A M I L L I O N M O N K E Y S

2010-07-12T19:50:00.000-04:00

Regarding Armando Galarraga's perfect game

2010-06-03T16:23:00.003-04:00

I promised myself that this wouldn't be a sports-only blog, but sports are just about the easiest thing to write a few lines about now and then. That said, I'm also still number-crunching and trying to figure out how to properly express how I feel about Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Last night, Nicole and I went to trivia with a couple of our friends, as we do almost every Wednesday night. My buddy Darren and I were BSing about the season so far, and fantasy sports, and just baseball in general when he got a message from another of his friends about a perfect game being ruined in Detroit by a bad call from an umpire. Having watched the final innings of both the Braden and Halladay perfect games on MLB Network (who are doing a bang-up job this season, by the way), I thought that the message must have gotten garbled, because three perfectos in one year (barely over two months, at that!) seemed just short of impossible. I checked the MLB headlines on my cell phone, read the short blurb, and couldn't wait to see the highlights when I got home.

By now, it's all old news. I assume that even the great majority of the nation's non-sports fans even know what happened last night. I also assume that 99% of the population feels that Galarraga deserves to be awarded the perfect game upon some kind of ruling by Commissioner Bud Selig (the other 1% being total jerks - people in Philly once booed Santa; these people exist).

So to add my thoughts to the tens of thousands of other bloggers who are also writing about this today:

Umpire Jim Joyce apologized. He admitted he was wrong, and he legitimately sounded very, very sorry for missing the call. Honest apologies are so hard to come by today in any facet of life, and his was from the heart. Everyone needs to give the guy a little slack. The poor bastard took the field in tears today in Detroit. Was it a big deal? Absolutely. But only in perspective to sport. Nobody got hurt. Nobody's livelihood was destroyed.

In the long-term, this is almost a better story - no offense to Mark Buehrle, for instance, but in 10 years, people are going to remember this game, not his. Even if Bud Selig doesn't overturn this (and he absolutely should, of course), the people who matter - the fans - will always know the truth. I think that as far as we're all concerned, it was a perfect game, official or not. Really, that's what matters.

You know what would be kind of cool, though? If Bud Selig does overturn this, then Galarraga would have the first regulation-length 28-hitter perfect game in history, if you look at it that way!

So yes, I feel that Bud Selig "absolutely should" overturn the decision, but I honestly don't know that he can, because he'd be opening himself up to criticism every time a controversial play occurs and he does nothing.

But I think that this is a very, very special exception:

1. It's recent. It's not worth going back to overturn the Vince Coleman call in the 1985 World Series at this point, because it wouldn't mean anything. This is fresh and relevant.

2. The umpire admits he was wrong and clearly wishes he could go back in time. This wasn't a matter of being screened by a defensive player and not seeing things clearly. He blew it, he admitted he blew it, and there's no disputing that he blew it.

3. It didn't affect the outcome of the game. Galarraga retired the next player, preserving the score at 3-0 and securing the win. It doesn't reverse a loss or take a run off the scoreboard, and it doesn't affect any of the players' stats adversely other than the batter who was incorrectly awarded a hit. I'm sure the batter, Jason Donald, would happily give up his 1-for-3 line in the box score for an 0-for-3 in order to "correct" history. Likewise, I'm sure that Trevor Crowe, who made the as-of-now "official" final out, wouldn't mind erasing an 0-4 for an 0-3, as minor as that change would be.

4. Galarraga was a class act in the face of a horrible set of circumstances. Things would have gotten incredibly bad if the pitcher had been Carlos Zambrano, for instance. Joyce would have ended up in the hospital, and Zambrano would have ended up in jail.

5. To not change it would be an incredibly short-sighted, completely dickish move by MLB.

And given the way Selig handles things, I'm sad to say it's what I expect to happen. But we'll see, and as a baseball fan I'm definitely going to keep my fingers crossed that Selig does, in fact, overrule the play.

Simply, and for no other reason, because it's the obvious and right thing to do.

2010-05-26T01:03:00.004-04:00

Glen "Big Baby" Davis is the best physical comedian in the NBA.

That is all.

Pearl Jam covering Van Halen (mp3 download)

2010-05-20T16:32:00.006-04:00

Hot off the presses (well, a couple of days ago, but it's new to me)! Some of you guys might enjoy this. Sounds like an audience recording, very good quality - this is a 320 kbps MP3.

Pearl Jam covering Van Halen's "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" live in Hartford, CT on May 15, 2010.

"Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love"

fast food foibles

2010-05-13T09:41:00.003-04:00

So with Nicole out of town, I decided to give in to my cravings and find some greasy food. We're usually relatively health-conscious and try to limit ourselves to one "outside" meal a week, usually pre- or post- weekend movie trip, but while the cat's away ...

So I ended up going to Wendy's, because it's only about a five minute drive from the apartment. I toyed with the idea of going to Five Guys in Madison, but the weather was crummy and I didn't want to drive all the way out there to either:

1. Sit by myself and rush through a giant burger and (way too many) fries just so I could get back home to listen to the Bruins game on-line, or

2. Drive there, get the burger, bring it home, and "enjoy" everything semi-cold instead.

I got the classic double, small sized, and something was off with the fries. They were really soft and kinda gross, not crisp the way they should be. And I just didn't enjoy the burger, for whatever reason. When Nicole called to say goodnight, I told her about the experience and I think she nailed it: we're so used to eating "good" fast food at this point (like Chipotle) that we've lost our taste for the burger chains. I love a good cheeseburger, but I've become too picky.

For $8, I could have gone to Costco and gotten an entire rotisserie chicken *and* had $3 left over for ... I don't know. Donuts or something.

Plus the Bruins lost anyway, and my feet got soaked through my sneakers while taking Fritz out for a walk out on the wet grass.

I also realized that I could have just driven downtown (or whatever that area is in regard to Morristown - using the word "downtown" is a bit of brave optimism, I think) to get some fantastic empanadas at Raoul's instead.

Total fail.

Oh, well.

In which we attend a taping of "The Daily Show"

2010-05-05T08:44:00.008-04:00

If you're reading this via Facebook and the links/photos don't work, you can also read this entry here:

http://comeaujim.blogspot.com/

Hello, internet. How have you been? It's been a while.

So yesterday was a pretty good day all around, I'd say. Not only was it Star Wars Day (May 4th, as in "May the Fourth be with you"), which would have made it plenty awesome on its own, but Nicole and I had tickets to sit in the audience for a taping of "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart".

I've always liked Jon Stewart, and not just because we agree on so many political issues. He seems to "get it" - funny, engaging, smart, and into a lot of indie/alternative music. A good guy all around. One of his favorite bands is one of mine, as well: Boston's own Buffalo Tom, the final band to perform on his pre-TDS talk show (a quick Google search returned no results for the video - anyone care to look more carefully to find it for me?).

A couple of months ago, I saw a Facebook message from the show saying that tickets were available for early May, so I headed over to the TDS website and furiously began filling out my ticket request so I wouldn't miss out. Then we waited, waited, and waited some more for the day to finally come - we did not go home disappointed. (Meaning, specifically, his guest for the show was not comedian Richard Lewis. When we got confirmation that we had tickets, I was afraid we wouldn't get a good guest. To that end, my definition of lousy, boring, uninteresting guests uses Richard Lewis as a measuring stick.)

An aside: getting into NYC is a total pain in the ass. It's a wonderful place ... you know, despite the Yankees and most of their fans. But anyway. I have a blast every time I go into the city (if you'll excuse the choice of words, given the recent attempted car bombing), but getting there shouldn't take nearly as long as it does. We drove to Newark, took the PATH to the WTC site, and then took the subway to 50th. Grand total, about two and a half hours. Granted, there was a fair amount of waiting for the PATH train to leave Newark station, but still. (In "Date Night" with Tina Fey and Steve Carrell, there's a joke about how Fey's character, a real-estate agent, knows full well she is lying to her clients about how long it takes to get from New Jersey to Manhattan.)

By the time we got to the studio, which is just far enough from the craziness of Times Square to make you almost forget you're in Manhattan, we found ourselves facing the perfect combination of problems: we were both hungry and early. We found a Thai place (Heng2 Thai Bistro) about a block away and took advantage of one of life's overlooked treats: the lunch menu. So much great food for a ridiculously low cost, plus a tall glass of "Thai Iced Coffee", which sounds like code-speak for an underaged college student who wants to order alcohol without a valid ID but is, in reality, roughly five tablespoons of coffee grounds in a single glass of water, mixed with another five tablespoons of sugar. It was thick. And the sticky rice? By the end of the meal, after it had been sitting on its plate for a while, I literally had to cut it with a knife to take a bite. Still, it was an unexpected treat and we highly recommend it if you ever find yourself in that neck of the (paved over, highly industrial) woods.

After lunch we had enough time to walk to FAO Schwartz, but not enough time to really explore it. Plus we didn't have our camera (more on that later). We have to go back, because we were not able to see the part of the store used for the piano scene in "Big", and because of the very important discovery that you can make your own muppets, which we are absolutely going to do sometime much sooner than later.

We headed back to the Daily Show studio and arrived at about 3 p.m., and there were a few dozen people already waiting in line. Within 15 minutes of our arrival, the line doubled in size. The picture I linked to is not my own, and I don't know when it was taken. There was a stanchion set up to guide the line, and when we arrived we were literally under the "733" on the left-hand side of the awning.

We waited in line for about two hours before being let into the studio, as they're very organized but pretty strict about how they go about filling the audience.

If you're in a group but waiting for people to show up, they have to be there and in line with you by 4:30, no exceptions. At 4:30, staff members take their attendance check-list (the list of names of those who registered for tickets on-line) and move down the line, handing out physical tickets (no more than little slips of paper with a number on them, really). If you're the fourth person in your group but don't have a ticket because you're weren't in line at 4:30, even though your three friends are there and have proof that 4 tickets were requested, too bad. Off to the stand-by line with you!

No outside food or drink is allowed, you can't chew gum in the studio, and all electronics must be turned off before entering the studio. We left our camera at home because the website and ticket-confirmation e-mail specifically said that all cameras were forbidden. Realistically, though, they tell you you can bring the camera into the studio but it must be off (cell phones, iPods, etc. too) before you walk through the door. While in line, staffers inform attendees (several times, to make sure the message is not missed) that anyone who even looks like they're using anything electronic in the studio to take pictures will have their gear confiscated and held until after the show, and they'll have to show staff members photos on the devices before they're allowed to take their gear back. If there are photos of the studio found, attendees are told, they will be made to erase them immediately.

They are not messing around!

I wish we'd taken our camera anyway for pictures during the rest of the trip, but we figured we'd go the "better safe but sorry" route.

Upon going through the front door, all attendees pass through a metal detector and into the studio, directly to the left. The studio itself was exactly as I'd envisioned it in my head. The entrance leads to a short set of stairs (maybe 4 or 5 steps) down to the floor. To the immediate right is a staging area used for bits such as Jon's hilarious impression of Glenn Beck (though the chalkboard was nowhere to be found during our visit). In front of that, to the right as you enter the studio, is what you see on TV: the desk, the glass globe where the TDS correspondents sit, the monitors. Seeing it in person was a bit of a "holy shit" moment, I have to admit.

Just beyond the desk as you enter the studio is the first section of audience seating, to the left of Jon's desk (or to his right, depending on your perspective). To the left is the main seating area, which is where Nicole and I were placed. That's another rule, actually: they ask you to please not ask for different seats, and to sit where you're directed. They acknowledge that at various times one's view may be blocked by cameras or props, but that it's the nature of the beast, and it can't be avoided. There are many TV screens hanging from the ceiling showing what's going on at the desk anyway (including the various video clips used during the show, etc. - what you see on the screen is what viewers will see at home when the show airs every night).

I've drawn a very crude sketch of the studio layout. The two red dots?

That's where Nicole and I sat. We could not have asked for better seats. We were slightly off center, four rows up. We could see around *and* over the cameraman who shoots the straight-on desk angle, which was fantastic, because when we have tickets for various events, we always seem to end up sitting behind Kevin McHale and Frankenstein. But not this time!

The show starts at about 5:45 or so. After the audience had been seated, the music in the studio (mostly classic rock - Led Zeppelin, the Stones, etc.) seemed to get louder and louder until the warm-up comedian came out to chat with the audience and go over some ground rules. He explained that the audience had to be very active during the show, because watching passively and laughing to yourself at home is a very different experience than being in the studio. When you listen to the audience when you're at home, it's an important part of the organic experience of hearing a joke. The reaction in the studio helps to get a reaction at home. He encouraged everyone to have a great time, and to laugh heartily without faking it. This is actually a very easy thing to do once you're there and "in the moment" with the 230-or-so other audience members.

There are microphones hanging over all sections of the audience to pick up the response to Stewart's "performance", but there is NO "applause" sign anywhere in the studio. I can assure you that the energy from the audience is not fake or forced, and that the reaction to the videos and jokes is very natural. It gets loud in there. The stagehands do a quick countdown to let everyone know when the commercial break will be ending, so everyone can make noise at the beginning of the next segment, but that's it.

After the warm-up comedian did his thing, Jon came out to answer a few audience questions (most of which, on this afternoon, were of the "I was wondering if you had any advice for someone who ..." variety). He tried to shrug these off a bit, in his typical self-deprecating "why would anyone thing I'm an expert" kind of style, but he was a good sport. He did warn everyone, though, that his guest (former first lady Rosalynn Carter) was violent and swearing a blue streak backstage (funny, because she's in her 80s and could not possibly have been more soft-spoken, kind, and warm).

Literally seconds after taking the last question from the audience, he went behind the desk and the show started almost immediately. No countdown, no anything, just time to go!

Watching the show on TV, you know that Stewart often swears during the taping, but it was a little weird to actually hear the words instead of just the bleeps.

I was a little disappointed that the second segment was a recorded one, as I was hoping we'd see John Oliver, Larry Wilmore, or better yet John Hodgman. Oh well. I don't know if Jon sees these segments prior to their becoming part of the show, because he sat at his desk watching it on his monitor along with the audience, and he was clearly enjoying himself and laughing as well as it aired. After leading into a commercial, he pointed to the top of the stairs where we had all entered and introduced Jason Jones, the correspondent who had produced the segment.

Between segments they played more music, to which Jon would frequently play pencil drums or mouth the words while preparing for the next bit. They played Foo Fighters and Bush when we were there, but not whole songs. Very little time is wasted, and the 30 minutes of TV that aired last night was actually taped in about 23, I'd guess. Intro, segment 1, outro, short break, intro, segment 2, outro, short break, intro, guest, outro, short break, intro, Moment of Zen, credits, go home. The show was over so quickly I could barely believe we were already done.

After the show, Jon thanked everyone for coming and headed backstage. As we got up to leave, I went over to one of his staff members and handed her two DVDs to give to Jon: I had burned him MP3s of 24 Buffalo Tom bootlegs that I'd acquired over the years on one DVD; on the other, 17 Tom Waits shows. I wrote a short note simply thanking him for the great work he did. I hope he got them. I didn't put my name on it or anything (I wasn't fishing for a handshake or autograph or anything), but if one of his staff members ever finds this blog entry someday, perhaps they can let him know it was me who was responsible for the discs, and that I hope he enjoyed them as much as I enjoyed being part of the Daily Show's audience.

Perhaps we'll get to attend another taping in a few months, when we're eligible again. Or perhaps we'll see the Colbert Report ... my fingers are crossed!

If you missed it, here's the episode directly from Comedy Central.

Still alive

2009-11-06T08:05:00.001-05:00

Over two months since my last entry? Seriously?

Halloween 2: The Disastering

2009-09-01T11:43:00.004-04:00

The plan last Sunday morning was to get up early-ish so we could hit the first (i.e., cheap) showing of "Inglorious Basterds". I'd looked up the movie's start times on Fandango.com and I will swear to my dying day that it said the film started at 10:00 a.m. We drove out to the theater in Rockaway and it pretty much all went downhill from there.

"Inglorious Basterds" did not, in fact, begin until 11:35 - a full 90+ minutes after the time Fandango had indicated the day before (which got me thinking that maybe the Sunday times are different than the Saturday times, since I'd looked the info up the night before ... I got to thinking about this too late, obviously). We really didn't want to wait, because the movie itself is about two and a half hours long and we had other errands we wanted to check off our list. We'd anticipated getting out at about 1:00, and now we'd be pushing 2:30 or later, depending on how many trailers we'd be forced to endure.

We had also wanted to check out "Halloween 2", but wanted to see "Inglorious Basterds" more. "Halloween 2" started at 10:05, though, so we decided to see Michael Myers kill a bunch of teenagers instead of hanging out to see to see Brad Pitt killing a bunch of Nazis. (Just so you know, we're not sociopaths - the week before, we'd gone to see "(500) Days of Summer", which was very good and not a single person died, thank you very much.)

I'd liked roughly the first two-thirds of Rob Zombie's "Halloween" re-make a couple of years ago. I thought it fell apart toward the end when he started re-hashing John Carpenter's story (Michael Myers trying to kill Laurie Strode), but liked the whole new backstory he'd created along the way, showing us an "origin" story rather than just a simple slasher flick. I also liked "The Devil's Rejects", though it was a very, very difficult movie to watch. Very violent, very gruesome. Something about it clicked, though, and while I certainly wouldn't recommend it to just anyone, I'd give it a thumbs up overall.

And I'm no prude when it comes to graphic content. I've seen zombies tear people apart whole ("Dawn of the Dead"). I've seen fountains of spouting blood ("Kill Bill"). I've seen compound fractures ("The Descent") and dental torture ("Old Boy"). I've seen unimaginable horrors I wouldn't want to repeat, because they're too repulsive to describe (Rob Schneider in "Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo").

Pretty much, I'm up for everything and anything.

About fifteen minutes into "Halloween 2", Nicole and I got up and left the theater leaving the other four people there to wonder why were were taking off so soon.

Nicole was visibly ill from what she'd seen and heard, and even I was uncomfortable in my seat.

The movie opens with an interpretation of what a white horse means in one's dreams, and there's a flashback to young Michael Myers being visited by his mother in the mental hospital. These are the best parts of what we saw. (The story was so shocking, I will now swap verb tenses. The horror!)

Also, if you don't like reading about really, really nasty stuff (or if you just don't want to read potential spoilers) you might want to skip the next two paragraphs. Seriously.

Soon, we flash back immediately to where the last film ended. Laurie Strode, bloody and battered, shambles down a road with a gun in her hand until the police find her. She's convinced that she's killed Myers, but can barely speak and is clearly suffering from physical and mental overload and shock. She, her friend Annie, and Dr. Loomis are all taken to hospitals. The body of Michael Myers, who is presumed to be dead and weighs so much that six EMTs have to load his body into an ambulance, is also packed up and shipped off.

The ambulance driver and his co-worker proceed to use the f-word at every opportunity and have a disgusting conversation about necrophilia. Of course, the situation goes to hell, and Myers escapes decapitates the ambulance driver (who has been pleading for help, blood gushing from his mouth) with a large shard of broken glass. Next thing you know, he's at the hospital where Laurie Strode has been stitched up and resting. Too bad Zombie didn't spend more time focusing on the "resting" part, because he sure spent enough time focusing on the "stitched up" part. We are shown Strode's hands, with skin peeling off of the fingers that she has remaining. We are shown her emergency surgery. Stitches, broken teeth, giant meaty gashes ... nothing is left to the imagination. Despite all of this, Strode wakes up later that night and stumbles down the hall to find a nurse because she wants to check on her friend, Annie. Surprise surprise! This is pretty much exactly when the giant killer shows up. The nurse on duty comes around the corner, a giant slash down the middle of her face, through her lips, with blood pouring down the front of her uniform. Myers follows, and brutally and repeatedly stabs the woman with his giant knife.

I don't remember the exact context of the situation, but I recall years ago having a conversation with my friend JD about a news article we'd read about a real-life murder victim who'd been stabbed 30+ times. "At what point," JD wondered, "does it stop being stabbing and start being stirring?" This is how I felt about "Halloween 2".

Not only was the absolutely brutal, unrelenting violence portrayed visually, the sound mix was completely over the top. Every sickening slicing, squishing, and squirting sound you can think of was amped up to top volume, like someone was pouring gallon after gallon of pulpy tomato sauce on the ground next to you.

Anyway, this is when we got up and left. Nicole was a little wobbly from the experience and was willing to wait for me in the lobby, but I wasn't going to make her wait another hour-plus for me when she obviously wasn't feeling well, and at that point, I'd pretty much given up any hope that the movie could be redeemed besides.

If violence has a point in a movie, I can usually live with it. This was something else entirely. Just 15 minutes or so in, I no longer cared what was going to happen. I didn't care about the characters, I didn't care if the story found closure, and I didn't care that our morning plans were ruined. I didn't even care that Rob Zombie, who I believe to be smarter and more talented than he showed with this exhibition, had let me down. I just wanted to stop feeling like I was being assaulted by the film. I just wanted to leave.

I proposed going into one of the other 15 theaters to see something else instead, since we'd already bought tickets for a movie we weren't going to watch, but Nicole was on the green side, and the only movie about to start was "G-Force". So we bailed. Fortunately, the woman working the ticket counter was able to refund both of our tickets because we were leaving so early. "I don't like these kinds of movies", she said to us. "They're no good."

Got that right.

A couple of weeks ago I watched the Kevin Smith comedy "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" via Netflix. It's certainly not a great movie, and I didn't need to see Seth Rogan's naked ass or Jay Mewes' naked EVERYTHING. There were some boobs thrown in for good measure. There were all sorts of synonyms and euphemism for various sexual acts and body parts during clearly humorous conversations. Nobody died. There wasn't a drop of blood to be found. And in the end, there was a happy ending. (Not that kind, either.)

Before it was released to the theaters, "Zack and Miri" was slapped with an X-rating and had to undergo many cuts to earn an R. TV and print ads wouldn't use the film's full name.

How there was so much attention paid to that movie yet "Halloween 2" slid by with an R is beyond me. The violence in just the first 15 minutes of H2 should have earned it an X-rating, or an NC-17 ... hell, given our reaction to it, NC-35 might have been too lenient.

It's frustrating to me that such varying standards of what is allowed and what isn't exist in the eyes of the MPAA. Apparently, if you show the body you're born with, that's a horrible thing that nobody should be allowed to see, but if you chop all of those parts off, you can do it on-screen in whatever revolting, graphic, bloody way you want. Not that I want every movie to feature sexual situations just because they can, of course - it's just that I wish filmmakers would also realize that they don't need to pile on the violence just because they can, either.

I wonder about the DVD release of this film. I'm sure the studio will release an "Uncut Director's Special Edition" at some point, but given what we saw, what the hell could Zombie have left out? I would think it impossible to be even more violent, but I'm sure I'd be wrong.

So there's our horrible experience at the movies, which might have been prevented (or, at the very least delayed) had Fandango given us the correct film times.

Thank you, internet!

Another entry about Universal Health Care

2009-08-20T12:40:00.000-04:00

While I appreciate President Obama's desire to include Republicans in the health care reform process, I've long passed the point of expecting them (the Republicans) to bring anything constructive to the conversation.

If Obama were to step outside the White House and say it's a beautiful sunny day, a dozen morons would be on Fox News within hours claiming that the overwhelming majority of Americans believe that the sun is too hot, and that the use of trees for free, relaxing shade is a socialist plot anyway. As long as rich white people have air conditioners and everyone else can't afford them ...

But anyway, the point is, those who seem to be most vocal (ie, screamin' blue crazy) about the issue are the ones who:

1. Probably aren't relying on their insurance right now for major health issues, or

2. Are rich or employed by insurance groups who are using scare tactics to get those in #1 to support them. (Obama's going to kill you. It's true! He's hiding under the bed, and the call is coming from inside the house!)

President Obama has stated, quite clearly, that those who like their current insurance plans and doctors can keep them. Even more emphatically, he's tried to explain (with little success so far, as so many seem to have stuck their fingers in their ears, shouting "lalalalala!" to block out his words) that there is not/has never been/will never be a government "death panel" that will decide who gets coverage and treatment. (If anything, the insurance companies so fiercely opposed to the current reform considerations should embrace government-run death panels - what better way to convince people to stay with their current, private insurance rather than adopt a public, government-sponsored option? I can see the advertisements now: "100% Death Panel Free!", "Our co-payments and cost of medications may be ridiculous, but at least you'll be around to pay them!", "An arm and a leg? Doesn't sound like such a bad deal now, does it?")

In fact, Obama has stated an awful lot of things quite clearly about what kind of legislation he's looking for. The "trillion dollar" cost that's been decried was explained very well at one of his town hall events in New Hampshire a couple of weeks ago - that cost is spread out over ten years (it's not a one-time, immediate expenditure) , and part of it is paid for by canceling uncompetitive, wasteful contracts currently in place. In the President's own words (complete transcript here):

About two-thirds of those costs we can cover by eliminating the inefficiencies that I already mentioned. So I already talked about $177 billion worth of subsidies to the insurance companies. Let's take that money, let's put it in the kitty. There's about $500 billion to $600 billion over 10 years that can be saved without cutting benefits for people who are currently receiving Medicare, actually making the system more efficient over time. (Jim's note: read the entire transcript for more on this.)

That does still leave, though, anywhere from $300 billion to $400 billion over 10 years, or $30 billion to $40 billion a year. That does have to be paid for, and we will need new sources of revenue to pay for it. And I've made a proposal that would -- I want to just be very clear -- the proposal, my preferred approach to this would have been to take people like myself who make more than $250,000 a year, and limit the itemized deductions that we can take to the same level as middle-class folks can take them.

So yes ... taxes will go up. For those making $250K+. Those making under that amount pay no more in taxes. Which is what, exactly? Oh, yeah ... fulfilling his campaign promise. You know, the one that helped get him elected by people like me who voted for him for a reason?

A quick sidebar on taxes and new programs: no, they aren't all perfect. Some criticisms about the "cash for clunkers" program are very valid. The offer should have been for American car purchases only, for instance. The ball was dropped on that one, I'll be the first to admit. But as far as the argument that "we pay enough taxes already and I don't want my money to pay for someone else's insurance" is BS. As of now, Obama has stated that he wants to return to Clinton-era tax rates - you remember Bill Clinton, right? The guy who created a budget surplus and led us into a period of peace and prosperity in the 90s? But back to the point: the government is always going to use your tax money to fund programs that you'll disagree with. It's just the way things are. Unfortunately, we don't get to choose where or how our money is spent. I don't have any kids, but my tax dollars have been used to pay for public schools. While I lived in Boston, and then for a while in Portland, I didn't own a car - but my tax dollars funded upkeep and repair of roads and highways, walk signs, and red lights. Though I didn't get a direct benefit from these services, I certainly didn't complain that my tax contributions were being spent on them. And if I did have a choice on how my money would be spent, it certainly wouldn't have been allocated to pay for the war in Iraq. Anyway.

The problem, of course, is that those who oppose Obama (and it isn't so much his plans that they oppose, it's Obama himself; Mitt Romney, as governor of Massachusetts, led an effort to require health insurance for every resident of the state, but since he's a Republican that's apparently not socialism) so vehemently will never listen to him and believe what he's saying - which I can sort of understand, given that I didn't believe any of the bullshit from the Bush/Cheney years. But at least there was legitimate proof that Bush and Cheney were lying bastards; Obama hasn't done anything remotely similar in his few months in office so far. For instance: Bush said there was no domestic spying, and that there were WMDs in Iraq. Cheney even said he knew where they were. There's ample evidence at this point that illegal, warrant-less domestic spying took place; the WMD thing is subject to the argument that the weapons were all moved out of the country, which is possible, but the fact of the matter is that the stockpiles that the previous administration assured us were an imminent threat to the world have not been found and may not have actually existed. Two demonstrably false statements with major implications, right there. Meanwhile, there is not a single shred of evidence that "Barack Obama is going to kill your grandparents!" (Unlike Sarah Palin, who's apparently had a hand in just that sort of thing, intentional or otherwise.)

And if the anti-reform protesters aren't of their opinions because they intrinsically don't trust politicians, I'd venture to guess it's because they're ill-informed, paranoid, or bitter that their party lost during the last election cycle.

I should clarify and state that I'm referring to the crazies who show up to town hall meetings with guns, who shout down their elected representatives instead of trying to engage them like civil human beings, or who insist that Obama is, somehow, a Nazi. Only in today's Glen Beck-inspired Bizarro America is wanting to help preserve the health of 42 million people the equivalent of attempting to exterminate an entire religion's followers. It is absolutely possible to disagree with the President's plan, or to feel that Universal Health Care is a poor idea, and not come across as a raving lunatic or violent asshole. While I strongly disagree with many of their viewpoints on the health issue, I can at least respect that they're trying to maintain some level of class and decorum. I still hold out hope that the majority of Republicans and conservatives silently fall into this category, actually. I have no reason to doubt that they do.

The ones who are agitated enough by and then parrot what they see on certain 24-hour news networks and read on slanted blogs and websites, though ... hoo, boy. A few scant hours had passed following my last post warning that violence seemed imminent when a couple of scuffles broke out nationwide. I'm not exactly optimistic that we've seen the worst of it all at this point, either, though I hope I'm wrong. I mean, geez Louise, people are bringing loaded firearms to these events now. WTF?

My feelings about the whole circus echo many of the ones that others have already stated very eloquently:

1. That bringing firearms to town hall rallies has nothing to do with the health care issue itself. (Uh, derrr!)

Also, starting at about 2:35 of this clip from The Daily Show, you'll be reminded of how much hoopla there was when anti-Bush protesters were thrown out of various rallies for simply wearing anti-Bush t-shirts. Guns outside venues where President Obama is speaking? That's PATRIOTISM, apparently.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

The Gun Show - Barrel Fever

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Healthcare Protests

2. That Republicans are bringing no viable alternatives to the discussion despite their alleged desire to be part of the process.

(Chris Matthews shows an unexpected flash of spine, especially at about 1:50 - this whole clip is really solid, though.)

"Here's my problem with you guys. The conservatives talk reasonably when the Democrats get in power and say 'well, we've got an alternative that's more free-market, it's less onerous, it's less big-shot, big-government stuff...' but when you guys are in power, you don't do anything on health care. And that's what happens, and that's why for, god, almost a century of foot-dragging on this, the Democrats get in power, whether it's Truman or it's Bill Clinton, or it's Hillary Clinton, or it's Barack Obama, they try something and it fails, because you guys are good at playing negative politics. You're really good at destroying Democrats plans, chances for reform..."

3. And that you don't mess with Barney Frank (Give 'em hell, Barney!):

**************

So, all of that having been said, are my own opinions regarding why I support Universal Health Care (or socialized medicine, or whatever you want to call it).

1. In my opinion, health care is a basic human right, not a privilege. That's a personal moral statement, and the least politically defensible one I can make. As such, I find it distasteful (at best) that health care is treated as a profitable commodity rather than a basic human decency.

Now, I realize it's impossible to completely dissolve the current system, which is slanted to heavily favor the bottom lines of insurance companies' financial books and which has its hooks deeply into the world of political lobbying. The thought of a single-payer system, in which everyone has access to the exact same medical plans via the exact same medical coverage, is a nice one, but it's a fantasy. It'll never happen, so we have to think in terms of what is possible. And what is possible is a public option.

2. A public insurance option would provide an affordable insurance choice, for example, to those facing a lack of comprehensive insurance coverage from their current employers. Some employers will cover vision, for example, but not dental - or vice versa. Imagine you've got two or three kids in grammar or high school ... ok kids, your choice: healthy teeth, or the ability to see clearly. One or the other! A public option could help solve issues like this.

Or, say you're currently unemployed (a problem facing almost 10% of the American workforce these days). Vision? Dental? Nope, nope. In fact, you might as well just lock yourself inside and not move around at all, because you're not covered for anything. You take the bus or subway one day to a job interview and touch a pole to hang on so you don't fall over, then you rub your eyes. Better hope you get the job, and that you don't get pinkeye! Cha-ching!

Or maybe you have what looks like decent insurance, but there are so many exclusions and deductibles that you're still kinda screwed anyway.

3. The "death squad" thing again: all this anxiety about the government telling you that you can't get care, yet insurance companies are already constantly rejecting claims on the basis of pre-existing conditions, or policy limits on the amount of coverage one can receive. "Well, Mr. Smith, I hate to give you the bad news, but you're not covered. Nobody told you to get cancer! You should have thought of that before you had to spend $10K per month for medications!"

Tell me this doesn't horrify you. It should. People should not have to choose to forgo care because the cost is so extreme.

Whatever happened to President Bush's "compassionate conservativism"? A myth from day one.

Believe it or not, I'm all for a free market, and I'm pro-capitalism, but come on now ... aren't we supposed to "love thy neighbor", or is that just convenient religious conservative lip-service? Haven't Republicans been telling us forever that "all life is sacred"? Apparently not, if you're poor. If you can't afford it, please step aside, because Mr. Limbaugh needs his pain pills and he can pay out of pocket.

4. And again, if you like your current plan, as President Obama has repeatedly stated, you can keep it. You don't have to be part of the public plan! Just smile, be happy, and let everyone else worry about themselves while you worry about yourself. Speaking of poking your nose into other people's business ...

5. I love the argument that "health care should be solely between the patient and the doctor." Actually, I completely agree with that, one hundred percent. What I really love is the hypocrisy. Like the Terry Schiavo case, for instance, in which

President Bush returned to Washington D.C. from a vacation to sign legislation designed to keep Schiavo alive, making the case a major national news story throughout that month. In all, the Schiavo case involved 14 appeals and numerous motions, petitions, and hearings in the Florida courts; five suits in federal district court; Florida legislation struck down by the Supreme Court of Florida; a subpoena by a congressional committee to qualify Schiavo for witness protection; federal legislation (the Palm Sunday Compromise); and four denials of certiorari from the Supreme Court of the United States.

Yup, patient and doctor, strictly adhering to the grand conservative plan. Well played, guys! Nice job!

6. Public option coverage should only cover legitimate medical issues. Plastic surgery, for instance, should absolutely not be covered.

Likewise, I don't think a public option should cover abortion procedures unless the life of the mother is explicitly in danger. I say this despite my pro-choice stance. It's an issue that will be a deal-killer in congress if it's included, no doubt. I wouldn't want to risk the wide-reaching benefit of what Universal Health Care has to offer for this one single issue.

Besides, abortion is not the only option for an unwilling parent-to-be. Adoption, counseling ... there are other ways to handle unexpected or unwanted pregnancies.

I do, however, feel that abortion should be available to those who are willing to handle the procedure outside the realm of a public health care insurance option. I just don't support coverage by a public plan. Safe, legal procedures should remain available on an out-of-pocket basis.

7. Universal health care could save loads of cash for patients that could be used in the private sector for purchasing goods (food, cars, homes, clothes, whatever).

Say you wake up one morning with a nasty headache or some dizzy spells. Next morning, same thing. Maybe it goes away for a bit but comes back with a vengeance, but you don't want to risk getting plugged with an expensive bill for a doctor's visit, blood tests, maybe an MRI or some x-rays because you're currently unemployed. Who knows. So you skip going to see a doctor hoping it goes away, and that you can keep your $350 so you can pay your rent next month.

But the pain doesn't go away and eventually gets worse. On the plus side, you've managed to land a new job and now have insurance, so a couple of months after the pain started you bite the bullet, go to the doctor, and find out you have a brain tumor, and the cost to you will be, oh, let's say in the ballpark of $200,000.

But hey, it's a free market, right? The insurance company is just making an honest buck, and as the condition was pre-existing since you were showing symptoms prior to your current coverage from your new employers, why should little ol' you be covered when the company only made a profit last year in the tens rather than hundreds of millions of dollars?

Or how about if everyone could simply show up at their doctors' offices to get free flu shots? In the big picture, doesn't it make more sense for everyone to be vaccinated for free rather than for the economy to take a hit due to an overwhelming number of man-hours lost to sick time?

Doesn't it make sense to make prevention a priority rather than concentrating on curing a sickness once it's already set in? An ounce of prevention vs. the pound of cure? Anyone?

(The same argument has raged between liberals and conservatives for ... well, forever, I'd guess, regarding law enforcement. Liberals think providing social program options like after-school, or gang-prevention, or prison eduction programs are worth more because you'll nip potential societal issues at the bud, whereas conservatives would rather just wait until something bad happens and throw everyone in jail after the fact. News flash: that plan isn't working. The jails are overcrowded, and the prisoners being released at the end of their sentences are often not ready to rejoin the workforce. So they commit more crimes and end up back in jail. And the cycle continues, unending. But I digress ... that's another issue.)

************************************************************

So there you go. I hope that was all somewhat coherent.

I would like to think that Republicans would realize that they are no longer in control of the White House and Congress, and that it's for a reason: more people liked what the Democrats were bringing to the table, imperfect as that may be. You had your turn, you screwed it up. Now, unless you can come up with a better, viable alternative, please step aside and let the Obama administration have a chance to try to fulfill it's potential. If anything, despite Mitt Romney's complete about-face on the issue and criticisms about Obama's direction, Obama has already ceded too much to the Republicans and hasn't been liberal enough in pressing his plan.

I would hope it doesn't come to this, but the "signing statement" option, odious as it is, could be how this all gets decided - which is a total kick in the pants, given the President's stated desire for bipartisanship. Given the Republicans' desire, apparently, to take their ball and go home, Obama's hand might be forced. But Reagan, Bush I, Clinton, and (most frequently) Bush II all used signing statements, so - in theory - the Sean Hannitys of the world should have no problem if Obama chooses this route. Hannity couldn't possibly be so two-faced that he'd be against a strategy that George W. Bush used so often simply because his successor uses it to, right? Right?

I'm not naive enough to think that I have the answer for every aspect of this problem. I'm certainly not confident that any adopted reform won't face unexpected hurdles along the way. Will there be waste and corruption? Undoubtedly there will be some. New policy tends to bring out the worst forms of mismanagement and make-a-buck scam artists one can imagine. But it wouldn't be the first time (post-Katrina FEMA trailers, anyone?), and it won't be the last. I hate to resign myself to it, but it's just the way it is. And the Democrats and Republicans will blame each other. And the sun will rise in the East and set in the West.

But if that too-hot sun on a beautiful day should cause you anything from a minor burn to severe skin cancer, wouldn't it be nice to know that your health plan isn't going to kill you if the symptoms don't get you first?

OK, OK ... settle down before you hurt someone.

2009-08-06T10:05:00.002-04:00

I would like to think that the recently energized, frothing-at-the-mouth crowds that have been taking over local town hall meetings decrying Universal Healthcare are the fringe minority.

Mind you, I'm not saying that I oppose or dislike all people who don't agree with me on the subject on the basis of personal opinion - not at all. Disagreement is one of the wonderful aspects of a democracy, and I'm always open to a healthy debate because I could change my mind if properly persuaded ... and I hold out hope that I could possibly change someone else's mind if my argument is persuasive enough.

But that's not my issue with what's been going on. My issue is the way that these increasingly vocal crowds have decided not to embrace civility, instead choosing to shout down elected officials and crank the angry knob up to 11. Embracing every worst-case scenario ("they'll ration our healthcare!"; "They're going to kill our elderly!"; "Barney Frank drinks the blood of children!") and apparently following the Glen Beck road to mental wellness, some of these people are getting a little scary. I'm all for a "power to the people" movement, because yes, elected officials work do for us, and they should listen to their constituents when making their official congressional votes.

What some of these people seem to have forgotten, however, is that elected officials are elected by the people. Sometimes politicians who are elected are total duds. That's unfortunate, inevitable, and unescapable. Fortunately, we have a simple solution: vote them out!

But for anyone shouting that "Obama needs to listen to the voters" because "we're his boss, not the other way around" (both absolutely true statements), keep this in mind: President Obama ran for election on a particular platform against the Republican ticket after eight years of Republican control of the White House (six of which also featured control of the Senate and the House). And you know what?

He won.

He ran on a platform that supported healthcare reform, up to and including Universal Healthcare. And he won. President Obama was able to convince more people to vote for him than to vote for John McCain. Now, just six months after being inaugurated, he's trying to implement some of the "change" around which he centered his campaign - the "change" that the majority of voters supported - and look at what's happening. The gathering crowd is trying to find their torches and pitchforks, the way Springfielders handle populist uprisings on 'The Simpsons'.

People, people, people ... We're only six months into this thing! Give the man a chance!

(And remember, even if you don't like the guy, some of us still support him - our opinions count too, you know!)

I can hear it now: But you guys hated George Bush! Why is it OK for you to do this and not us!?

A couple of things to consider:

1. Bush lost the popular vote to Al Gore, but moved into the Oval Office after a series of very controversial rulings by various courts and election officials who seemed to have very personal connections to the Bush campaign (Katherine Harris, anyone?). The deck seemed somewhat stacked in Bush's favor going into that entire ordeal. And even if the election results hadn't been touched by subjective controversy, the unalterable FACT is that more people voted for Gore than Bush. At the very least, the "belief" (if you want to call it that) that the Bush administration was not legitimately elected at least has some basis in reality.

The "belief" of the birthers who don't feel that Obama is actually a U.S. citizen, on the other hand, has an epicenter squarely located in Crazyville. Or Fox News. Take your pick. The birthers ... oh, they deserve their own post eventually, just not this one (actually, they deserve nothing, but I digress). I will say this, though, with confidence: the true, hard-core birthers are insane. Certifiably. Obama was legitimately elected in both the popular vote and the electoral college, something Bush could not say after his first election.

2. Six months into Bush's first term, Bush did not have to deal with such a horrible economic crisis following Bill Clinton's Presidency as Obama now has after Bush's. Anyone who wants to blame Obama for the current mess has selective memory at best. Does the stimulus leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth? Sure. Has Obama handled everything perfectly? No. But I firmly believe he's doing the best he can and acting in the best interest of the American population (which means EVERYONE, not just the rich white people who usually get to make the rules that favor their own).

Also, keep in mind, the first stimulus package was signed by GWB, not BO.

Holding Obama accountable for the entirety of the economy is like blaming the Fire Department for water damaging your stuff after the blaze has already burned it all to a crisp. He's trying to put the fire out, people. He didn't light it.

3. This is subjective, I realize, but it would appear that the intensity of dislike for President Obama in just six months more aggressive and violent than it ever was under Bush. For instance:

"Barack Obama faces 30 death threats a day, stretching US Secret Service"

Since Mr Obama took office, the rate of threats against the president has increased 400 per cent from the 3,000 a year or so under President George W. Bush, according to Ronald Kessler, author of In the President's Secret Service.

Unbelievable, isn't it? I may have wished that Bush would exit, stage left, much sooner than he did, but I never wished him death, that's for sure.

And I certainly never insinuated that Bush was the Anti-Christ. But nobody would ever say that about Obama, right?

Nahh ...

So my advice to the fringe minority would be this, I guess (again, I don't aim this at all conservatives, just the ones on the Crazy Train): Take a step back. Take a deep breath. Try to take a fresh approach to your opposition. If you feel so strongly that you're right, try to explain yourself with clarity and civility, instead of screaming until you're red in the face. Because right now, you all just look like a bunch of assholes.

Two Facebook questionnaires completed

2009-08-05T15:51:00.003-04:00

I always say “I don’t usually fill these out …” and then end up filling out more of them than I expected to, so … um, don’t get used to it is what I’m saying, maybe. Unless I get another really good one, then yeah. Or maybe what I’m saying is please don’t get offended if you tag me via Facebook in one of these and I don’t participate.

First up, for Tara and Holly:

50 Bands I’ve Seen (sorted alphabetically, thanks to MS Word):

Alice In Chains
Beastie Boys
Bevis Frond
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Brad
Buffalo Tom
Counting Crows
Dear Leader
Deathcab For Cutie
Dinosaur Jr
Dismemberment Plan
Evan Dando
Faith No More
Foo Fighters
Franz Ferdinand
Goldfrapp
Guns N’ Roses (both lineups)
Helicopter Helicopter
Helmet
Letters to Cleo
Los Straitjackets
Megadeth
Metallica
Morphine
Mum
Ned’s Atomic Dustbin
Nine Inch Nails
Orbit
Paul Westerberg
Pearl Jam
Prince
Queensryche
REM
School of Fish
Scissorfight
Sigur Ros
Slayer
Sloan
Smashing Pumpkins
Swervedriver
Ted Leo + Pharmacists
The Black Crowes
The Cure
The Gravel Pit
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
The Sheila Divine
U2
Urge Overkill
Van Halen
ZZ Top

For Shawn:

“Getting to know unshitty people”

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:50

2. How do you like your steak? medium

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harry Potter 6

4. What is your favorite TV show? Arrested Development

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Boston, MA or Portland, OR

6. What did you have for breakfast? A banana and some coffee

7. your favorite cuisine? Grilled stuff (chicken, cheeseburgers) – does that count?

8. What foods do you dislike? Cantaloupe – I absolutely detest it.

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Cha (23rd and Glisan, Portland OR)

10. Favorite dressing? Anything from the Paul Newman brand

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? Currently a 2004 Mazda 3 hatchback

12. What are your favorite clothes? Shorts and a t-shirt.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Australia

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Depends on the subject matter.

15. Where would you want to retire? Pacific Northwest

16. Favorite time of day? 7-9 p.m., I suppose.

17. Where were you born? Worcester, MA (technically Shrewsbury, I guess … that’s where the hospital is)

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Baseball is my favorite sport, but put the two worst NFL teams on TV and I’ll watch it – so football, I guess.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? Not tagging anyone to begin with …

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? See above.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? See above.

22. Bird Watcher? No.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Both, but I prefer night.

24. Do you have any pets? Not currently, but I still miss our dear Joey very much.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I wish.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? Taller than I am now, that’s for sure.

27. What is your favorite childhood memory? Summer trips to Fenway with my family

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Dog, without question

29. Are you married? Nearly three years!

30. Always wear your seat belt? Always have.

31. Been in a car accident? Yeah, 15+ years ago

32. Any pet peeves? The ignorance of the average American

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Sausage

34. Favorite Flower? I have no idea. Let’s say Sunflower.

35. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate chip (two scoops, please)

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Burgerville

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Zero-point-zero.

38. From whom did you get your last email? Nicole

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Best Buy

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? No

41. Like your job? Grr …

42. Broccoli? Absolutely yes.

43. What was your favorite vacation? So many to choose from! First trip to Disney World was a lot of fun.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Nicole

45. What are you listening to right now? Pandora radio (specifically “Bark at the Moon” – Ozzy)

46. What is your favorite color? Navy blue

47. How many tattoos do you have? Not a one

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? None.

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 3:48 p.m.

Notes on a Scandal

2009-07-31T09:24:00.002-04:00

Well, this is all very unpleasant, isn’t it? And somewhat predictable, perhaps?

David Ortiz, until this season the ever-grinning, always optimistic President of All Things Good in Red Sox Nation, has been named in an article in the New York Times as having tested positive for performance enhancing drugs (“PEDs”) in 2003, the year before the Sox broke their World Series drought with their first championship since 1918.

And now, less than a day since the news broke, everyone is trying to figure out what it all means.

I’ll be the first to admit that I was born with a Red Sox hat on, and I’m absolutely loyal to my team, but I hope I’m not so partial as to be blind to the bad and to embrace only the good. I write the following as a fan of the team specifically, as a fan of the sport in general, and as a guy wants to see the world in a “glass half-full” kind of way but is constantly reminded that it is, in fact, so often nearly empty altogether. So a few thoughts:

******

I’ve read a few articles/blog entries about how David Ortiz, like others who have tested positive (Manny Ramirez), who have faced damning evidence outside of a court of law (Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro, Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa …), or who have admitted to using banned substances and written tell-all books (you-know-who), is no longer considered a candidate for the Hall of Fame. Let’s be honest here - Ortiz was never going to be a serious candidate for the Hall in the first place. The Red Sox Hall of Fame? Absolutely still a candidate, no matter what. All the clutch hits, and there were many, and impressive stats are overshadowed by what he meant to the faithful as a person rather than just a ballplayer, with a personality as big as Fenway itself. The fantastic memories, carrying the team through the mid-part of the decade, the whole “Big Papi” mystique … great stuff, but it meant a lot more to the region than it ever did to the game as a whole. In the end, he only had a handful of great years, and if he’d never been touched by scandal of any degree, he still wouldn’t be a viable Hall of Fame candidate. Five or so great years is far from a qualifier.

*****

This whole ordeal underscores why I usually prefer not to get jerseys or t-shirts with specific player names on them. My exceptions to this rule will generally be either retired players who have retained clean reputations, or oddities/freakshows upon whom we will look back fondly no matter what their career accomplishments add up to. My favorite player growing up was Mike Greenwell, and I have a #39 replica jersey (the boring bluish gray roadie from the late 80s) – he's the clean retiree. The Sox have a left-handed Japanese pitcher who doesn't look at home plate when he throws the ball, thus I have a Hideki Okajima shirt – he's the oddity. As far as the freakshow example goes, I really wish I had a Rich Garces/El Guapo shirt - someday ... someday. I had a million chances to get one and blew it. (And please believe me when I say that I call Garces a “freakshow” in the most loving way possible. That dude was awesome.)

*****

Did the 2004 and 2007 Red Sox, with Ortiz and Ramirez leading the offense, in fact have their championship years tainted by this?

In the short term, possibly, but in the long run I don’t think anyone’s going to care too deeply (except Yankees fans, or maybe some St. Louis Cardinals fans - see below). In 2004, the team overcame the Curse of the Bambino and made the greatest comeback in the history of baseball, if not all of sports. It was the team full of “idiots”, with a caveman in center field, Pedro throwing nasty stuff with a greasy Chia Pet on his head, and Dave Roberts earning a reputation in a span of just a few weeks that will allow him to never have to pay for a meal or a drink in Boston for the rest of his life. 2004 will be remembered for the trade of Nomahh, the arrival of Orlando Cabrera and his 2,332,081 handshakes, and Doug Mientkiewiczwickiemienwickz trying to hold the final pitched ball of the World Series ransom from the team. There was something about a bloody sock, too, if I remember correctly …

These are just a few of the many reasons that 2004 will continue to warm the hearts of the Nation. Those memories will last. The Ortiz thing – ugly as it is – will pass, as soon as the next wave of names comes out, as soon as the next sports scandal steals away everyone’s attention. Or as soon as this year’s World Series ends, when the baseball world can celebrate their new World Champions (unless, of course, that team is the Red Sox … which, I’m not going to lie, would be awesome and downright preferable, thankyouverymuch).

As far as 2007 goes, we’ll remember it for Josh Beckett’s clutch performance against Cleveland in the ALCS. We’ll remember it as the year that Jacoby Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia showed baseball fans that the Sox don’t have to buy all their stars from the free-agent pool, and that they had a very solid farm system. It was the year that the Red Sox finally had a dominant closer who, quite possibly, had forgotten to take his medications for several months in a row – a guy who will be responsible for a generation of little league pitchers shifting their gaze, all crazy-eyed, off their chin and to home plate before throwing the ball. Mike Lowell, the grizzled veteran throw-in who came over with Beckett, earned chants of “RE-sign LOW-ell, DON’T sign A-Rod!” literally moments after the Series ended. It was the year Jon Lester came back from cancer to earn the title of “ace” starter. Diasuke Matsuzaka showed he was worth the ridiculous investment Theo made in the Japanese star (for the first couple of seasons, at least).

And, no offense to the Rockies, the Sox were clearly the better team throughout.

I wasn't naive enough to think that the team would be left untainted (well, maybe a little ...). There are about 100 names on “the list”, and quick math would indicate that every team could probably expect, on average, to have 3-4 players on it. So the fact that the Sox had names on the list is far from shocking. There may even be more - rumors about Nomar sprung up around the time of his SI cover, for instance. Johnny Damon was mentioned a couple of times. Jason Varitek, too, especially since he spent a significant amount of time recovering from injuries, coming back to play a grueling schedule at a physically demanding position. But until anyone learns otherwise, they're just unfortunate, hopefully misguided rumors.

What does shock and completely disappoint me, though, is who exactly it was that tested positive.

Nobody would have cared if Mark Bellhorn or Curt Leskanic was revealed to have tested positive. Given how strongly Ortiz seemed to take a stance about steroids (going so far as to say that those who test positive should be suspended for a full year rather than just 50 games), and given how upbeat and positive (and un-douchebaggy) he seemed to be, I thought he was clean. I really did.

So now, do I look at him as a cheater? Do I look at him as a liar like Palmeiro, who insisted with a finger-wag to Congress that he never used banned substances? Do I look at him as a guy who made a bad decision six years ago but has since come to his senses and has been clean ever since?

I don’t know. The news is too fresh, and there’s so much of the story left to be told.

Drama queens like the Boston Globe’s Dan Shaughnessy have already been quick to say that Ortiz’s "entire Red Sox career is a lie", but anyone who knows his work also knows that he loves being the first to jump headfirst off a bandwagon. Once someone attains a level of celebrity or fame, news outlets write obituaries in advance that may not run for years, just in case. When Michael Jackson died, half of what you read in the paper had been written before we learned the news. I get the feeling that people like Shaughnessy had already written this column a million times in his head. Now he finally gets a chance to commit it to public record.

But still, I want to trust in David Ortiz if for no other reason than he’s David Ortiz. He’s never shown himself to be anything other than what we see on the field – a big, loveable goof who loves his fans and enjoys playing ball. He’s an upbeat guy. He’s incredibly charitable with local foundations. He’s a good egg by all accounts, even if his personal lifestyle choices apparently aren’t quite as impressive. A-Rod has been unlikeable for a long time; Ortiz, not a day. This is where I just can’t shake my personal bias at the moment.

Much like Fox Mulder, I want to believe.

That said, I’m not excusing him based on personality alone. History tends to prove the cliché that where’s there’s smoke, there’s fire. I’m not trying to gloss over the news of the day while waiting for another, worse story about someone else to come along and capture everyone else’s attention.

I just think it’s unfair to completely condemn him so quickly, though, until we get more information.

As of the time I’m sitting at my desk writing this, we don’t know what he tested positive for. He may have taken something defined by Major League Baseball as a “performance enhancer” that was not a steroid. He may have taken something that was not banned by MLB at the time, so he didn’t think it was illegal. Again, that doesn’t make it right or justified, but until we know exactly what happened, we don’t know exactly what happened. Our imaginations, given the recent history of baseball’s fallen heroes, are now primed to fill in details that may not have any actual basis in reality.

What we have is an article that contains information that was supposed to have been destroyed years ago by MLB (but wasn’t) and that was supposed to be under court-ordered seal (but was leaked) and that was provided by anonymous lawyers. Meaning, the whole thing leaves more questions unanswered than not.

In fact, in what seems to me to be an odd turn in the story, Ortiz seemed surprised that his name was on the list in the first place.

From an article on Yahoo Sports:

"I’ve just been told that the report is true,” Ortiz said in a statement after contacting the union. “Based on the way I lived my life I’m surprised to learn I tested positive.”

Has he been telling everyone that he thinks players who test positive should be suspended for a year because he’s a hypocrite, or because he legitimately he thought he was playing clean? And if he tested positive, was he seriously never told of the result? Really?

I don’t know. Which is why I – why we – need more information before passing judgment. If it’s the former, it’ll make it a lot easier to say goodbye when Ortiz’s contract with the Red Sox expires, despite what he’s meant to the team for the past half-decade. If it’s the latter, then who takes the blame? The players’ union? Bud Selig?

In all, it’s disappointing, no matter how you look at it. But I don’t want to banish the guy to the darkest depths of public opinion before the whole story comes out, and I have to believe there’s a LOT more to this story that we just don’t know yet. With lawyers (anonymous and otherwise), the Times, a legion of sportswriters, bloggers, and radio hosts, and everyone else involved, though, we may never actually *get* the whole story, just parts laced with innuendo, which is a shame.

The difference between Ortiz and Alex Rodriguez, before we start drawing parallels too soon, is that A-Rod admitted to using steroids flat out. Before Ortiz is damned as a steroid user, we should keep in mind that we have not, as yet, had such an admission from Ortiz or acknowledgment from MLB. We don’t know what he’s been found to have taken.

Certainly, it would be refreshing if Ortiz held a press conference and just laid everything out without reserve, if in fact he knows more than he’s letting on.

Now, for the Yankees and Cardinals fans (not all of them, but there are some who will be very vocal on the issue) who would argue that the Red Sox championships are tainted and possibly somehow “shouldn’t count”, keep in mind the following:

St. Louis: you guys had Mark McGwire, who WAS a future HoF’er and a figure of near-legend following his pursuit of Roger Maris’ single-season homerun record. Had you won a World Series during his years playing under the arch, would you be so willing to relinquish your championship?

Yankees fans: Keep in mind that during the late 90s and early 00’s, your team was filled with the likes of Andy Petitte (who, to his credit, copped to using steroids, however briefly), Roger Clemens, Chuck Knoblauch, Kevin Brown, and David Justice, who were all publicly named in the Mitchell report. It could very easily be argued that the Yankees championships of the late 90s were tainted, also.

Also, we (the royal Nation ‘we’, not me personally, though I would have had I been there myself) gave Alex Rodriguez an unbelievably rude reception earlier this year when he made his first appearance at Fenway after admitting his PED use earlier this spring. Next time the Sox go to Yankee Stadium, have at it when Ortiz comes up. Fair is fair.

More important than singling out rooters of just those two teams, though, is something for fans of all teams to realize: as much as it sucks to have to admit it, every team is somehow going to be involved in this to some degree. Unless we find out that a team condoned steroid use or directly instructed players or team physicians/trainers to use PEDs (which would literally be the very worst, most unforgiveable news in the history of baseball), everyone seems equally guilty. Nobody is cleaner than anyone else.

The players who used PEDs all made ridiculous amounts of money playing a silly game that kids play because they love it, not because they get paid. The owners also make a ton of dough selling souvenirs and jerseys and bobbleheads. Controversy and scandal will do nothing but help ESPN’s ratings, bring a higher number of calls to sports talk radio, and increase page views for messageboards and blogs.

Given these, I think we can all agree on one thing, if nothing else, no matter our allegiances: the true losers here – as always – are the fans.

Braces update, the death of WBCN, a few more horror movies

2009-07-16T15:02:00.001-04:00

So apparently I have "small teeth", this according to my orthodontist.

I went for my monthly adjustment yesterday, and they applied a "torque wire", which is essentially used to change the angle of the teeth in relation to their positions in the jaw. My upper front teeth have always sort of slanted in toward my throat (not at an extreme angle, but enough to notice if you're looking at them), and though they've moved quite a bit since last October, there's still some work to do. But, looking into my mouth, he said he had a "predicament" - the gap between my top front four teeth has closed, but now there's a gap between my canines and my first pre-molars. So I have that going for me, which is nice.

Anyway, he took a few moments in considering the next step, and I'm no expert (obviously), but I think he punted in favor of working on another problem (the angle) first. I dunno. My "small teeth" may mean that the gaps will take longer to shift/fill, or it may mean that I'm not going to have a nice, tight row of choppers.

Either way, I'm extremely excited about the changes in my teeth so far, to the point that if I was told "that's it, we can't fix them any further" and the braces came off immediately, I'd be thrilled. I've always been incredibly self-conscious about the way they look, and now I can't wait to show them off once the metal comes out. (That's the "brace metal". I will never, *ever* lose "The Metal".)

This photo is about a month old, but you get a good idea of the changes in just a few months (click for a larger version):

And to think that I wasn't sure I'd make it after the first few days! My teeth were so screwy that the brackets didn't allow me to properly chew my food at first since I didn't have enough surface area touching to grind my food. I'm not sure how long I have left, but I'm so used to them at this point that I'm not sure I really care so long as they're doing their job. That's not to say I'm not looking forward to getting them off, of course. I can't wait to bite directly into an apple again.

****

I haven't always been the biggest fan of WBCN, but "The Rock of Boston" has always been part of my life as a music fan. No matter what city I find myself in, there's always a station broadcasting at or very near 104.1, but I'm always a little disappointed that these other stations aren't also WBCN.

In high school, WAAF was essentially a hair-metal station, and WZLX was only classic rock. The broadcasting range for WFNX didn't reach my house. But WBCN was steady and fairly eclectic, all things considered. They played a good amount of older stuff, some decent modern rock, and a good amount of local music, which other stations tended to avoid like the plague. They would broadcast live shows from the Paradise or the Orpheum, and I'd hoard blank audio cassettes to make sure I could capture great live sets or in-studio interviews as they happened.

When I moved to Boston in fall '92 to go to BU, I occasionally took a stroll over to the studio's home over in the Fenway area to try to gather autographs (that's how I met Henry Rollins once). I skipped a chemistry class one morning to see Father Guido Sarducci "exorcise" Fenway Park (and got one of only 104 limited edition t-shirts commemorating the event). I got to go inside the studio and hang out for about an hour once with Mark Parenteau while interviewing him for a journalism class. (This was while he was still a popular, well-enough respected DJ - before the unpleasantness. He was cool with me, though, and didn't even approach being inappropriate or weird with my relatively wide-eyed naive self.)

I wasn't particularly a fan of Howard Stern at the time, and I dreaded some of the DJs. The music gradually gravitated to generic playlists that every other modern rock station seemed to be using. But still, they had a legacy, and they still meant a lot to a lot of people, including me.

And now we're on the verge of losing them forever, as they'll be changing formats next month. I haven't lived in Boston now for about six years, but this still makes me sad.

It's a sign of the times, I guess. K-rock, Stern's pre-satellite NYC home-base, became a pop station a few months ago too. And for whatever degree of complaint I may have about these changes, it's not as if I actually listen to the radio either. I'm always listening to my iPod or using Pandora at this point. So people like me, we may not have intended to kill the patient, but we didn't do anything to save him, either.

****

Nicole and I had a discussion about my horror movie recommendations and she proposed a few of her own that I had overlooked:

"The Ring" - I really enjoyed it. The Japanese original is also very creepy, but as American remakes go, they did a really good job (supposing you can suspend your disbelief, of course). The sequel, however ... Oof. That was rough.

"It" - Even though they changed a significant aspect of the story's finale, the rest of the story holds up pretty well compared to the novel. I haven't seen this in a while, but the "head in the fridge" scene really shocked me considering this was made-for-TV. And Tim Curry as Pennywise? Yikes!

"The Shining" - Another Stephen King adaptation that's holds up to the reputation that precedes it. Kubrick, Nicholson ... yes, yes, yes. "Here's Johnny" and all that. But the story's the thing, right? And this is a good one.

"Drag Me to Hell" - Sam Raimi's latest was completely underrated and overlooked. There's not a lot of blood, and there isn't a high body count, but sometimes a simple tale with a slight gross-out factor can be very effective and a heckuva lot of fun. Case in point.

Horror movies for your consideration (also known as "a lazy blog entry")

2009-07-09T21:54:00.001-04:00

Previously, on Facebook, I updated my status to read:

Remember when Michael found the dead dove in the bag marked "dead dove" in his fridge on Arrested Development and said "Well, I don't know what *I* was expecting"? That's how I felt watching the "Friday the 13th" remake the other night.

A former co-worker responded that she had also just seen it, but that she was a relative newcomer to the "horror realm", and that she was "now addicted".

First of all, welcome to the club. Second, what took you so long? And third ...

There are so, so many really horrible "horror" movies out there, and it's really easy to get suckered into watching something awful at the expense of seeing something awesome. I put "horror" in quotes, because all too often these films are "boo! scary" (relying on someone jumping out of a closet at a predictable time, for instance) rather than actual suspenseful "oh crap, here it comes!" scary, or genuinely "wow, that's creepy and disturbing" scary. It's all to easy to forget that you're supposed to care about the characters you're watching in most modern horror movies (say, since the mid 1980s), since we've seen the plot devices time and again. The characters become disposable.

Fortunately, there are some truly excellent works in the genre that I heartily recommend. Mostly, this list is for my ex-coworker, but if you're looking for a good scare, maybe I can turn you on to something good (or vice-versa! I'll give almost anything a try, as long as I'm in the right mood).

Classic slasher horror:

The original "A Nightmare on Elm Street" is one of the greatest horror movies of all time, in my estimation. We didn't know Freddy Krueger's full backstory yet, so he was a mystery. Adding to the creepy factor is that, in this first film of the series, we never really get a good look at Freddy's face, just ominous shadows hidden in the dark under his hat. Like they say, sometimes what you don't see is scarier than what you do. The violence and bloodletting are unrelenting, and unlike the sequels, in which Freddy gets a clever (er, "clever" - it gets old, fast) one-liner in after every kill, the action is not played for dark comedy. Freddy's a bad-ass, he will do bad things to you without thinking twice. And that scene toward the beginning, when he comes down the alley and his arms are about 10 feet long? Still creeps me out to this day. Awesomeness.

I'd also recommend "Wes Craven's New Nightmare", which is, I suppose, considered part of the series ... but it isn't, really. Heather Langenkamp, the heroine of the first film, returns to play ... Heather Langenkamp, the actress who portrays the heroine of the first film. Something evil has taken shape in the "real" world (not the Freddy-verse), but it has taken the form of the fictional character Freddy Krueger. Robert Englund, who played Freddy, plays Robert Englund, the actor who played Freddy. (He also plays the new incarnation of Freddy, who isn't really Freddy.) It's a pretty clever twist on the series, and definitely worth a shot if you're up on the rest of the series.

The rest of the series is utterly forgettable, though. You could do worse, but if you skip them, you're not missing out on a whole lot.

Also directed by Wes Craven, and an obvious choice for this list, is "Scream", which also plays with the concept of a horror movie acknowledging the important role of other horror movies. Very fun, very witty, and very clever, especially on one's first viewing. The two sequels are dreadful, though, and should be avoided at all cost. Neve Campbell is also the covergirl for "Big in the 90s, Honest!" magazine (along with Bridget Fonda). Though highly recommended, one should skip this one until after having viewed other slasher films from the 80s, otherwise the jokes will fall flat or seem confusing.

The scariest slasher film ever is John Carpenter's "Halloween", proof that the boogeyman is very real and very scary. Though just everyone knows who Michael Myers is at this point, it would be shameful of me to ruin any aspect of this film for those few who haven't seen this work of near-perfection, so I won't comment on any specifics. The soundtrack, written by Carpenter himself, deserved an Oscar nomination for best supporting actor. It's that important to the film (and that good).

Again, forget the rest of the series even exists and only watch this one. With the lights off. (And the door locked.)

(A side note: one of the problems I have with the horror genre is perfectly exemplified in this film, awesome as it may be. The eternally cute and perky PJ Soles was 28 years old when she played Lynda, who was supposed to be a high school student in the film. And she looks it. The miscasting of actors who are significantly older than the characters they portray is a major pet peeve for me. I know it's because you can't actually have 17 year olds getting naked on-screen just before they're offed, but still ... if you're relying on nudity to sell a horror movie, the movie probably isn't too great to begin with. Not to be a prude, of course. I love boobs as much as the next guy. And sure, sometimes in the context of a horror movie it's fine and somewhat expected. But if you're relying on it ... ehh, maybe not so much.)

One more from John Carpenter: "The Thing". Kurt Russell plays a scientist isolated with a small band of others in a frozen base in Antarctica when a shape-shifting alien starts to take the appearance of those it has killed. Nowhere to go, and limited resources with which to defend themselves. More "what ... the ... hell ..." moments than just about any other movie I can remember. There's so much disturbing and grotesque imagery, but there's a reason for it, unlike the "guts for guts' sake" nonsense of "Saw" or "Hostel", for instance. ("Saw" and "Hostel" are utter wastes of time, for the record. Terrible stories, bad filmmaking, and shameful excuses for "horror" movies.) Great stuff.

Two overlooked gems by director Neil Marshall:

"The Descent" is the story of a group of female friends who decide to enjoy a "girls' night out" in the form of a caving expedition. Bad things happen. Very bad things. I'm talking "bloodthirsty mutants" bad, with a side order of claustrophobia. The concept of the "strong female battling the evil villain" is not a new one, but it plays out in a fairly original and compelling way, and the story (despite the tacked-on Hollywood ending) is well crafted and intriguing. Not all of the characters are as sympathetic as you think they might be, and each has specific (and well-founded) motivations to justify their actions, unfortunate as they may occasionally turn out.

Also, and in all seriousness, to see this film properly you need to turn the lights off completely. So much of the action takes place in the dark that room lighting may make it difficult to see everything that's going on on the screen. You'll thank me later, I promise (and for once, I swear there's no "gotcha, the joke's on you" punchline. Not only is the subject matter dark, so is the actual film. They're in a cave, dude. Go with me on this.)

"Dog Soldiers" is the best werewolf movie since "An American Werewolf in London". It's also a pretty solid war movie, since it's about a group of British soldiers on a training mission in Scotland who find themselves trapped in a semi-abandoned house when the fit hits the shan. There's a fair amount of gallows humor, and plenty of blood and guts for the gore crowd. I didn't think about it until well after I'd seen the movie, but one of the aspects I really appreciated about this film is that it plays to an audience of adults so well because there are no dumb teenagers doing dumb teenage things and making dumb teenage mistakes in it. You've got hardnosed, tough-as-nails soldiers with a supply of weapons at their disposal, and they're still up shit creek. And hey, one of the characters is named Bruce Campbell, a nod to the man himself. Considering it's got no known "name" actors, a relatively low budget, and a virtually no expectations to live up to, I think it really stands up very well to many of its contemporaries. Also, I'm sure you can find a copy on DVD for less than $5 if you look hard enough. ($5 well spent.)

"28 Days Later" / "28 Weeks Later"
Danny Boyle made a handful of really solid movies before "Slumdog Millionaire", and one of them re-invented zombie films as we know them. "28 Days Later" is a personal favorite (as in "personal top 10 favorite movies of all time" favorite), redefining unrelenting horror in just less than two hours. Boyle insists that the unleashed hordes are "infected", not zombies, but that's all semantics. You get bitten, you turn. That's a zombie movie to me.

Nobody is safe. People you expect to stick around a while? Maybe you shouldn't get too attached to them. People you think you can trust? Perhaps that priest isn't all he's cracked up to be. Think there's nothing hiding around the corner? Don't be so sure. Because you're surrounded, and you're going to have to run. And you'll never be able to stop running or let your guard down, even if you're able to make it to the military outpost that's rumored to exist ...

The sequel, though not directed by Boyle, is also quite strong. The strength of the this film is that it doesn't try to live up to its predecessor (it realizes it would be an almost impossible task), instead taking the story of the outbreak in an entirely new direction. In the first film, you see the very early events that lead to the outbreak, but you're thrust into the story not entirely sure of what happened (though you do, in fact, know it happened to the entirety of London, if not all of England, as a result of science-gone-wrong, 28 days ago). In this film, you see the outbreak as it happens, from "patient zero" right through the re-destruction of London. The first scene, set at the same time but completely separate from the events of the first movie, sets the tone perfectly (and heartbreakingly), and asks you, the viewer, "well, what would YOU do in that situation?"

It's fair to say that you don't need to see "28 Days Later" prior to seeing "28 Weeks Later", but I'd strongly suggest it, just to be safe.

I'm a sucker for zombie movies, I'll be the first to admit. Any fan of the genre will wholeheartedly also recommend "Dawn of the Dead" (the Romero original is a classic, of course, and the 2004 remake by Zack "Watchmen/300" Snyder is surprisingly good - to this day, I think the opening credits are masterful) and the playful-yet-still-zombieriffic "Shaun of the Dead" (which is enjoyable enough on its own, but even better if you're familiar with the films that "Shaun" was influenced by).

You may be asking yourself, "where are the vampires?" I omit them, simply because I can't recall seeing any truly awesome/scary movies with vampires as the protagonists. "Blade" ain't horror. I refuse to watch whiny emo "Twilight" crap. It ain't horror, either. "Interview With The Vampire" wasn't scary.

That's not to say there aren't great vampire stories - they're just not horror the way I define it. I recently watched "Let The Right One In", which was an absolutely gorgeous gem of a movie (soon to be ruined with an American re-make!), and which deserves its own post. It was fantastic. And to my surprise, I've found "True Blood" to be a lot of fun, too. I didn't expect to like it at first, and now I can't wait for new episodes.

So there you go ... a handful of slasher flicks, some cool walking dead films, werewolves, a shapeshifter, and hungry cave mutants. A solid start, I think, for any horror newbie. Enjoy!

On Michael Jackson's passing

2009-06-29T16:31:00.003-04:00

Just got back from Texas, and I have to go through my photos before posting a summary of the trip.

While I was out of town, though, the Michael Jackson thing happened. Specifically, I was in Woodsboro, Texas, at my wife's paternal grandmother's house, where there is no cable TV and regular television reception included three Spanish-language channels, a Fox affiliate, and an ABC affiliate. My cell-phone reception was spotty at best, but using it to check my friends' Facebook updates and various news feeds were the only contact I had to what was going on in the rest of the world.

What I encountered that afternoon is how I expect word of the impending zombie outbreak to spread - lots of "did anyone else see on the news ..." and "did I hear right that ..." and "so and so is reporting ..." type stuff. Pieces of information, but nothing definitive, and all coming from various sources.

Sure enough, when ABC's national news began, the news I had heard literally ten minutes before was confirmed. Michael Jackson had, indeed, died at age 50.

I don't know exactly how I feel about it, to be honest. Yes, I had my Michael Jackson phase when I was about seven years old. By about nine years old, I think I'd outgrown it. After the countless headlines and allegations that followed in the succeeding years, I thought most of America had, too - until his death, that is. Suddenly, an outpouring of affectionate, semi-revisionist history grew into a robust outpouring of what could possibly pass as sadness, but I'm not sure.

I find it odd that so many celebrities (and semi-celebrities - like Arsenio Hall) were suddenly running toward any video camera in their vicinities to talk about how great Michael Jackson was, and what a great loss his death was, when in the years preceding Jackson seemed like such a toxic persona with whom to be associated. It didn't seem like anyone wanted to be part of Michael Jackson when his public stock was down, but now that he was gone ... all aboard!

Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the way it seemed. The reactions I've seen from so many seems incredibly fake. It seems like people are saying what they're expected to say when any famous person dies, but I don't get the sense that anyone feels like there's been a real loss with Jackson's death - probably because Jackson didn't have, as far as I can tell, real friends or real relationships with anyone outside of his handlers. It's hard to get emotional at the death of someone about whom so little is actually known personally. I feel like people would have been just as emotional if asked how they felt about Beethoven's death in the 1820s. "Yeah, it's really sad, he was very influential ..." But those words ring incredibly empty given the magnitude of his accomplishments, and how people *should* be reacting, I think.

As for the dude himself, I kinda just feel sorry for him. On one hand, the media made him into a musical Howard Hughes; on the other, he didn't do himself any favors with the decisions he made. He undoubtedly surrounded himself with people who wanted only to take advantage of him and give him bad advice, but ultimately he was responsible for his own actions and decisions. He could/should have just walked away from it all and lived by his own "leave me alone" credo.

Was he a musical genius? I don't think so. His (terrific) material in the Jackson Five was written by others. As far as "Thriller" goes as an album and phenomenon, well ... right place, right time. MTV was an emerging "big deal", and Jackson propelled the artform of the music video into the stratosphere. "Thriller" itself is a fantastic song and still my favorite video of all time. "Beat It" crossed genres thanks to Eddie Van Halen and the more aggressive rock style. But there were some forgettable tracks, too, and the albums that followed weren't nearly as good as far as I'm concerned (though I'll be the first to admit that my musical tastes changed rapidly in the mid/late 1980s).

A talented guy? No doubt. The greatest entertainer in history? Not to me.

But to each his own. All I know is this: the media that created the monster that became Jacksonmania and helped turn the musician into a mysterious, unfortunate man-child who lived under constant public scrutiny (the oxygen chamber! the plastic surgery!) and who for the longest time hadn't been in the public eye for his actual talents but for the side-show that was his private life has now, once again, descended into a feeding frenzy with Jackson at the center of it all. Even in death, the guy doesn't seem to have earned any dignity.

The ultimate musical recommendation?

2009-06-19T14:50:00.001-04:00

Virginia vacation recap

2009-06-08T12:15:00.001-04:00

Very much in need of getting away for a few days, Nicole and I drove to Virginia and had a wonderful vacation visiting several historic sights, one water park, and one amusement park.

I have to admit that I hardly feel qualified to attempt to reproduce this histories of the locations and people we learned about during our trip, so I'm not going to try. Understand, though, that we took a week to explore the region and easily could have spent much more time soaking everything in. Though I certainly became no expert in Revolutionary history in this short amount of time, I do feel that I gained a terrific perspective on the era that I'm sure I never had previously. Though it will likely prove to be just a passing phase, I currently feel inspired and compelled to read about and watch anything related to the subject (the day after we returned home, for example, we watched Ken Burns' three-hour PBS movie about Thomas Jefferson).

Our first stop was in Alexandria, Virginia, where we visited Mount Vernon, George Washington's home (PHOTOS HERE). The line for the tour of the home grew very quickly, and we were happy we'd decided to get there in time for the grounds to open. Our time waiting in line for the tour inside was mercifully short; by the time we were done, the line had grown to two or three times the size of the one we were in.

Unfortunately, nobody is allowed to take photos inside the building.

The most amazing sight of the entire trip, to me, was the view from the rear of the house (essentially Washington's back yard). The Potomac stretches out forever, and the view is spectacular (though this photo does it absolutely no justice). The grounds are gorgeous, and we had a warm, sunny day to explore them. Washington found sanctuary here, and it's easy to see why. That he would leave the life he had here to become our first President, which he didn't really want to do in the first place, is a testament to his character. Given the choice, I can't say I wouldn't have just stayed at Mount Vernon and enjoyed life such as it was at the time.

The next day, we drove to Charlottesville and visited Monticello, Thomas Jefferson's home (PHOTOS HERE). Our tour guide was an author named Rick Britton, who's written a book about Jefferson ("Jefferson: A Monticello Sampler") and clearly knew the history of Jefferson and Monticello in incredible depth and with remarkable clarity. He was fantastic, and his knowledge definitely helped put many of the items inside the home into better perspective. As with Mount Vernon, no photos were allowed inside the residence.

One of the most memorable rooms in the house is Jefferson's study. Though most of the books on display are "of the era" and not Jefferson's personal items, some of the books are in fact originals. Jefferson was a voracious reader, and he collected volumes in their original languages, so as not to lose meaning in translation. His collection became the foundation upon which the Library of Congress has been built.

We had some time left over after touring Monticello, so drove a couple of miles to Ashlawn, home of James Monroe, fifth President of the United States (PHOTOS HERE). It's not as impressive (or historically important, or crowded with tourists) as Mount Vernon or Monticello, but still ... in two days, we'd managed to see the homes of three of the first five US Presidents (and, morbidly, their death beds).

Out next step was Jamestown, Virginia, site of the first permanent English settlement in what would become the United States (PHOTOS HERE). I kept calling it Jonestown and had to keep correcting myself, though the original colonists only had marginally better luck surviving than those in Jim Jones' cult. The site we visited was a reconstruction of the original settlement; nothing in the site itself is original. The best feature on the grounds though is the one that didn't allow photography: there's a wonderful museum located in the visitor's center that displays many original artifacts of the era and puts the settlement into a better historical perspective. We spent more time inside the museum than we did outside looking at the ships and other reproductions.

The bulk of our time was spent in Historic Williamsburg, Virginia (PHOTOS HERE). If you're ever looking for a great vacation destination, I can't recommend it enough. We had an absolutely wonderful time, and it's safe to say I learned more about the events leading up to the Revolution in just a few days in person than I ever did in history classes throughout my scholastic years. I vaguely remembered something about the House of Burgesses from high school history classes, for instance, but now that I've actually been into the same room in the Capitol Building in which
Thomas Jefferson and Patrick Henry (among others) debated the course of
the colonies' fate, a trip to the library is in order.

It's impossible to take a trip like this and not find some sort of inspiration to learn more about the figures that freed the colonies from England. Everyone knows about Thomas Jefferson, but who really remembers Peyton Randolph (described by Jefferson as "large and inert")? After this trip, I can't wait to learn more.

(We ate like kings, too. The seafood fricasse I ate at Christiana Campbell's, which reportedly was one of George Washington's favorite restaurants when he visited Williamsburg, was one of the greatest meals I've ever eaten. Just sayin'. If you ever visit Williamsburg, make sure to make reservations here, because it's well worth it.)

I also got my rollercoaster fix in at Busch Gardens (PHOTOS HERE), taking about 15 rides total. I don't know if was the economy or the timing of our visit (a Thursday in late May), but the most we ever had to wait for a ride was two minutes because the park wasn't very full at all. The Griffon, with it's 90-degree plunge at 71 mph was fantastic, but my favorite was Apollo's Chariot (better known as the ride upon which Fabio and a goose had an unfortunate encounter). I went on each four times.

And that's what I did on my summer vacation.

Still alive and kicking

2009-06-04T12:38:00.001-04:00

Hey all,

Long time no see, huh?

Nicole and I are back from a week-long expedition to Virginia, where we visited Mount Vernon, Monticello, Ashland, Colonial Williamsburg, and (of course) Busch Gardens. I'll be sorting through and posting pictures shortly.

In addition, if all the pieces fall together correctly, I'll also have some new live bootlegs posted shortly. "New" in the sense that I haven't posted them before - most of them are in the 10-15 years old category, datewise. Still, good stuff nonetheless.

Just checking in!

On a much, much lighter note ...

2009-04-29T00:45:00.001-04:00

Proof positive that I wasted my younger years, times two:

Journey's "Separate Ways", as performed by Recess (I've watched this at least two dozen times by now, all the way through):

Iron Maiden's "The Trooper", as performed by Gauchos:

The greatest description for an episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" in history:

The latest on Joey (and it isn't good)

2009-04-27T23:27:00.001-04:00

Everything was so different a week ago ... hrmph.

Nicole and I had been talking about what we wanted to do with/for Joey given his recent health issues, and we had pretty much decided that Joey deserved a chance to stay with us as long as possible, even if it meant losing a leg. Nicole had done some on-line research and discovered that dogs Joey's size, and with his energy level, actually bounce back pretty well from amputation. We figured that, though it would be difficult for all three of us, at least we'd be able to redefine "normal". He'd have to learn how to walk again, of course, and the winters would be difficult, as walking a three-legged dog in the snow and ice would take some practice. And who knows how he'd handle stairs. For that matter, who knows how he'd handle the apartment itself? We didn't know exactly how much it would cost, but the prospect of having Joey around for another couple of years (provided the cancer didn't spread) made it an attractive possibility.

On Saturday afternoon, just as we were about to eat lunch (timing being everything ...), I got a call from Dr. Matalon. Everything changed. Unfortunately, though it was no surprise at all, the tests came back positive for canine osteosarcoma. Bone cancer. The link provided pretty much nails everything Joey is experiencing.

The development of the cancer in Joey is his Proximal Humerus (except on the left, as opposed to the illustration above). It is an aggressive cancer. The bone is very, very weak.

In humans, doctors try to cure the cancer. In dogs, the goal is merely to alleviate the pain.

The best medical option, we were told, would be amputation of the leg, with blood-work and urine testing, along with follow-up chest scans to see if the cancer had spread to the lungs, and further x-rays and scans (up to three) to track the viability of his other limbs. Then, radiology treatments.

Who knows how much pain Joey would actually be in, or if the treatments would work well? Or at all? The cancer could spread. Would it? Had it already?

But it just got worse.

Dr. Matalon broke the sobering news to me first, and I put Nicole on the phone to speak to him after I was done, for two reasons, really: I didn't want to misinterpret his words and give Nicole the wrong information. I tend to do this sort of thing. Ask me to read a map, and I'll send us the wrong way every time even though I think I'm giving the right directions. Second of all, and somewhat selfishly, I suppose: I didn't want to be the one to break the news. I'd already explained the first visit, the fears that Dr. M had, the possibility of amputation ... I just didn't have the heart to break hers for the second time.

The sad fact of the matter is that, even with amputation and radiation therapy, we would not gain a significant amount of time with Joey. We'd maybe prolong his life by 6-9 months, at best.

Six to nine months.

Six to nine months of him learning how to walk again, of not being able to play with his tennis balls or jump after soap bubbles, of losing his appetite. Six to nine months of our own prolonged agony, watching our poor friend slowly die before our eyes, and six to nine months of regretting that our time was running out.

We decided that we couldn't do that to him, and sometime in the relatively near future we're going to have him euthanized. It's going to kill us to do it, and we've shed so many tears already, but it doesn't really even feel like there's a choice to be made. This is the only humane way we can handle this. I just don't want my friend to be in pain.

Making things worse (even worse still! What's left? Am I going to discover that he's a Yankees fan and a neo-con, too?) is that Nicole's on a business trip this week, and the week after next. She doesn't get the time she wants to spend with him before the end comes, though we don't exactly know when that will be yet.

Joey knows she's not here, too. At least, I think he knows. A couple of times he's wandered over to the front door, as if to check if anyone's coming through it. I've been trying to comfort him and keep him company, but everything feels weird.

It's not going to feel better for a while, either.

Joey, my dog, is very sick.

2009-04-23T11:26:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was a rough, rough day.

Backing up a bit:

About two months ago I brought Joey up to the Morristown Animal Hospital for his yearly check-up so he could get his blood test, vaccinations, etc. All seemed well, but a couple of days later we got a call that his blood tests had come back positive for Lyme disease. No surprise, in a way ... our neighborhood is full of trees and bushes, and Joey likes to "dive in" head first when finding a place to pee. I'd pulled deer ticks off of him plenty of times, and one finally managed to get him with the disease. We put him on antibiotics for a month, with the expectation that he'd push through and get better.

He'd been asymptomatic, which is why we're not sure when, exactly, he got the disease. Without any warning signs, it was simply good fortune that his check-up came at an opportune time to discover the illness.

Other than the Lyme disease, though, he seemed to be doing pretty well for a middle-aged dog. He had gained an appropriate amount of weight since we adopted him a year ago, and his behavior since the holidays (when he bit my father in law's hand and caused Nicole to have a late-night meltdown over his raucous, food-grabbing behavior) had been exemplary. He'd stopped barking at the trash can every night and, with the exception of picking up a shoe with his mouth now and then, had started to leave items in the apartment alone.

Since January, Joey has been the dog we'd hoped he'd be when we adopted him.

Not long after he started taking his Lyme disease medication, he started to limp. He favored his front left paw, so I took a look at it and didn't find any cuts or bruises. When I touched/squeezed his leg, from his paw up to his shoulder, he never winced or squealed or pulled away, so he never appeared to be in any pain.

We brought him up to the vet again, and he had an x-ray of his shoulder taken. It didn't show any breaks or damage, so soft-tissue damage was suspected. Also, one of the effects of Lyme disease, as I understand it, is joint stiffness. I figured that might be part of the cause for his limp.

He went on anti-inflammatory/pain medications, and bounced back wonderfully. Literally the next day he was fine - as if nothing had happened. Two hundred dollars wasted, we though. What a faker!

This past Friday, the limp returned. We thought we'd let the weekend pass to see if it cleared up on its own, given how quickly he seemed to recover the last time he had it. Nicole needed the car for work on Monday, so I couldn't schedule the appointment for that day, and we decided to schedule for Tuesday. On Monday, he actually seemed a little better so I didn't schedule, giving it one more day just in case. By Tuesday afternoon, though, it was clear he needed to be seen again, so I scheduled an appointment for yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon.

He still didn't react to being touched on the left leg, but Nicole and I could both tell just by feeling him that something was wrong with his left shoulder. Compared to the right shoulder, it seemed "enlarged", and the bone almost seemed to be protruding in a way. His limp on Tuesday night was very pronounced, and just watching him move from the living room to the kitchen was painful. At one point, I sat down next to him on the floor and he just put his face in my lap, as if to say "I'm hurt. What's wrong?"

When I brought Joey up to Dr. Matalon's office to be seen again, Dr. Matalon immediately said "I don't like the way his leg looks". He said there was swelling, and he was concerned that there "might be a tumor". The first step, he said, would be to take another x-ray. Go for it, I told him. Do what you need to do.

They had to give Joey a mild sedative to move his legs into the proper position; long story short, in order to get a clear view of just one shoulder, a dog's legs have to be moved just-so, otherwise the shoulders overlap and you can't get a clear view. Given the swelling, the possibility of pain, and the fact that he'd likely be fidgety in trying to avoid discomfort, they put him under for a while.

I waited in the exam room while they took him for the x-ray. For those who know part of this story already, this is when I started posting updates on Facebook via my cell phone.

I waited for what seemed like an eternity, and Dr. Matalon came into the exam room with the new x-ray. The bone density, he said, had changed from the last x-ray.

(Given how my thoughts are swimming around in my head right now, the following may not exactly be chronologically in order, and the facts are as I remember them - I might have gotten some parts mixed up).

Basically, the area in his shoulder seemed to be losing strength. His bone density was apparently worse than it was in the first x-ray (my loose interpretation of the discussion - not Dr. M's exact words), and since Joey was already sedated, I was asked if I would mind if they did a bone biopsy to check for cancer.

I would have been less surprised if Dr. Matalon had come into the office and hit me in the knee with a tire iron. Not expecting the C-word, to say the least.

But of course ... do what you need to do.

Instead of waiting in the exam room, I went to the lobby and hung out there for a while. When he was done, Dr. Matalon came out to let me know what was going on. Joey needed some time to awaken from the sedative and wasn't ready to leave just yet.

My first question was about his Lyme disease. As it turns out, the timing of the Lyme disease and his current problems were coincidental and completely independent of each other. There was nothing we could have done to prevent his current condition. It's a cold comfort knowing this, but at least I won't have any retrospective regret hanging over me regarding our care of the big guy.

They were able to remove a sample very easily, because the bone was so weakened. Test results might be available tomorrow (Friday), but it could take a couple of days, too. When the results come back, they'll be able to determine the best course of action. If the tests come back positively for cancer, they'll need to do chest scans to determine how far the disease has spread.

There's a possibility that Joey might, at the least, have to have his front left leg amputated. His bone is so brittle, I was told, that it could break if we let Joey play unsupervised. One of the benefits of living in an apartment without our own yard, though, is that Joey's always here under our watch.

In theory we'll need to cut our walks short, though this morning I didn't have the heart, and I brought him for his "long walk" all the way around our neighborhood. He'd been trying to get me to do this for days, but I knew he wouldn't make it all the way around if we'd tried over the weekend. He's been prescribed the same painkiller/anti-inflammatory, and he took his first dosage last night. This morning, he was full of the same kind of energy he used to have. When I asked him if he wanted to go out for a walk, he got very excited and started running around the apartment - I had to stop him, because one bad jump and the bone could give way ... But we got outside, and though I knew I shouldn't do it, I let him walk as much as he wanted to. It was the most joyful I'd seen him in a week, and I didn't want to deprive him of this little bit of happiness.

As I write this, he's resting on the dog bed behind my desk chair. My blonde dog's left shoulder is shaved and I can see the black stitches in his pink skin, as if he's got some awful medical crop circle formation in his fur. He's in pain, but he doesn't know, because it's masked by the meds. His bone is weak, and he might have cancer that could result in an amputation.

How is it fair that this poor dog managed to escape whatever unfortunate past he experienced for seven years before being adopted into a loving apartment last February, learning to change his behavior and becoming an absolutely terrific pet and great friend along the way, only to face amputation as what could potentially be a "best case scenario"?

We have a lot of big questions coming up, including the obvious one that I can't even bring myself to write about just yet ...

This whole thing sucks. I've cried more in the last 24 hours than I have in I don't even know how long. I'm hoping against hope that the test results come back with some unexpected optimistic twist, but I know it's unlikely.

Star Wars - awesome links

2009-04-02T09:29:00.001-04:00

Despite the awful decisions a certain Mr. Lucas has made with his franchise over the past decade-plus (though I admit to liking half of Episode II and most of Episode III), the franchise lives on near and dear to my heart. I still read almost any Star Wars-related article with at least a passing interest, and sprinkle Star Wars quotes into daily life at an alarming pace. (Alarming to Nicole, at least. I'm totally fine with it.)

There's been some great stuff recently, too. Great in a weird sort of way.

If you're so inclined, check out the following:

First of all, a mash-up of the original trilogy and the opening credits to the TV show "Dallas"

Next up, "Star Wars as Classic Art" - via SomethingAwful.com

A few highlites:

More fine art: an artist named Brandon Bird.

I only discovered him the other day via a post (on Boing Boing maybe? Kotaku? I don't remember). Totally unexpected ("Anguish", starring Michael Landon and a squid), weird ("Bam Thwop", with J. Jonah Jamison and Spiderman having a pillow fight), and wonderful ("King of the Cage", featuring Abraham Lincoln, streetfighter). Poke around for a TON of material based on Law and Order (someday soon, I *will* own his "Crimefighters" t-shirt), and some bizarre Phillip Seymour Hoffman art ("I Am The Night" - Happy Halloween!). Oh, and "The Last Supper", starring James Woods and Robocop. No, really. James Woods and Robocop.

As far Star Wars (I'd post the pictures directly, but he's cleverly cut them up so that I can't embed the images in their entirety, except for the last one):

"Man of Tomorrow" (Rod Stewart as a Stormtrooper)
"Husky Ne'er-do-Well" (Jabba the Hutt)

"No One Wants to Play Sega With Harrison Ford" (click for full-sized version)

Yup. I don't know where the inspiration comes from for these, but clearly his muse has never visited my desk.

Not good enough for you? The best has been saved for last:

It started yesterday as an April Fools Day joke, but apparently demand has been so great that the folks at ThinkGeek are going to see if this is actually a viable product. It's a Taun Taun sleeping bag!

As you can see, the zipper is a lightsaber, just like Han Solo used to gut the beast in "Empire". The bag is lined with an intestine pattern, and the head is a built-in pillow. Effing genius. Why does this not already exist?

The Time I Met Paul Westerberg

2009-03-26T13:21:00.001-04:00

If you're reading this via sonicplague.com, you can stream the entire show by pressing play in the upper right hand corner. If you're reading this via Facebook or blogger.com, you can stream the entire show ... by reading it via sonicplague.com. :)

My goal has certainly never been to stalk or hunt down anyone with any level of fame simply for the sake of brushing up against celebrity (not since I've been an "adult", anyway). I try not to get too starstruck, but sometimes it's the nature of the beast, and if given the opportunity to shake a hand or get an autograph, I'll sacrifice the time and effort if even to just say hello and thanks.

As a kid, it was mostly baseball players at card shows. Some players were great (anyone remember Jody Reed?), others ... not so much. Roger Clemens was OK back then (I must have been 15 years old when I met him), but a certain Hall of Fame left-fielder for the Red Sox (whose name rhymes with "Schmed Frilliams", but I'm not going to name names) was someone slightly less than warm and friendly.

Around the time of my freshman year at BU, a college friend of mine (who will remain nameless, but she knows who she is) had a car ... long story short, the carfull of us driving around the eastern half of the state were KIDNAPPED and - I kid you not - driven to visit the homes of each of the New Kids On The Block. Not one of my prouder moments, but there's no denying it happened, though in fairness I had absolutely no say in the matter. Her devious plan was unrevealed until we got to the first house, and then there was no turning back ...

During my time in Boston, I was also able to take advantage of the many in-store appearances at what was then Tower Records. I got to meet Lou Reed (who had a surprisingly weak handshake), Rob Zombie (an incredibly nice guy), and Brian May (even nicer!) when he opened for Guns N' Roses at the old Boston Garden. Somewhere in my mom's basement is a cardboard longbox (remember those?) signed by Dinosaur Jr (J Mascis did not seem to want to be there, and signed all of his autographs "J".) I saw live performances by Belly, Velocity Girl, and many others.

Thanks to a snafu with their fan-club, I went backstage to meet the Black Crowes in Connecticut - a story worthy of its own post sometime soon.

Nothing can beat the story of the time I met Bruce Campbell in October 2001, of course - a couple of years later, I ended up marrying the woman I fatefully ended up standing next to in line. Running a distant second, I think, would be the time I met Paul Westerberg at an in-store appearance to promote his album "Stereo" at the Virgin Megastore on Newbury Street in Boston. No doubt, it was my favorite musician-moment.

I was working in Davis Square in Somerville at the time, and Paul was scheduled to perform that evening at about 7 p.m. and sign afterwards. I hopped on the Red Line immediately after leaving the office at 5 and arrived at the store to find a sizable crowd gathered on the first floor, winding through the aisles of new releases and books in front of the stage that had been set up. We were all there pretty early, and we knew we'd be waiting a while for Paul to arrive.

I found a couple of friends - members of the Boston-based band AM Stereo (you've never heard of them, which is a shame - they're one of my favorites) - toward the middle of the room and chatted with them for a while. They weren't the only musicians in the crowd, though. Looking around, it was a virtual who's who of the local indie scene. I didn't know everyone personally, but I'd been going to local shows at TTs, The Middle East, the Abbey Lounge, etc. enough to recognize faces. Some big names, too. I remember seeing Juliana Hatfield among others.

While everyone was waiting for the scheduled appearance, security flushed everyone outside to wait in a "proper" line (so as not to interfere with actual shoppers). Many who had been waiting even longer than me were disappointed and milled around for a while, to see if the staff was serious about moving all non-customers along, figuring that if they lingered, maybe security would just give up and they'd be allowed to just stay where they were. Being the unfun stickler for the rules that I am, I headed for the door and ended up about ten people deep in the newly formed queue. A good move - they were serious about moving people out, and soon the line stretched outside the building.

When we were finally let back into the building for the performance, the CD displays had been rearranged, and the aisles that had been our temporary homes minutes earlier had taken on a new snaking form. A handful of velvet ropes also guided people toward the stage. The AM Stereo guys and I had to make a decision once we got inside - which aisle to walk down. In a rare moment of pure, absolute, unqualified luck, I led us to the one that led directly in front of the stage - literally two feet from the microphone Paul would use, right in front of his monitors. Dead center.

I wasn't the first to arrive for the show, but now I was front row center. As much as I loved (and still love) The Replacements, I knew I couldn't possibly be the "biggest fan" there - they broke up while I was still in High School, and I'd never seen any of their legendary live performances. I'd gotten into the 'Mats thanks to the video for "I'll Be You" on MTV's "120 Minutes". I bought "Don't Tell A Soul" on cassette as soon as I could find a copy. I'm willing to bet I was the only member of my graduating high school class who owned that record when it came out. I still have an old 1989 tour t-shirt that I picked out of a bargain bin at Newbury Comics during one of my family's trips to Boston to see a Red Sox game during my high school years (we'd get into town early, and if we could convince my parents, we'd all walk over to Newbury Street so I could visit the shop).

I filled in the rest of the Replacements catelog in the years I left high school in Worcester and started my life as a student at BU. I didn't have a lot of money; though I had plenty of new friends, I certainly didn't have anything resembling a "social life". I never dated, never drank, never wanted to spend what little money I had on going to shitty clubs that played shitty music just for the sake of being "social". The money I spent was usually in Kenmore Square, at Nuggets or Planet Records. Cheap used CDs were less than ten bucks (usually only six), and I started my collection of must-have records there.

"Tim". "Let It Be". "All Shook Down". Paul's two excellent contributions to the "Singles" soundtrack. By that point, I understood why his music was considered "important". It was a big deal to so many people, and now me too.

Front row center.

I didn't deserve to be in that spot. I knew it then, and I know it now. But there I was ...

In an odd sort of way, I faced a dilemma - not only did I know I didn't deserve to be there, I also wanted to tape the show.

This performance occurred during a wonderful phase of my life in which I'd taken to recording shows on my minidisc player. I loved the sound of bootlegged live shows, but at that time they were difficult to track down, and expensive besides. Peer-to-peer file sharing was a different beast, at that point, primarily focusing on pirated CDs. I liked actually owning CDs, having the liner notes, the physical item to put on a shelf ... P2P files were lesser quality and didn't appeal to me nearly as much (plus, I had a dial-up modem with a crummy download speed, which didn't help matters). Bit torrent didn't exist yet. If you wanted a live recording, you had to buy an "import" CD from a local used record shop for a ridiculous price, or trade by searching for other collectors' lists on-line and sending stuff back and forth via snail-mail.

So I bought the minidisc player and the digital microphone and started my own collection (which turned out to be quite good, as far as I'm concerned).

And there I was, gear in hand, desperately wanting to record the show ... but what to do? Give up the spot? Forget about recording?

The hell with it. I'd just take my chances. The worst that could happen is that Paul or security or someone would tell me to put my stuff away. When Paul came through the door, wearing a spray-painted suit and smelling like stinky cigars, I took out the microphone, slid the "record" button over, and crossed my fingers.

I held the microphone with my sweaty-from-nerves right hand, pinned to my chest as if it would somehow not be noticable, knowing full well that it was clear as day. At that point, I was hoping that I'd only pick up the music, not my nervously pounding heartbeat.

Paul went on stage and grabbed his guitar, took a pick off the mic stand, and started playing.

Paul played sixteen songs that evening with no backing band. Just him and a guitar. Some solo, some stuff by the 'Mats. The audience would have listened to him read the phone book. He was mesmerizing, even when he mixed up the words to "Skyway".

And I was there, right in front of him. Undeservingly. Brazenly taking more than he was giving, not quite shoving my microphone in his face, but not exactly being subtle about it either.

Never once did he say anything about my recording his performance. Security never came up to me. The only downside to this point was that, as closest to the stage, I was the furthest from the start of the autograph line.

I got into yet another line after Paul left the stage and waited. And waited. And waited. I hadn't eaten anything since lunch and was tired and hungry, and it was pressing close to 10:30 by the time I got to Paul at his table. He still smelled of cigar, and he had a pile of spent Sharpies at his side. He'd had a long evening, too, but to his great credit he stayed to sign for everyone who wanted to wait.

The AM Stereo guys, still hanging out with me, gave him a copy of the CD single they'd recorded (entitled "Bob Stinson's Dead", about the Replacement's old guitar player). I don't know what I said, if anything (I knew I wouldn't be able to say anything he hadn't heard a million times before). As far as I'm concerned, for the sake of preserving what I perceive to have been a very fond memory, I simply said "thank you" and moved along.

And then Paul's "handler" approached me. Uh oh.

"I saw you up front. You recorded the show?"

Gulp. "Yep."

"I'm Paul's manager."

Double gulp.

"We're trying to collect as much stuff as we can from these in-store performances. Do you think you might be able to send me a copy?"

YES, YES, and YES! He didn't care that I'd taped it - in fact, he was happy that I had! He gave me his business card (I think I kept it - it's probably somewhere in the bottom of a box somewhere in my storage unit) and I sent it out within days (a land-speed record, by my standards).

I've never put this show into circulation until now - with the exception of Paul's manager, I don't think I've ever shared this with anyone. The sound is pretty good for a rinky dink set-up and an amateur taper, I think - funny how recording a performance from that distance helps, huh? That the recording is not perfect mirrors the charm of the performer himself. Rough around the edges, but still compelling.

Not only can you hear Paul's guitar through the monitors and amplifiers, you can at times hear the un-amplified acoustic guitar strings recorded directly through my microphone, bypassing all electronic assistance. Paul's "under-the-breath" commentary, perhaps lost to those in the back of the room, sounds clear as day in this recording.

I really hope you like this bootleg. If you're not familiar with Paul Westerberg or the Replacements, give it a shot and see what you think. Pick up an album or two (just make sure "Tim" is one of them). If you're already a fan, then this will be a treat - download it and share it with anyone who might like a copy. Link to this page - I'll keep these files up for a good long while.

Paul: You wouldn't remember me if you sat down next to me and I told you the whole story directly, but thanks again - for everything.

Also, please don't sue me for posting these ;)

If you want to download the show, individual files (320 kbps) or complete-show ZIP files are below.

Please trade, share, and spread the word - just don't sell copies!

01 Intro
02 Waiting For Somebody
03 Lookin' Out Forever
04 Once Around The Weekend
05 Hootenanny
06 No Place For You
07 Eyes Like Sparks
08 Born For Me
09 Mr. Rabbit
10 High Time
11 Alex Chilton
12 Crackle and Drag
13 Skyway
14 Unsatisfied
15 Let The Bad Times Roll
16 Someone Take The Wheel
17 Psychopharmacology

Complete show - 192 kbps mp3 zip file (~ 83 MB)
Complete show - 320 kbps mp3 zip file (~130 MB)
Complete show - lossless FLAC zip file (~290 MB)

Happy 3/16; diet update

2009-03-16T15:12:00.001-04:00

Though I haven't updated my diet blog for a while now, the workouts continue.

No doubt lunch spoiled my brief celebration, but this morning when I weighed in ...

(drumroll please)

... I was 172.9 lbs. I haven't weighed that little since high school, maybe? I'm less than a pound away from being 40 lbs. lighter than my highest recorded weight. Wow.

Via Bryan, a reminder that today is 3/16. Or 3:16, if you prefer.

I miss the '90s

2009-03-06T09:15:00.001-05:00

eMpTV is a horrible, horrible virus upon the world that needs to be destroyed ... but it didn't used to be that way. Their website actually has a pretty incredible catalog of old music videos (yes, kids, MTV used to show music videos at one time - hard to believe, I know), and I've been rediscovering some old stuff I haven't seen in ages.

There's probably going to be an ad or some sort of promo before each of these ... sorry.

Velocity Girl: "Audrey's Eyes"

Velocity Girl - New Music - More Music Videos

Charlatans UK: "The Only One I Know"

The Charlatans UK - New Music - More Music Videos

Buffalo Tom: "Taillights Fade"

Buffalo Tom - New Music - More Music Videos

Lush: "Nothing Natural"

Lush - New Music - More Music Videos

10,000 Maniacs: "These Are Days"

10,000 Maniacs - New Music - More Music Videos

Updated live recordings list

2009-03-03T11:10:00.000-05:00

My re-organization project is coming along pretty well. Check it out.

15 "Profound" Albums

2009-02-27T14:25:00.001-05:00

The latest Facebook meme is the one in which you're instructed to list "15 albums that had such a profound effect on you that they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people emotions. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically shaped your world."

(I'm not going to "tag" people with requests to post their own lists, because I figure they've all gotten an in-box full of requests by now already, and even if they didn't, nothing's stopping them from writing their own list and posting it anyway. I mean - good god, people, I know I'm a very important person, but you don't need my permission to do these things. I appreciate your checking with me first, though.)

The emergence of this chain-request happily coincided with my recent purchase of a 1 Terrabyte external hard drive. My plan was/is to finally consolodate all of my music collection in one location. As a result, I'm re-ripping all of my CDs at 320 kbps and transferring my bootleg collection from piles of DVD-Rs into their own directory. I'm finding that my archiving skills have been suspect at best - so many shows were duplicated on multiple DVDs, and I never kept a list to begin with ... After I rename all of my folders with artist name, performance dates, and locations of the shows, I'll post the file. It'll be impressive, I promise - probably 1000+ shows, before I even get to all of the Black Crowes and Guns N' Roses stuff that may require another hard drive. They're mostly in space-consuming/quality preserving .flac or .shn format, though, so another hard drive might be needed anyway ... which will just encourage me to download even MORE stuff that I'll never listen to. Then there are the video bootlegs on individual DVDs ... I have a problem, is what I'm saying.

But as far as my 15 albums go, I'm going to miss something somewhere, I'm sure, so it's quite possible this list will eventually be amended at some point. I also realize that there are no albums by Queen or Led Zeppelin on this list, and I freakin' LOVE Queen and Led Zeppelin, so go figure.

The list will probably be more chronological than anything, though upon drafting my list I realize that a majority of the artists listed below put out amazing records that I caught onto after the fact - The Replacements' "Tim" for instance, is a better record (and one I listen to more often) than "Don't Tell a Soul", but I "discovered" the 'Mats with "Don't Tell a Soul" (then worked backwards in their catalog), so it had more of a lasting effect on me.

I was born in 1974, so I'm sure I didn't become too aware of the concept of "popular music" until the mid-1980s. Until then, I listened to whatever my parents listened to, which was primarily the "oldies" station. This is painful to think about, because in the mid-80s, music from the 60s was already considered worthy of the title "oldies". Now, in 2009, GNR's "Appetite For Destruction" is 20+ years old, and ACDC's "Back in Black" is pushing 30 (and some people still consider Brian Johnson "the new guy", which I think is hysterical). Technically, by precedent, these albums are also now "oldies", which kinda freaks me out. I don't even like them to be considered "classic rock". I feel young physically (except the whole getting out of bed thing), but I'm feeling like I'm at least twice as old as I want to musically. On the other hand, when I hear what's "popular" today, I'm going to be a cranky old man anyway, because so much of it is absolutely terrible. GET OFF MY LAWN, FALL OUT BOY!

Though I grew up on the music of the 60s to an extent, very little of it had any lasting effect on me. I appreciate the Beatles and the Stones (though anything of theirs after the late 70s is pretty much a waste of my time, unfortunately), but I found deeper connections with more contemporary albums.

So the mid-80s is probably a great place to start.

1. "1984" - Van Halen
I could be mistaken, but I'm 99% sure that the first album (or cassette, actually) I ever bought with my own money was "1984". I didn't know anything about Van Halen prior to seeing the video for "Jump", because my folks didn't listen to "modern" FM rock stations. MTV came along, though, and changed everything. Synth or no, it's still my favorite VH record.

2. "Appetite for Destruction" - Guns N' Roses
Still sounds as fresh to me as the first time I heard it. This record came out in '87, so I was in junior high at the time. Though I don't think I could actually relate (then, or now for that matter) in a personal, first-hand kind of way to the great anger, frustration, and rebellion that Axl Rose lets loose on this record, I got (and still get) a rise out of the power of his voice and the perfect tones and melodies of Slash's solos. I'm still a huge Slash mark - the dude writes solos you can sing along with, you know? Not many people do that anymore. Plus, at the time, "hair bands" (Poison, Winger, Cinderella) were really popular, and these guys seemed so different, even though they were bunched in with those other horrible acts. Twenty-plus years later, this album stands tall while the others have fallen to the wayside.

3. "... And Justice For All" - Metallica
My brother, a year younger than me, was into Metallica by the time "Master of Puppets" was released. It took me a few years to catch on that they were more than just the noise I thought they were. When their first video for "One" came to MTV, I was impressed at the intensity, but I never bothered to listen to my brother's tapes. In a bold move at the time, because I had no regular source of income other than my paper route, I joined the BMG Music Club to expand my album library to include albums that weren't just radio-recorded nonsense. I had to pick 12 albums (for the price of one, with no further obligation to buy - ever!), so what the hell ... Metallica it was. I couldn't tell you what else I got, because I only remember listening to this one. Over, and over, and over. School was a 15-20 minute walk from my house, and this frequently accompanied my travels. I got on the bandwagon late, then had to wait another 20 years for it to come through my neighborhood again (Thanks again for "Death Magnetic"!)

4. "Dont Tell a Soul" - The Replacements
5. "Green" - REM
Would I have discovered these albums without Dave Kendall hosting MTV's "120 Minutes" every Sunday night at midnight? Probably, just not as soon as I did. I had many sleepy, blurry-eyed Monday mornings as a result of the show. My introduction to REM was their video for "Stand"; I bought the record, and realized it was far from the best track on it. To this day, I get excited every time I hear the Replacements' "I'll Be You". Two great records that made me realize that the best music wasn't necessarily that which could be found on the radio.

(If you'll excuse me for a moment while I pull my "grumpy old man" pants up to my nipples and shake my fist for a moment ...) See, kids, there used to be a really cool thing called "alternative music". It was kind of like today's "indie" scene, but a whole lot less pretensious and a helluva lot more creative. There were bands who didn't fit in to "mainstream" radio playlists and who weren't necessarily trying to look/act like/be "rock stars". They just played awesome, sometimes serious, sometimes quirky music and did their thing, not trying to become the "next big thing" in the post-tween demographic. What apparently passes as "alternative" today is essentially being an emo-based boy band that plays its own instruments and has horrible haircuts. "Alternative" music was really awesome for a while in the 90s, until the Red Hot Chili Peppers destroyed it with "Under the Bridge". I blame everything on them. I'm not joking even a little bit.

6. "Disintegration" - The Cure
Holy shit. I think this was the second CD I ever bought (more on the first in a moment).

There was a girl I knew in high school who had a Cure t-shirt, and our musical tastes overlapped at least a little bit (not much, but enough to hold up an occasional conversation). I was somewhat familiar with the video for "Love Song", but she recommended that I check out the whole album. In another act of financial daring, I threw down not for the cassette but for the CD instead because I'd gotten a stereo receiver unit (with built-in dual cassette players for dubbing, a CD player, and AM/FM antennas) for Christmas and could listen to my own music. This must have been in '88? Researching on Amazon, I see that the album came out in May '89, and I didn't get it until at least a couple months after it had been released, and I know I wouldn't have bought the CD if I couldn't listen to it in my own room ...

Anyway, getting the CD was a great choice because, even though my stereo was hardly state of the art, it was much better than the crappy tape deck I had. And if you know this record, you know that the album absolutely shimmers and sparkles when you listen to it. The production was so deep and wonderful, and it filled up my room with so many bits and pieces that I never would have heard on a tape. If you own it, throw it in and press play. It starts with a hint of chimes ringing lightly, and opens into an absolutely breathtaking epic of sound ... an absolutely gorgeous record, beginning to end.

The first CD? I'm sure of this one: "The Great Radio Controversy" by Tesla. No joke. Very different from "Disintegration", of course (not even in the same league, actually), but it's actually not a bad record, all things considered.

You know what also came out in 1989?

7. "The Real Thing" - Faith No More
Unfortunately, this was one of the most influential albums of the last 20 years.

But if you love it enough to have it on your list, Jim, why is it "unfortunate" that it was so influential?

Because every band who followed and tried their hand at a rap/rock fusion failed miserably, resulting in so much horrible music. What was so amazing on this record quickly mutated into beastly aural abortions such as Limp Bizkit. There is a direct, unfortunate line that links both of these albums. Somehow, my opinion of this album isn't tarnished, despite the havoc that it set loose upon the world.

"The Real Thing" was, as I understand it, recorded without vocals while the band searched for a new lead singer (their first, Chuck Mosely, left after their first album, "We Care A Lot" - the title track of which is now the theme song for "Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe". Weird.) Mike Patton came along, came up with the lyrics after listening to the instrumentals. Just add a flipping fish, and the rest is history!

8. "Shake Your Moneymaker" - The Black Crowes
I drove my friends crazy with this album - because when I had the wheel, I played this album again and again (nothing like the power of a high schooler driving his parents' white Subaru station wagon ... with a TAPE DECK!). Another MTV discovery - before "Hard to Handle" and "She Talks to Angels" became big hits, they attempted two other singles: "Twice as Hard" and "Jealous Again". I remember seeing the video for "Jealous Again" and remarking to my brother that they were the Izzy Stradlin'-est band I'd ever seen. They all looked like Izzy to me. I really dug the bluesy sound, though, and I got the record.

The first concert I ever went to was ZZ Top at the Worcester Centrum, but I didn't go because I wanted to see them. I wanted to see the Crowes, who were the opening act (before they got booted off the tour).

I've seen them at least 10 times since, and gotten to go backstage to meet them once (which would actually be a great story for its own blog entry someday). And I have so, so many bootlegs. Thank you, internets!

9. Nirvana - "Nevermind"
10. Pearl Jam - "Ten"

For anyone 33-40 years old, I'd say, these should probably just be a "gimme", like how contestants on "Wheel of Fortune" are automatically given R,S,T,L,N and E when trying to solve their final puzzles. It's just understood that most people are going to put one or both of these on their lists, so they shouldn't really count as "choices" in the first place.

It's hard to put the importance of "Nevermind" into the proper perspective for anyone who only knows Dave Grohl as a Foo Fighter. When "Smells Like Teen Spirit" hit, the direction of popular music changed literally instantaneously. The era of big hair ended, and flannel and canvas Chuck Taylor All-Stars replaced ripped jeans as the look-of-the-moment. Many bands took the verse-chorus-verse, soft-loud-soft approach before and after Nirvana's breakout (Nirvana took after the Pixies, for instance), but few had the dramatic, powerful results that they did.

It was also a matter of right place, right time, too. Hair bands were stale, and the young audience that bought into the "grunge" movement were energizing changes on a larger scale, too. After 12 years of Republican control of the White House, for exampe, the Clintons were on their way in. It was a perfect cultural storm, and Nirvana led the charge. Kurt Cobain never seemed comfortable with the attention, however, and didn't want to be a spokesman for any movement, no matter how responsible they were for it.

Pearl Jam, however, seemed happy to be such a voice - for the first year or two, at least, before Eddie Vedder seemingly forgot how to speak in complete sentences for a while, mumbling through interviews and deciding not to make videos for their songs.

As years have passed, I have to admit that the shine on "Ten" has faded a bit for me, though I still enjoy Pearl Jam on the whole.

11. "Singles" - soundtrack
I love this record. Love it, love it, love it. (With the exception of the Lovemongers' take on Led Zeppelin's "Battle of Evermore".) More Pearl Jam (two of their best songs ever are on this record, and aren't on any of their own albums) and other Seattle bands who led the grunge movement, Paul Westerberg of the Replacements, Smashing Pumpkins ... oh, man.

Not only was this the soundtrack of a movie, it essentially became the soundtrack to my college years. Friends I made, realizations I came to, girls I wanted to speak to more (but was, regretfully, ultimately too chicken) ... lots of memories (some great, some not so great) flood back when I listen to this CD.

Perhaps not an important record in the grand scheme of things, but it's definitely one that's near and dear to my heart.

12. Buffalo Tom - "Big Red Letter Day"
13. Morphine - "Cure For Pain"
14. Dinosaur Jr - "Where You Been"

One of the great side-effects of going to college in Boston was that my time there coincided with the rise in prominence of an incredible number of musicians and performers who were also locals to the scene. Dinosaur Jr was less Boston-based than Morphine or Buffalo Tom, so I didn't see them around much, but I'd get the free copy of the Boston Phoenix every week and scour the listings. So many great bands, so little money in my poor-student hands. Letters to Cleo played everywhere. The Bosstones were huge locally, but not yet nationally. And there were so many other bands that I would hear about every week on WFNX's "Local Product" or WBCN's "Boston Emissions" broadcasts that never got as famous as their counterparts - I really enjoyed Smackmelon, for instance. By brother got me into Bullet LaVolta a bit. And who didn't love (and slightly fear) a band called Scissorfight? If ever a band sounded the way their name would lead you believe they might, it was Scissorfight.

Buffalo Tom caught on nationally thanks to the TV show "My So Called Life" and the use of "Sodajerk" in a Nike commercial. Morphine drew critical acclaim at every turn with every one of their releases. Dinosaur Jr brought their giant guitar sound on tour with Lollapallooza. And, as a Bostonian, they were all mine. At least, as far as I was concered they were. I was happy to lay claim to them as Bostonians - much more so than I was to simply accept that Aerosmith and Extreme were the best my city could offer.

I'm still not sure I've ever been cool enough to deserve being a fan of Morphine's - that's some seriously sexy music for sexy people. Buffalo Tom was just an honest rock band with themes of love, loss, and wanting that I could relate to in a big way. Dinosaur Jr was all about melodies and guitars - giant, screaming guitars. Riff heaven, kids. And that awesome purple t-shirt, which I wore out and had to retire. I had that thing for 15+ years before accepting that I couldn't wear it in public anymore due to rips, stretches, and fading.

They've been a part of me ever since.

I can't believe it's been about a decade since Mark Sandman left us so unexpectedly (he died of a heart attack onstage in Italy). After he died, I went to a bunch of Orchestra Morphine shows at the Lizard Lounge and taped them ... I really should post them someday. Dana Colley was joined by a couple of other musicians to create a layered horn section that the original Morphine could only create on record. Laurie Sargent (whose "Streets of Fire" soundtrack contribution "Nowhere Fast" is *still* ever-present on my iPod) shared vocals. And I would sit or stand literally feet from them, wondering what they could be thinking as they performed the amazing songs that Mark had written before he died.

I went to the ceremony in Central Square that honored Mark by proclaiming the corner between the Middle East and Hi-Fi Pizza "Mark Sandman Square". I took a lot of pictures that day. I lived just outside of Central Square for a couple of years after that, and it always broke my heart a little bit to see that sign, to know that Mark was gone for real.

Buffalo Tom doesn't tour that much anymore and didn't put out any records for nine years between "Smitten" (1998) and "Three Easy Pieces" (2007), but I still listen to them all the time and have two of the exact same BT t-shirts in different colors in my regular clothing rotation. Don't know why I can't just pick one. Bill Janovitz, one of my favorite songwriters and all around nice guys, has slightly demoted himself to being a "Part Time Man of Rock", but he stays busy playing out regularly in Boston and treats his fans to his free "Cover of the Week" mp3 project on his blog. Plus, he's a friend of Theo and Peter, which makes me eternally jealous. If you're not sure who Theo and Peter are, realize that I'm a Red Sox fan, and maybe you'll figure it out.

15. "New Parade" - The Sheila Divine
Surprise! You knew it was on the list somewhere, right? It had to be.

This album resulted in me finding a new set of best friends after my old set of best friends (from college) all left Boston long before I did. I went to shows and slowly but surely found a network of comforting souls who shared similar interests and attitudes about being 20-something in the city. We hung out at shows at first - the front two or three rows in the center was usually where we would be found - but eventually started meeting up outside of music venues for drinks, or cookouts, or to go to the movies. Sometimes without a "ringleader" it can be awkward: if person A knows persons B and C, B and C might not speak to each other without A being around. Not with us. Everyone knew everyone, and we could all have fun no matter who was around. We were interchangable parts.

We would take road trips to Providence, or Portland (Maine), or New York City, or even that one driving trip to Buffalo. Whoever could be ready on time and fit in the car, we were ready to go. Sometimes we just had to jump on the subway - a show at the Sam Adams Brewery, or maybe at a restaurant near South Station, or those amazing New Years Eve shows at the Paradise.

The Sheila Divine was also responsible for my trip to Belgium; had they not been OK with me inviting myself along for their brief tour there, I wouldn't have gone. But by that point, in the summer of 2001, I was friendly with them and they found room in their tour van to drive me with them from town to town for their shows.

I had a blast. Always.

The band announced they were breaking up at just about the same time I was preparing to leave Boston and move to Portland (Oregon). They planned two farewell performances to take place about 8 weeks after I moved, and my friends - the ones who would share car seats or save a place at the bar for me - raised a collection to fly me back so I could be there, because it was important to me.

Because it was important to us.

My friend Alan recorded the shows and put out a terrific DVD for fans of the band, and toward the end of the show, there I am ... red faced and misty eyed. I'm no weirdo emo kid who cries at shows because that's what you're supposed to do at a Dashboard Confessional concert, but I was choked up because I knew that it was really over.

My time in Boston was done, the band who'd brought us all together was no more, and my time with this great group of friends who meant (and still mean) more to me than they could ever possibly know had come to an end.

All wrapped up with a lyric in "Automatic Buffalo":

So if I walk out
and if I walk out
Then it's c'est la vie
I'll be history

So yeah, it was more than a little emotional.

... all that, and I haven't even mentioned the music yet. The album was so important to me personally that the music itself ranks second on my list of reasons why it was so vital in my life. That's got to count for something, right?

If you're interested, check out one of my pet projects, The Sheila Divine Archive.

Obama's Elf

2009-02-17T18:16:00.001-05:00

This will probably be one of the top 5 viral videos of the calendar year 2009. By the end of next week, you'll probably have been forwarded this link several times.

For once, though, I'm jumping on the bandwagon super-early, because no matter what your political leanings are, this video is NOTHING BUT PURE WIN.

Enjoy!

Obama's Elf

The Wrestler

2009-02-16T10:59:00.001-05:00

Edit: a quick note - I link to some YouTube videos of CZW wrestling below. If you decide to check them out, please note that they are very likely to be disturbing and gross. I watched one - barely - because I wanted to see what "real" CZW wrestling was like. Turns out - unsurprisingly - I'm not a fan of that kind of stuff. I'd rather see Vince's cartoonish version instead. Just a heads up.

************

A long-overdue review of "The Wrestler", per the relentless prodding of my cousin Chris*:

I had heard about the movie during it's production, and would have been hesitant to give it much of a chance if not for the fact that I knew Darren Aronofsky was directing. In less capable hands, this story would have been a mess ... how does one tell a fictional story about fictional characters who pretend to be *other* fictional characters telling fictional stories?

Only in the world of professional wrestling ...

Though I don't watch as often as I used to, I'm still a fan. I'm not embarrassed to admit it. It's like a soap opera, but sports-based. "Sports"-based. Or something like that. What we see on TV is just a silly story punctuated by incredible athleticism, feats of bravery, good vs. evil, and a cliffhanger every week. Plus, it's done live in front of thousands of fans. (Take that, "Desperate Housewives"!) But it's so much more than that, too, for anyone who is a "smart", who understands that there's more to the story than just what's on TV.

I'm also not going to defend the business. Everyone knows about the Chris Benoit tragedy. Everyone knows about Owen Hart's horrible accident. Everyone knows about issues with steroids, and Vince McMahon being a difficult and demanding boss (and a great promoter and businessman, as well as ... well, a pretty weird guy sometimes).

But what about the guys who aren't in the spotlight? Guys who never made it big and graduated on to better things before their bodies gave up on them? Or guys who gave up on themselves, instead? For every success story like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, there are hundreds of anonymous gym rats who treat their bodies like lab rats instead.

This is not a film about wrestling, despite the title. This is a movie about Randy "The Ram" Robinson, a man who gave up on himself years ago and has slowly watched his life fall apart, town by town, road trip by road trip, because he simply doesn't know how (or want) to do anything else. It's also about a man who really doesn't know who he is, because he's blurred the line between the man he actually is and the persona he becomes when he pulls on his tights.

The Ram used to be a huge star: he held national championship titles, wrestled on some of the biggest cards of his time, and was well loved by his adoring fans. This we learn before the opening credits finish rolling. But we also know his time has long since passed - his choice of his own "entrance theme" music gives it away.

He's still in good ring shape, aided by injections, tanning sessions, and hair dying. But now he lives alone in a trailer that he can barely afford. He has to wear a hearing aid. His entertainment is a small TV, an old 8-bit video game system (with which he is able to re-live his glory days with the kids in the neighborhood), and a rack full of audio cassettes from the Reagan/Bush era. To make ends meet, he works part-time at a supermarket for a boss who clearly looks down upon the choices that The Ram has made in life.

But wrestling is all he knows and loves - and he's driven by the "pop" he gets from the fans when he comes through the curtains and down to the ring, even if it just for a few dozen fans at a local VFW hall. One of the most powerful scenes in the film, in my opinion, takes place as he wanders through the bland cement hallways of a building, winding his way through stairwells and passages, only to split the curtain hanging over the door while he hears the fans building to a crescendo only to discover ... well, I won't ruin it for you. It's a heartbreaking glimpse into the Ram's psyche, at any rate - an indication that the way he wants the world to react to him and the way he needs to react to the world are vastly different.

He justifies the risks he takes by thinking its what the fans want to see, though what he sees through his own eyes scares him (at a "legends" convention, some of his contemporaries are in wheelchairs, or have to wear bags to collect their urine). He knows this could be his own future, yet pushes forth in matches that would make performers half his age second guess their chosen careers (the match against Necro Butcher in CZW is not for the feint of heart).

The colorful, larger than life characters a wrestling fan might expect to see in the ring are brought back to earth in the locker room, where "the boys" are paired up prior to the matches to discuss how their bouts are scheduled to conclude, and to figure out how their "spots" (pre-determined wrestling moves) will be worked into the performances.

It reminded me of a time in the late 90s, when I went to see ECW (the pre-WWE version) in Webster, MA. A relative was on the school board (if I recall correctly) in Webster, and was helping to run a concession stand at the event as a school fundraiser. She knew I was a fan, and got me into the building a couple of hours before the show to help "set up". I maybe moved some bags of ice, but pretty much just lurked in the shadows watching the wrestlers get ready. I saw Joel Gertner sitting in the front row eating donut after donut. I saw Beulah McGillicutty walking her dog around the arena. I saw Tommy Dreamer and Raven in the ring practicing their scheduled match ahead of time, at half-speed. But they weren't Gertner, Dreamer and Raven ... they were the people who played them. Gertner, Dreamer and Raven didn't show up until a few hours later.

It was a little odd to see back then, but when I saw it on the big screen I understood it. I'd seen it before. For real. In person.

Maybe that's what made this movie resonate so much ... it's also real, even though it's fictional. Randy "The Ram" Robinson doesn't exist, but Necro Butcher is indeed a very real wrestler (most of his matches are heavy on gore and violence, not the stuff one sees on TV every week) who actually makes a living in this non-big screen life by putting his body through torture, for lack of a better word. CZW, Combat Zone Wrestling, is a very real independent promotion. ROH, Ring of Honor, is highlighted in the film's final match, and is likely to be the next "big thing" to bubble up from the underground of the industry. As for that final match, it was taped during a real ROH show at Philadelphia's legendary ECW Arena, the closest thing to wrestling Mecca in the US outside of Madison Square Garden.

Though the lead in this film, wonderfully portrayed by Mickey Rourke (who is absolutely worthy of all the acclaim he's received for his performance), is a fictional creation, it was hard not to watch him and think of names of real life wrestlers who could easily have taken his place had this film been a documentary feature instead: Jake "The Snake" Roberts comes to mind. Sabu, sadly, could also lace up the Ram's boots someday soon. If you haven't seen "Beyond the Mat" or "Heroes of World Class" (about WCCW and the Von Erichs), they're both documentaries about the business and I can't recommend them highly enough.

(A sidebar about Mickey Rourke: enough of this "comeback" talk, movie critics! Does NO ONE remember his criminally overlooked performance in "Sin City"? He was deserving of a Best Supporting Actor nomination for that movie, too.)

The subplots are also compelling. Randy has an estranged daughter, who doesn't know her father because he was always on the road instead of at home raising her. Marisa Tomei plays Cassidy, a stripper who faces a battle parallel to that of The Ram's: splitting her life between two distinct personalities, and not being able to separate them fully from each other.

In the end, "The Wrestler" is a sad movie (not Kleenex sad, generally just a downer kind of sad) with an uncomfortable, ambiguous ending wholly appropriate in keeping with the general tone of the film.

Though one knows how a wrestling match is supposed to end, "real life" is not at all so simple.

* (just kidding, Chris - I should have written this and responded to you long ago).

Smackdown vs. Raw '08: finally, the credits screen!, fun links

2009-02-09T15:42:00.001-05:00

New music on the right, if you're reading on sonicplague.com. As you can tell, that Fire, Inc. song is STILL lodged in my head, like those bugs in the Wrath of Khan. It's not as bad as it was before, but it's still ... not right.

It took me forever, because I had to become a "Legend" to unlock the closing credits for the game, but here it is finally: visual evidence that I did, in fact, write part of THQ's "WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2008" video game. I don't know that anyone doubted me (most of those who read this blog are, I think, close enough friends to realize I wouldn't make something like this up), but just in case ... here it is:

Click for larger image

I can now stop talking about it!

***

The eating portion of the new weight-loss program I've started is going to turn 90 days into 120, I think. Thursday night, the workout was followed by a trip to a sushi restaurant. Saturday night, it was followed by a drive out to Hoboken to have Mexican food with some friends (one of whom is a Yankees fan, but a totally cool guy other than that). Though we weren't officially on the diet at this point, I should probably also mention that I think I'm still digesting all of the great food provided at the Superbowl party a while back. So it's going to take a while to get into the swing, for sure.

Unlike the diet that Mike Nelson, late of MST3K and RiffTrax is undertaking. He's currently blogging about his February menu: all bacon, all the time. A whole month of bacon.

Godspeed, sir.

***

A quick link, via JD, and it's too good to pass up sharing. Whether you like Obama or not, it's always funny to hear "serious" people saying things you wouldn't expect. In this case, selected quotes from his audiobook are taken out of context for your listening pleasure. Enjoy!

Barack Obama is tired of your motherfucking shit

***

One final piece of nonsense (for now) - particularly if you're a fan of Valve's outstanding "Left 4 Dead" video game. Here's a music video of Francis explaining to everyone that he hates ... everything.

Sushi, MST3K revisited, and the Boss

2009-02-06T19:04:00.001-05:00

Edit: ahh, nuts. What happend to my formatting on sonicplague.com? Urgh ...

Though this would be better served for placement in my diet/exercise blog, given that our excursion last night pretty much wiped out any progress yesterday's workout allegedly may have provided, I would like to announce that we've finally found an awesome little eatery here in Morristown: the Asashi Sushi restaurant.

In PDX, we were spoiled ... everywhere one turns, there's a new restaurant to try out. Some aren't so good, many are terrific. But in our neck of the woods ... ugh. I know we haven't tried too many places yet, but there seem to be five distinct choices in our current vicinity:

1. Italian
2. Shitty Italian
3. Diners (featuring many plates with "Italian sauce")
4. Chains (Fuddruckers! Outback! TGI Fridays!)
5. Fast food

But this ... this absolute OASIS in a desert of horrors! It's a smallish place, maybe seven or eight tables at most, and the sushi chef prepares everything fresh, at the counter out in the open, for all to see. The presentation is gorgeous. The restaurant itself is warm and inviting, a particular treat when the temperature outside is in the teens and you had to park a few blocks away at the garage because there's no street parking to be found and the people around you are driving like ignorant jerks who ... ahem, anyway.

I have to admit, I'm not as adventurous in my eating habits as I'd like to be in some ways, such as with sushi (the faux Trader Joe's ones don't count). Nicole loves the stuff ... I tend to stick to rice and meat plates, or tempura. But I'll try her sushi rolls every now and then, and I'm warming up to it, slowly but surely. I promised her that next time we went, I'd take the plunge and order nothing but sushi.

Anyway, it was a nice treat and a fun night out. One of too few these days.

*****

How does one learn things that are untaught? I ask, because what this guy has done in his garage is inspiring to me: www.joecrow.com. He makes, by hand, full-scale replicas of the 'bots from Mystery Science Theater 3000 (even Cambot!). He also sells individual parts, if you want to make your own, and has posted step-by-step instructions on how to make your own. Amazing. And they're really spot-on, too! It's not like he's made "close approximations" - these seem screen-ready.

Maybe someday ...

Speaking of MST3K, though, Nicole, my brother and me are heading to the Somerville Theater on the 21st to see a live performance of Cinematic Titanic, featuring Joel Hodgson (Joel Hodgson), Trace Beaulieu (Dr. Forrester), Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester), Josh Weinstein (Dr. Erhardt - waaaay back in the early MST days), and Frank Connif (TV's Frank).

Heroes of mine. HEROES, I tell you!

I've always wanted to see/meet these guys - my brother and I watched MST every week back when it was on Comedy Central. I went to see"Mitchell" at the Morse Auditorium when MST was sending the film on a college tour in the 90s (no stars in person, just the movie starring MST fave Joe Don Baker - during which Mike Nelson takes over for Joel). I went to see MST3K: The Movie when it was out in theaters.

So when I got the e-mail with the presale password, I told Nicole and, even though we're trying not to spend money unnecessarily, she declared an entertainment emergency.

When tickets went on sale, I pounced and was on-line waiting.

At the Somerville Theater, row A is the front row in the center orchestra section - right in front of the stage. This row is for patrons who have wheelchairs. My three seats are row B, seats 7,8, and 9 (that's pretty much dead center). Do the math. It's going to be a fun, fun night.

More fun than everyone around here who tried to get tickets to Bruce Springsteen at the Izod Center in Newark via Ticketmaster but were shut out and diverted to a ticket re-sale agency immediately upon the moment tickets went on-sale. The tickets that fans could not purchase because of "error messages" on the TM website were available within minutes via TicketsNow, at jacked up prices. Ticketmaster has always practiced douchebaggery, and now there are going to be investigations. I hope someone holds their feet to the fire, not just for this, but because they're a horrible, horrible company in general (despite my luck this time around).

For more on the Springsteen story, visit this link and read the story. Even if you're not a fan, it's a good read and a worthy click of your mouse.

Seriously, check it out.

My new diet and exercise program blog

2009-02-04T23:38:00.000-05:00

God help us all, I'm actually going on a fairly strict diet and exercise regimen. Well, exercise, at least. I'm prone to the occasional poor nutrition choice. I'm going to be more careful, though.

The ~~worst~~ best part? I'm going to be vain enough to blog about it and post occasional pictures to track my progress.

Join me, won't you?

http://www.sonicplague.com/slimjim

(JD, start your engines ...)

25 Things About Me

2009-01-29T11:33:00.001-05:00

The rules, as stated by the Facebook instructions in the chain letter, state:

If you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.

I ignore most chain-letter requests like these, but I've received three in the past two days from friends with whom I haven't kept in touch as well as I ought to have (and I haven't written a blog entry in a few days), so why not?

1. At 34 years old, I have never used any illegal drug and have never used any tobacco product of any kind.

2. I hate daytime and "reality" TV shows. Prime-time TV isn't much better. I can't understand how so many cable channels manage to stay in business, given the horrible shows they decide to air.

3. After college, I topped out at 212 lbs. (Thank you, B.U. meal plan. Thank you, Dunkin Donuts.) I currently weight ever-so-slightly just under 180.

4. I don't write nearly as well as I like to think I do. My sentences tend to ramble, I use too many parenthetical asides (like this one!), I don't get to the point fast enough, and I don't transition from subject to subject as smoothly as I should. In fairness, one is taught to find his or her "own voice" when writing ... well, I guess this *is* my own voice, because I speak like this as well.

5. My college years were essentially wasted, education-wise. I was an engineering student for the first two years. After much internal debate, I couldn't see myself being happy in that line of work, so I transferred to Communications as a journalism major. Bad decision. I don't know what I was thinking. Given my need to fulfill requirements of the switch in majors, my responsibilities as a Resident Assistant (heightened by some of the cretins who lived on my floor), and the general sadness and malaise resulting from my father's death from a heart attack during my senior year, I lost a lot of motivation to do more than the minimum necessary to just get through. I was never an intern or co-op, I had no clip file to speak of for prospective journalistic employers (see #6), and I didn't have the contacts that many others who spent four years in the program did. A journalism career seemed unlikely from the start, and my engineering days left me unable to do simple multiplication, never mind Modern Physics or Electronic Circuit Theory. So four years and countless thousands of dollars later ... I don't know. I should have just taken it to Las Vegas instead.

6. I tried working for the B.U. newspaper, the Daily Free Press, but it
was a bit disastrous. I attempted to write actual news stories during my Junior year (my first year as a COM student), but my first two experiences were horrible. The very first went unpublished (I don't recall the reason, nor the topic of the story). The second assignment was to interview members of the Senior class to find out why they were upset that the traditional Senior Week clambake was to be alcohol-free. I went to the Student Union and started asking "Are you a Senior? Are you a Senior?" It was tough to find a sampling of the population willing to answer my questions. Eventually I got a couple of quotes from a few people, and the response was, in general, "yeah ... it's really not a big deal."

Apparently it *was* a big deal to whoever the editor of the Freep was at the time (a Senior, I assume). The only "negative" quote I got was used and taken somewhat out of context, so when the story ran, it was much shorter than the one I had turned in, and it had a much different tone. I got an angry voice mail from the person who was quoted. I called her back and asked for her e-mail address, so I could send her the version I had actually written, prior to the edits that were made in the print version.

On a personal level, this cleared things up with the person who was quoted, but it left a really bad taste in my mouth in regard to the process as a whole.

As a senior, though, I wrote a poorly-conceived, semi-half assed bi-weekly column in the Op-Ed pages. Though they make me cringe to re-read now, this experience was actually a lot of fun and ultimlately led to my creation of a poorly-conceived, semi-half assed blog that seems to get published even less frequently. Go figure.

7. I have been to Japan, Belgium, England, and France, but I have never been to Canada or Mexico.

8. Everywhere you turn in my apartment, you can find something with a Red Sox logo on it.

9. I have never been arrested and have never received a ticket for a moving violation. I got a parking ticket once, over ten years ago.

10. I used to have long hair, but genetics failed me. Now, I buzz it down or shave it off altogether. What used to be 7-8 inches long now rarely even gets to 7/8 of an inch!

11. I have no tattoos or piercings.

12. I often wonder how different my life would have been if I had been more aggressive and much braver in my teens and early 20s. If I could have been more of the me that I am now back then, I probably would have had a lot more fun.

13. I consider myself a liberal, not a Democrat. The names "Democrat" and "Republican" seem too divisive to me, in a way. "Democrat" is a party, "liberal" is a mindset. I'm not so eager to claim loyalty to the former, but my values and morals lead me to embrace the latter.

14. I am not a religious person (here's some of the reason why), but have no problem with anyone else who is. I do think that religion and politics is a potentially toxic mix, however.

15. I have literally thousands of bootleg concerts archived on DVD-R. I am working on a comprehensive list in MS Excel format.

16. I have downloaded music and not paid for it. Most of it has been deleted almost instantly, however, because so much of it is terrible. I'll see a band written up in a music-related blog, so I'll check it out to see if it's worth buying, and so often it's just awful ... so, so awful. The vast majority of today's popular music doesn't excite me at all.

17. I am a movie snob.

18. I left all of my wonderful friends and a city I absolutely love (Boston) in 2003 to move to Portland, Oregon ... to follow a girl. We've been married since September 2006. I still can't quite believe she puts up with my nonsense, but she does.

19. I met my wife in Harvard Square at a book signing. We were waiting to meet the eternally awesome Bruce Campbell (who is as cool and gracious in person as you could ever hope he would be).

20. I miss Portland dearly. I miss the rainy days, the gauntlet of homeless panhandlers downtown, and the coffee shops every fifty feet in any given direction. I miss Powell's World of Books. I miss Fred Meyer. I miss the Mission and Cinema 21.

Mostly, I miss my friends.

21. I have a co-writing credit for THQ's "WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2008" video game. My friend Bryan wrote the storylines for the game, and asked me if I'd be interested in helping him re-write some of the commentary by the announce teams. I wrote more than 4000 lines of dialogue, but it was never used. Apparently they couldn't get the voice-overs recorded on time, so all my work sits in a spreadsheet somewhere ... I haven't played the 2009 version, so I don't know if any of it was used for the newest version, though I doubt it.

Some of the "articles" I wrote for the WWE magazines used as in-game plot devices were used, though, so as you play the game, some of what you read is stuff I wrote.

Though it was disappointing to play the game and not hear the dialogue that I wrote added into it, it was a great experience. I have the THQ contract, check stubs, and original electronic files to prove I actually worked on it.

Now if I could just unlock the closing credits and take a screen shot of my name in the scroll ...

22. I have small feet (size 8 or 8.5).

23. I own a lot of clothing that never gets worn. Dozens of t-shirts, at least 14 polos, close to 20 button-downs, and 15 pair of pants.

24. I have tried on numerous occasions to enjoy wine, but I just don't like it. I'm also not a big fan of hard alcohol. If you offer me any variety of Sam Adams beer, however, I will not turn you down.

25. I don't read nearly as much as I should. I have so many bookshelves full of novels that I'll "get to eventually", but never seem to.

Thank you, Dr. Lowery

2009-01-20T23:33:00.001-05:00

I am not a religious person in the slightest, but I want to compliment Dr. Joseph Echols Lowery for a truly powerful and beautiful speech today during the inauguration. In a day full of high-points, his was perhaps the peak, at least in my eyes.

Thank you, Dr. Lowery, for an absolutely wonderful benediction.

***

God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, thou who has brought us thus far along the way, thou who has by thy might led us into the light, keep us forever in the path, we pray, lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met thee, lest our hearts, drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee. Shadowed beneath thy hand may we forever stand -- true to thee, O God, and true to our native land.

We truly give thanks for the glorious experience we've shared this day. We pray now, O Lord, for your blessing upon thy servant, Barack Obama, the 44th president of these United States, his family and his administration. He has come to this high office at a low moment in the national and, indeed, the global fiscal climate. But because we know you got the whole world in your hand, we pray for not only our nation, but for the community of nations. Our faith does not shrink, though pressed by the flood of mortal ills.

For we know that, Lord, you're able and you're willing to work through faithful leadership to restore stability, mend our brokenness, heal our wounds and deliver us from the exploitation of the poor or the least of these and from favoritism toward the rich, the elite of these.

We thank you for the empowering of thy servant, our 44th president, to inspire our nation to believe that, yes, we can work together to achieve a more perfect union. And while we have sown the seeds of greed -- the wind of greed and corruption, and even as we reap the whirlwind of social and economic disruption, we seek forgiveness and we come in a spirit of unity and solidarity to commit our support to our president by our willingness to make sacrifices, to respect your creation, to turn to each other and not on each other.

And now, Lord, in the complex arena of human relations, help us to make choices on the side of love, not hate; on the side of inclusion, not exclusion; tolerance, not intolerance.

And as we leave this mountaintop, help us to hold on to the spirit of fellowship and the oneness of our family. Let us take that power back to our homes, our workplaces, our churches, our temples, our mosques, or wherever we seek your will.

Bless President Barack, First Lady Michelle. Look over our little, angelic Sasha and Malia.

We go now to walk together, children, pledging that we won't get weary in the difficult days ahead. We know you will not leave us alone, with your hands of power and your heart of love.

Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around -- (laughter) -- when yellow will be mellow -- (laughter) -- when the red man can get ahead, man -- (laughter) -- and when white will embrace what is right.

The Last Day

2009-01-19T22:45:00.000-05:00

I never wanted George W. Bush to fail. I honestly never did.

I would never wish such a comprehensive failure upon any President at any point. There's too much at stake domestically, and - especially these days - too much going on in the world for there to be too much room for error.

Yes, there are many initiatives proposed by the Bush administration that I'm glad did not come to fruition. I'm glad that Harriet Myers is not on the Supreme Court, for instance. I'm certainly glad that Social Security wasn't privatized (imagine the millions of seniors who would have lost literally everything they had when the stock market crashed). But hoping that these particular things, among others, would fail to become reality because of my own morality and political conviction is much, much different from hoping that the President himself would be a failure.

I realize that, for any president, there are two serious, innate issues regarding the position:

1. Nobody can really be ready to be President on day one. Or even year one, for that matter. Where would one begin to learn what needs to be known? There are so many issues one is expected to master in such a short amount of time that, even for a VP moving into the Oval Office like George H. W. Bush did after Reagan's second term, there's always going to be a learning curve.

2. The world is a throws nothing but knuckleballs, and no matter how many contingency plans are drawn up, awful stuff happens that nobody will be prepared for or would ever "look forward" to happening. 9/11. The current economic situation. "Paul Blart, Mall Cop."

But how one prepares, and the willingness to accept help from those who know better and can share wisdom ... I believe that makes all the difference in the world. And this is how George W. Bush ultimately failed.

George W. Bush failed because he was an ideologue, unwilling to listen to those with differing opinions, unwilling to bend his own opinions the slightest bit even in the face of the plain truth. And then, when his idealogical decisions did not yield the results he expected, he lied, created alternate histories, relied on obfuscation to escape public examination, denied reality, and then went on vacation.

For instance, the way he consistently changed the reasons for the Iraq war: first, it was to get the 9/11 terrorists. Then, when America caught on to the fact that 9/11 was not Saddam Hussein's doing, it was because Iraq had WMD's. When none were found, we were told that we went to war because we had to fight terrorists "there before we have to fight them here", ignoring the fact that Al Qaeda was not based in Iraq, and were not fighting from an Iraqi base until after the US decided to attack.

Or by altering scientists' reports on global warming and climate change because he didn't like what they had to say.

Or look up Major General John Batiste for more gory details.

George Bush failed by decided to simply look the other way to appease his "free market ideals" (until recently, when it was too late). How else to explain recent complaints of corruption within the FDA? ("In their letter the FDA dissidents alleged that agency managers use
intimidation to squelch scientific debate, leading to the approval of
medical devices whose effectiveness is questionable and which may not
be entirely safe.")

George W. Bush failed because he surrounded himself with yes-men who were either too afraid to tell him "no", or who were willing to manipulate the power they came to wield in order to gain politically, financially, or personally, rather than by using the power to help those who needed it most: the American public.

The accusations of cronyism in the Bush administration have echoed for years, and there is no need at this point to rehash the names ... the obvious, Michael Brown - head of FEMA post-Katrina - is just one of many. But it is widely accepted that Brown was unqualified for the position to begin with, but he was a "Bushie", so he got the job.

George W. Bush failed because, frankly, he thought everything would be so much easier than it actually was, is, or ever could be.

George W. Bush failed because even as circumstances changed, he never did.

And this is but a drop in the bucket of scandal, outrage, and hackery that we've experienced as a nation over the last eight years. Again, not worth rehashing, because what's done is done and I have already done all I can as one voice among millions: I voted.

I voted - very proudly - for Barack Obama.

Now, the overwhelming failure of the previous administration (a 22% approval rating doesn't happen by accident, or because of a handful of minor missteps) is being replaced by the much celebrated audacity of hope that we've heard so much about over these past few months. I certainly have hopes of my own.

I hope that he will learn from the mistakes of the Bush administration. I hope that the mistakes that he himself makes - and he will make mistakes, I have no doubt - are easily remedied or minimized.

I hope that President Obama lives up to the potential of President Elect Obama.

I hope that the media will finally do its job and harshly question the
President when it is appropriate to do so (which is ALWAYS).

I hope that the American public gives President Obama sufficient time to right the ship, and doesn't expect him to have everything fixed in just a few days. It took eight years of mangling to get where we are now, and it can't all be fixed immediately.

I hope that the Obama administration sets realistic and honest goals and time-frames to accomplish them -- none of these magical "we need six more months" (in Iraq) statements that never seemed to quite get the job finished.

I hope they don't waste time, either.

I hope that President Obama follows through on his promise to consult with the Republican minority and to give it a voice in his administration. I hope that the Republicans accept Obama's offer to listen without becoming so cynical to think that Obama isn't really listening, and that he's only doing it to look good in the public eye.

I hope that the Republicans also realize that they were overwhelmingly voted out of office for a reason.

I hope that we head in the right direction, more than anything else. Because despite what dudes like Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity say, I love this country. Always have. I just want to be proud of it again.

Tomorrow is a good first step.

Link dump

2009-01-15T10:25:00.001-05:00

The stuff one stumbles across ...

1. OK, so I was reading The Consumerist and came across this a about Microsoft's "Songsmith", some software of which I'd been blissfully unaware ("Microsoft Attempts to Kill Music Forever with Songsmith Commercial").

A post in the comments section led me to MeFi music, where someone had run the isolated vocal track from Van Halen's "Runnin' With the Devil" through the software. Check out the results here, and make sure to turn your volume all the way up, even if you're at work. It's important. Trust me.

2. Via BoingBoing, I found this impressively incorrect (yet valiant) effort:

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

3. Via retrosabotage.com, Super Mario has to live with his decisions in a modified game level.

4. Via Instructables.com, how to make an amazing Atari 2600 lamp that looks like an old joystick.

5. Near and dear to my heart and my interests through the 80s, Scott Mortimer of Merrimack, N.H. is attempting to put together an entire set of 1983 Fleer Baseball Cards. The catch? To have each card autographed.

6. Who did that voice-over? Find out on voicechasers.com.

Fire, Inc.

2009-01-09T19:05:00.001-05:00

Everything gets tied together somehow, doesn't it? In weird, subtle ways? In ways that are unremarkable, won't change your life, and fill up a blog entry to make it seem like you've written something semi-substantial rather than just "here's a link to a video on YouTube?" Know what I mean?

At the very least, there are moments collected through life that seem so disparate and unrelated that all the sudden seem to become one and serve as a direct bridge between your own personal interests that you start to wonder what kind of cosmic, karmic glue is holding everything together in the first place. That "it really is a small world" kind of feeling.

Twenty-ish years ago were the days when there were only three TV networks, cable was in its relative infancy, and "Superstations" still roamed the planet. Channel 38 in Boston was one of them and, as such, they aired a lot of feature movies and local sports events (Red Sox games with Bob Montgomery and Ned Martin, lots of Bruins games, etc.). Most evenings they would air a movie (or two) on "The Movie Loft", hosted by Dana Hersey. Anyone who grew up in New England in the 80s remembers his voice.

My brother and I would stop everything we were doing if "The Warriors" came on. A cult classic in every sense, and worthy of its own post at some point. I think I gave my brother "Warriors"-themed Christmas gifts at least two or three times. An old VHS tape for sure, defiinitely a poster, perhaps a t-shirt?

(If you've never seen "The Warriors", by the way, the film is 30 years old and you've had plenty of opportunities by now. And also, shame on you.)

"The Warriors" was directed by Walter Hill, and co-starred Deborah Van Valkenburgh. Five years later, the duo paired up again in 1984's "Streets of Fire". I'd seen that one on the Movie Loft many, many years ago, too, but remembered little about it other than Rick Moranis was in it.

But the music, and the soundtrack ...

I remembered a song from the soundtrack being quite the hit on WTAG, Worcester's a.m. easy listening pop station: "I Can Dream About You" by Dan Hartman. The song was very catchy, and I remembered it because the Hartman is a white guy, and in the movie it's performed by a black doo-wop group.

But that was it ... I had no recollection of the plot, the stars, the rest of the soundtrack ... anything, really.

Thanks to the ability to stream Netflix movies via my XBox 360, I added "Streets of Fire" to my queue, figuring maybe I'd revisit it if the mood hit me. Nicole beat me to the punch, seeing in my list, and asked if we could watch it the other night.

It was absurd, ridiculous, and absolutely fantastic in a way that only disposable 1980's movies can be.

So not only are Deborah Van Valkenburgh (as Reva Cody, sister of the film's "hero") and Rick Moranis in it (as Billy Fish, a music agent), so is Michael Pare (as Tom Cody, misunderstood rebel with a heart of gold). Amy Madigan (as the singularly-named McCoy) plays almost the exact same character as Pare, except as a woman. A very cute, very young (19 years old) Diane Lane is Ellen Aim, Cody's former love interest and current love interest of Billy Fish (her manager), and the leader of the band Ellen Aim and the Attackers, who are apparently worshipped as god-like figures in whatever the hell city this movie is supposed to take place in.

More, you say? Willem Dafoe plays the villain, Raven Shaddock, who kidnaps Ellen Aim during a concert at the beginning of the movie, apparently just for shits and giggles. I don't think they ever actually explain his motivations. But if you were Shaddock, and thank your lucky stars you're not, you'd probably be ready to kidnap someone on a whim, too - having to wear latex overalls without a shirt and being surrounded by bikers whose motorcycles burst into flame with only the slightest provocation will do that to you. Literal "Streets of Fire" in this movie throughout.

(Not good enough? Robert Townsend is in the doo-wop band, Richard Lawson (who was part of the paranormal research team in "Poltergeist") is a police officer in a town where EVERYONE has a shotgun, and Bill Paxton plays Clyde the Bartender, because why wouldn't he.)

The kidnapping takes place as the band plays "Nowhere Fast" - a song I didn't remember at all up until Nicole and I watched the movie the other night.

Here's where it gets a little weird for me: literally minutes after the song ended, the movie barely fifteen minutes in, I had to look the soundtrack up on IMDB. "Nowhere Fast" was performed by Fire, Inc.

The lead singer of Fire, Inc.? Laurie Sargent.

The same Laurie Sargent I had seen countless times in concert in Boston in the earlier part of this decade with Orchestra Morphine after Mark Sandman died, then with their post-Morphine project, Twinemen.

Some of the best shows I ever saw (and taped!) were OM and Twinemen at the Lizard Lounge in Cambridge, where I would literally sit in the front row of the tables set up around the "stage" (in reality, just an empty spot on the floor in the middle of the room) mere feet away from her microphone.

Laurie Freakin' Sargent. Who knew? I wish I did, because if I knew then what I knew now (and had the song stuck in my head to nearly the point of torture - wonderful, wonderful torture), I'd have been compelled to say something to her about it.

This is an absolute gem of overlooked '80s awesomeness, and for days, I have not been able to get it out of my head.

I downloaded an mp3 of the song and put it on my iPod, and it's all I can listen to. Seriously. A 24-year-old song I hadn't heard for the better part of two decades and didn't remember at all is now just about the only song I have heard for the past three or four days.

Bring the dog out, listen to the song. Wash the dishes, listen to the song. Surf the internet, listen to the song.

I can't make it stop.

The Warriors -> Walter Hill -> Streets of Fire -> Fire, Inc. -> Laurie Sargent -> my ears

So here you have it, with my not-so-secret hope that maybe this gets stuck in your head, too: From the "Streets of Fire" soundtrack, "Nowhere Fast" by Laurie Sargent and Fire, Inc.

Aaron Perrino: I challenge you to dare Laurie Sargent to perform this song with you live with Dear Leader someday. And if she says yes, make sure I know well enough in advance to be there with my minidisc recorder.

Burning and freezing. Also, anyone want a stupid dog, cheap? (Christmas '08, Part I)

2009-01-02T00:05:00.000-05:00

We'll probably keep him, because we're suckers - and because we know that we can provide the best home for a dumbass dog such as he is, all things considered - but Joey's really been tempting us to take a trip to the hot dog factory lately. I'm mostly just kidding (but not completely).

He survived our occasionally white-knuckle drive in the wintry mix on the way to see our families before Christmas with little difficulty (he's actually a great car dog), but once we got there all bets were off.

First, he still feels compelled to mark any "new" house, at least a little bit. Second, he'll eat any food that he can reach (even stuff on counters), so we have to keep an eye on him constantly. Third, he had to spend the better part of a week with his old friend/nemesis Rocky, who was kinda freaked out to see our white half-husky/half-jackass again, especially on his own home turf. Fourth, in order to keep him calm during the day when there were so many people (and another dog) around, we had to both give him his anti-anxiety medication , Clomacalm (a life-saver if ever there was one), in the morning, and keep him on a leash in the house to make sure he didn't do anything stupid while unsupervised.

Ah ... but the devil is in the details. (Or is it 'the best laid plans'? Which cliche am I reaching for here?)

Nicole's mom came home from work while we were in the living room watching TV. She came in to say hello and take her coat off, and she put an open bag (the re-usable grocery sack kind) on the floor. On top of the pile of items in the bag was a little paper gift bag full of homemade cookies from one of her co-workers. Not missing the opportunity, Joey (still on his leash) swooped in and grabbed it in his mouth. Nicole managed to tear the cookies away from him, but the bag ripped and a shredded strip of paper fell to the floor between Joey's feet. Nicole's father went to grab the debris and you can guess what happened.

Without so much as a growl or warning of any kind whatsoever, Joey chomped down on his hand and wouldn't let go until I smacked him a few times (pretty hard, with an open hand) across his backside. The bite drew blood, which Nicole's dad ended up partially smearing across Joey's snout while trying to free himself, so it looked pretty bad when it was all over.

Joey had bitten me several months ago under different circumstances (long story short: I was trying to prevent him from choking on a bandage we'd applied to a cut he had on his leg, and he got defensive), but I thought that was just an unfortunate situation propelled by his own physical discomfort more than by any aggressive tendencies. Turns out, he's just kind of a douchebag sometimes, I guess. Also, there was no blood in my case.

In the end, a trip to the doctor's office the next day led to a prescription for light antibiotics but little else. Joey's future is questionable regarding further trips to Massachusetts, to say the least.

Worthy of note, in an unfortunate kind of way, was the incredible streak of bad luck with Nicole's family as it related to hand injuries:

Days before, Nicole suffered second degree burns to her hand due to a work-related incident. When one works in the food industry, as she does, there's an inherent risk of injury because of dangerous machinery, hot stoves and ovens, and everything that goes with using fancy-schmancy kitchen/factory equipment. It should come as no surprise, then, to learn that her burns resulted from a freak oatmeal incident in the cafeteria. Go figure. Pretty nasty stuff, to be honest. There's going to be a nice-sized scar, and her skin is slowly growning back over the pinkish strip of gross that she's currently keeping clean.

Not to be outdone, while we were visiting her family over the holidays, her mother burned her hand in a freak coffee-pot accident involving a mystery stream of scalding hot water, resulting in a nice patch of blistering skin on her wrist. Fortunately (?), Nicole had burn cream of her own with her and was able to jump-start the healing process without the need for a doctor. Then, the bite. Nicole's two brothers survived somehow, and I tempted fate by not wearing gloves or keeping my hands in my pockets for the rest of the trip.

***

The trip to Massachusetts was a mess. The plans we'd made fell through for the most part, because of the weather and because of my family's work-schedule. We had hoped to go to Worcester for the first half of the week to see my family, then go to Boston for the second half to see Nicole's, but the lingering cleanup from the previous week's ice storm and the threat of additional snow led us to take our chances on the slight window of opportunity we had to get out of New Jersey late on Saturday afternoon and go straight to her family's place.

It had snowed pretty hard in New Jersey on Friday morning and afternoon, slightly harder in Massachusetts. The forecast called for additional snow starting Sunday morning - up to ten inches, according to weather.com. We knew that if we didn't get out on Saturday evening, by which time the roads had been pretty well plowed and salted from the previous day's storm, we'd probably have to sit out Sunday, and possibly Monday too, since everything was going to freeze over. Since we're the only people in America without a four-wheel-drive SUV, apparently, we didn't want to risk travel on icy roads.

We packed up and hit the road as the sun was setting, so it was dark for pretty much the entirety of the trip. And when I say "packed up", I mean we could barely see out of the back window because of the bags full of gifts, clothes, and travel supplies. Plus, Joey was in the back seat, which prevented us from putting bags there with him, in case he got curious and wanted to start gnawing on things.

Somewhere in New York state, past the Tappan Zee bridge, we pulled into a rest stop that apparently hadn't yet escaped the last Ice Age. Not only were we freezing cold when we went to use the restrooms, I had to push the car from the front bumper while Nicole had the car in reverse with the pedal down because we had no traction in the snow that had built up from the snowfall the day before. Then, when we finally got out of the parking space, I had to go to the back of the car and push while Nicole was in drive because we got stuck AGAIN. Once we got back onto the highway we were fine, but we were questioning our decision to leave our apartment in the first place.

Then, in Connecticut, we couldn't tell if we were seeing black ice or just really wet, dark pavement. In the right lane, cars were cautiously traveling at a snail's pace. In the left, people were zooming by well over the speed limit. So who knew? All we knew was that we could barely see out of our back window, and had to be careful not only for ourselves, but for our dog. The best moment, in retrospect, was Nicole trying to see the road more clearly, turning on the high-beams. In a surprising development, we discovered that snow was actually falling fairly heavily, a fact we weren't aware of with just our regular beams on. Ignorance being bliss, she said "Ohhh ... kay ..." and turned the high beams back off. What we couldn't see couldn't hurt us.

Anyway, we finally made it to Boston a little after 10 p.m., and barely an hour after we arrived the streets were covered in at least an inch of fresh snow. The next morning, I opened the curtains and raised the shade to reveal a sloppy wonderland that we'd barely missed along the way. We didn't move the car again until Christmas day, which was a-ok with me.

The adventure will continue in Part II!

Hello, 2009

2008-12-31T23:40:00.003-05:00

Twenty minutes to midnight on 12/31/08, and I'm bailing because I'm cold, exhausted, and cold.

Time to pull my pants up to my nipples and move to Florida.

Farewell, 2008. You kinda sucked.

Onward and upward!

Snow, Christmas, and Metallica

2008-12-19T23:13:00.001-05:00

First of all, I apologize to anyone (all three of you) who might accidentally stop by this place looking for new content. This was another of my regular "dry spots", blog-wise, and I hope to get back on track in the coming days. No excuses this time around - mostly laziness, I guess. In my defense, though, I did change the layout of sonicplague.com, which I think is more user-friendly (especially the left-side links) and considerably less hideous than its predecessors. Not that I'll stop tinkering with it, though. And I'll probably screw it all up again, of course. Enjoy it while it lasts.

***

We were expecting some snow today, and we weren't disappointed. It started to fall at about 9:30 this morning, as I was headed up the street to the post office (which was a complete zoo, by the way). The ground was completely dry when I stepped outside my apartment, with a few flakes (big, fluffy ones) fluttering slowly to the ground. By the time I was finished waiting in line and started walking back to the apartment, the snow was sticking and the roads, sidewalks, and lawns were dusted. By the time I actually got back to my place (at about 10:15), it was pretty rough.

I've seen worse, of course, having grown up in Massachusetts. Last winter was pretty mild here, though, and the previous couple of winters were spent in Portland, Oregon, where snow is very rare (but enough to shut the city down for days on end). Though we only got maybe four or five inches in the end, this was probably the heaviest snowfall I've experienced in the last five years or so, so it was practically a new experience to me again.

One of the nice things about living in an apartment and not owning a home is that there's a grounds crew to (allegedly) take care of shoveling. Unfortunately, we didn't get any help until well after the snow stopped falling, so walking Joey was a bit of a treacherous endeavor ... but not nearly as treacherous as what Nicole had to go through.

Keep in mind that she works a little more than six miles away from the apartment, and on a normal day the drive is maybe 20 minutes, depending on traffic. She knew, via e-mail from her supervisor, that she could work from home if the weather was bad today, but when she left this morning at about 7 (as she does every day) the only noticeable weather condition was the cold temperature. She figured she'd go in for a couple of hours, then head home when the weather turned.

So I got home from the post office, and gave her a call to give her a head's-up that it was getting nasty out there. When she answered, she was in the Target parking lot, as she wanted to grab a couple of things before coming home. See you in half an hour, she said. I was going to walk Joey, I told her, and if she beat me home I'd be there soon. As Joey and I made our way through the neighborhood, the big fluffy flakes turned into small frozen darts, and the wind started picking up a bit.

Again, this was sometime between 10:15 and 10:30. Joey and I came back from our brisk and semi-slippery walk a little after 11. A little later, Nicole called my cell and said she was trying to get home but the weather was "terrifying", and she'd be at least another hour. Something else to keep in mind: we drive a normal, human sized automobile - a Mazda 3. Unlike, roughly, EVERYONE ELSE in this state, we don't have four wheel drive SUV to cart us around. We have a little, two-to-four person-friendly, mileage-happy little hatchback.

In the space of that hour, the storm took a dramatic turn for the worse, and there was not a plow to be seen. I spent a good amount of time looking out the window, fretting about the conditions, and wishing she could magically beam back to the apartment, Star Trek-style.

By the time she got through the door, we had a couple of inches of snow and it hadn't slowed up at all. She looked exhausted and worn out, and I was finally able to relax, knowing that she was home safely. We were both stressed out.

I've never really had to drive in the snow (always took the T in Boston, always walked or took the Max in PDX), so I don't know what it was like for her, but it couldn't have been fun and I didn't envy anyone caught off-guard by the fast-moving storm.

On the plus side, we were able to kick back and watch "The Thing" and a few episodes of "30 Rock" to kick off the weekend (via the greatest bit of technology to come into my life in the past couple of years: Netflix streaming on X-Box 360. Simply a remarkable service offered at no additional cost by two companies I already love.)

On the downside, though, is the timing of this weather pattern. Our plan was to head to Massachusetts on Saturday morning to visit my family for a couple of days, then to spend a couple of days at Nicole's parents' place. My mom, though, is still trying to get through cleanup of a messy ice-storm in Worcester, so it's all up in the air.

Long story short, the ice storm knocked her power out for days, and apparently there are still some electrical wires and pieces of tree down throughout her neighborhood. To make things worse, the branches, trunks, and whatever else apparently have to be specially removed (ground up, then ultimately incinerated, if I understand correctly) because parts of the city - including my mom's - are infested with Asian beetles. So she can't just expect the city to remove them the way it normally would.

Though her house itself avoided serious damage (no trees through windows or the roof, for instance), some cables of some sort are hanging perilously low over her driveway, and debris from the infested trees are (conceivably, according to my mom) going to block plows from getting her street cleaned off. Despite the blustery conditions here in New Jersey, Worcester is facing at least twice as much snow.

So who knows ... if we could, in fact, get to Worcester tomorrow, we might not be able to get to her house. And if we did, thanks to cables hanging low, we might not be able to park. And we can't leave the car on the street due to rules about snow parking.

And on top of that, there's another storm coming in on Sunday, too. What we thought would be a week-long "vacation" with family might be a condensed, seemingly non-stop road trip crammed into a couple of days. With the dog in the back seat, at that.

And now, who knows. It's all up in the air. At least we're not flying anywhere.

***

In more trivial news, Metallica.

I still can't believe they put out such an outstanding album, after almost twenty years of disappointment. And not only is the album great, the video for "All Nightmare Long" is a blast (though it has nothing to do with the song itself, which is somewhat distracting if you're trying to "follow along" somehow).

Zombies, Russian scientists, giant robots, and weather-control. Aces.

Further, there's a great entry over at Forgetomori about Tunguska, Russian science experiments, balloon bombs, and some of the other stuff used in the video as they relate to actual historical context. Cool stuff.

And then there's this newly released trailer for Guitar Hero: Metallica, for which I absolutely cannot wait.

Stay safe and warm, everyone!

NFL Week 12

2008-11-23T10:41:00.000-05:00

Last week I lost Denver/Atlanta, lost New Orleans/KC, won Arizona/Seattle, won Tennessee/Jacksonville, and ~~lost~~ ~~won~~ re-lost Pittsburgh/San Diego. What a mess that was. An exciting mess, of course, but a mess nonetheless.

So I should have been 3-2, I ended up 2-3 (because of a blown call by the refs). I'd post my winnings/losings, fake-cash wise, but I think I messed up my math and I need to re-do it. I used to be an engineering student at BU, you know. I switched to Communications mid-way through, and now I can't do simple arithmetic. Seems about right. Anyway.

This week my picks are with Yahoo! odds as of 10:31 a.m. on Sunday morning.

There aren't a lot of games on the board that I feel strongly about this week, and my written justifications for picks in previous weeks prove to be too embarrassing, so let's go straight to the action and predict another 2-3 record for the week:

1. Washington (-3) vs. Seattle at Seattle (for $20)
2. NJ Giants (-3) vs. Arizona at Arizona (for $20)
3. NJ Jets vs. Tennessee (-5.5) at Tennessee (for $20)
4. Chicago (-7.5) vs. St. Louis at St. Louis (for $20)
5. San Francisco vs. Dallas (-9.5) at Dallas (for $20)

The Legion of Foreign Superheroes

2008-11-21T10:06:00.001-05:00

My friend JD posted this clip of "Turkish Batman and Robin" on Facebook, and it reminded me of a bootleg Japanese Spiderman DVD I saw at a comic book show once. Sure enough, I found a clip on YouTube.

For your viewing pleasure (?), sit back, relax, and "enjoy" the following:

Turkish Batman and Robin:

Japanese Spiderman:

Indian Superman:

NFL Week 11

2008-11-16T09:43:00.001-05:00

Let's not talk about that Rams/Jets game last week. And though Miami won their game against the Seahawks, they didn't cover the spread. On the other hand, Atlanta won handily, Kansas City hung in and covered by a healthy margin, and the Giants held up their end of the bargain. A record of 3-2 with fake $20 per game earns me $20 more than I started with, which puts me up a whole FIVE DOLLARS through 10 weeks. But I'm out of the red, for now, and back with a positive balance.

Odds via Yahoo! at 9:20 a.m. on Sunday morning.

Denver at Atlanta (-6.5) at Atlanta for $20:
I wasn't sold on Denver when they were 4-1, and I'm not sold on them today vs. a surprisingly good, Matt Ryan-led Falcons team at home.

Tennessee (-3) at Jacksonville for $20:
Jacksonville is 1-3 at home, and Tennessee is still undefeated. If the spread were larger, I might not be so inclined to make this pick, but I think the Titans can win by more than a field goal, and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that the Titans used to be the Houston Oilers.

San Diego vs. Pittsburgh (-5) at Pittsburgh for $20:
San Diego barely held on last week at home against the Chiefs. This week, they're on the road against a much, much better team. Even though they're only 6-3 and tied with the Ravens in the AFC North, and even though the Titans are still undefeated, if I had to pick - through 10 weeks - which team would win the AFC and go to the Superbowl, I think it would be the Steelers. They're experienced, tough, and gritty. Now that I've said that, watch Ben Roethlisberger get knocked out for the season today. Sorry, Pittsburgh!

New Orleans (-5.5) vs. Kansas City at Kansas City for $20:
Watching my fake money fly away ... goodbye, fake money! I'm taking the Chiefs, and here's why: they've lost their last three games by 4, 3, and 1 point against the Jets, Buccaneers, and Chargers - three very decent teams. They're playing well, with nothing to show for it. Plus, they're due for a win, and they're at home. This is the upset special for the week. All of the numbers would indicate the Saints' offense will roll over the Chiefs' defense, and maybe it will, but my gut tells me KC covers at the very least. Of course, my gut has led me to a .500 record so far, so what do I know. As a side note, my gut also likes donuts.

Arizona (-3) vs. Seattle at Seattle for $20:
I have to stop picking so many road teams. The spread is so small this week, though, and I think the Cardinals are so much better than the Seahawks in just about every way, shape, and form. So I gotta go with Arizona, right?

3-2, here I come!

More Sonic, Less Plague

2008-11-12T23:29:00.001-05:00

I finally updated my sonicplague.com jukebox. I collect a lot of live shows, so I thought it might be fun to grab a couple of live performances off of the stuff on my iPod (rather than go through my archived DVDs, for the sake of convenience). Then I started thinking about some of the great cover songs I've come across, and there you go. An instant, themed mini-collection. Check 'em out, if you're into that sort of thing.

1. The Black Crowes "Highway to Hell" (AC/DC) - If the Black Crowes are on the road on Halloween, they do a mini-set of covers prior to their headlining performance. The first time they did this, if I remember correctly, they went onstage as "Jelly Donut" and performed Elvis Presley songs. A couple of years ago they were The Bitch Boys and did Beach Boys covers (including a cringe-inducing version of the already cringe-inducing "Kokomo"). I should dig that one up again ... just so I can re-bury it. This is from their performance as "BC/DC" (in Chicago, I think?) Cool stuff!

2. The Sheila Divine "Killing Moon" (Echo and the Bunnymen) - I personally recorded this at the Middle East Downstairs when TSD opened for The Chameleons. The song had a bit of a resurgence thanks to the movie Donnie Darko, which had come out maybe a year or so before this version was recorded? It's the first of two EatB covers discovered on my iPod.

3. Tracy Bonham "Tired of Waiting" (The Kinks) - I also recorded this one, this time at the Kendall Cafe on a blustery winter night. Tracy should be much more famous than she is, and has a terrific catelog that extends far beyond "Mother, Mother". I think Green Day covered this as a b-side, too.

4. Faith No More "Glorybox" (Portishead) - I have absolutely no idea where this came from. For that matter, I have no idea where Mike Patton came from. Outer space somewhere, I suspect. Planet Awesome, perhaps. This is one of my favorite live covers of all time because it's so unexpected.

5. Dear Leader "Born to Run" (Bruce Springsteen) - Suggested repeatedly by my great friend Bill (who also is responsible for the recording), the band finally played it live. I wasn't there, unfortunately, but I've listened to the bootleg repeatedly. I love the audience's "Whoa!" at about 1:20 in. Lots of fun. More fun than actually living in New Jersey, that's for sure.

6. Buffalo Tom "Here Comes a Regular" (The Replacements) - I recorded this live at the Somerville Theater in 2001. One of my favorite bands, Buffalo Tom, led by one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Bill Janovitz, playing one of my favorite songs by one of my other favorite bands, the Replacements, and written by another one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Paul Westerberg. This is just such a beautiful song, and an amazing performance. Admittedly, I'm biased, but if you disagree with me, you're wrong. Sorry. You just are. I have a great Paul Westerberg story / show from a few years ago that I need to post sometime soon.

7. Guns N' Roses "Theme From The Godfather" - I'm a sucker for any Slash solo. I admire and respect what guys like Clapton and Eddie Van Halen have done, but if you ask me who my favorite guitarist is, Slash is the man. Perfect tone, amazing melodies ... I have no idea where this performance was recorded, either. I must have downloaded it somewhere.

8. Metallica - "Stone Cold Crazy" (Queen) - recorded in September 2008 in London, England, I believe. A friend of mine e-mailed me the .mp3. I don't know anything other than that about this particular performance. This was originally recorded in the studio for Rubaiyat: Elektra's 40th Anniversary compilation, but this is the only live version of which I'm aware.

9. Orbit - "Do It Clean" (Echo and the Bunnymen) - recorded at TT The Bear's on March 2001, around the time "XLR8R" was released, if I recall correctly.

Political Fallout

2008-11-10T12:18:00.000-05:00

Part of me wishes that I was semi-famous, so that I had a substantial number of readers to piss off or preach to. As it is, I don't know how many people actually visit this site at all, or for what reasons. I don't have a site-counter. But I know Lincoln visits, though I'm not deserving to have him (given that he writes to me, and my intentions to write back never seem to come to fruition). I know I have one reader listed as a "follower" of this blog over on the blogspot side (comeaujim.blogspot.com, if you're not reading the FeedBurner version over on sonicplague.com). I know I've had a few people come over to download some of the bootlegs I've posted.

But other than that, I can't say for sure how far my admittedly (very) limited reach actually extends.

I say this because now that the election is over, I feel the urge to go outside somewhere with a bullhorn and tell some people to just GET OVER IT already! Instead, I use this space, hoping my words find ears somewhere.

President-Elect Barack Obama won the election cleanly, despite fears from some (mostly the frothing-at-the-mouth right wing talk radio crowd and, of course, the increasingly unreliable Drudge Report) that the whole ACORN issue would cause voter fraud. He won the popular vote by about eight million votes. In a country of 300+ million people, perhaps that doesn't seem like a lot. But it seems impressive to me, especially when one takes into consideration how it looks numerically: 8,000,000. That averages 160,000 per state (granted, state populations vary wildly, but you get the point).

In terms of the Electoral College, it was a landslide victory.

America voted. We saw democracy in action. And when the results came back unfavorably to some, what happened?

Suddenly, the sky fell. The world ended. America had a communist leader. And also a secret Muslim with an agenda to destroy the country.

When George W. Bush became President in January 2001, these same people were probably all too willing to ignore the fact that Al Gore won the popular vote. They probably turned a deaf ear to the discussion of issues concerning flaws in electronic voting machines, or with the Florida recount, or of Katherine Harris acting in her own party's best interests rather than tending to the actual will of the people. His "victory" was deemed to be a "mandate" of the American people. (In a twist of linguistic humor, I love how he's against gay marriage yet readily embraces a "mandate". Go figure.) He was re-elected in 2004, by only three million votes.

And yes, for the record, I realize that not all of John McCain's supporters, or those who voted for him simply because he's a Republican even if they didn't like him specifically as their candidate, or even those who claimed they would vote for him but didn't vote at all, are so vociferous in their disappointment that Obama will be our number 44. Many - the great majority, I suspect - understand that a popular vote will leave some disappointed. It's the nature of the beast.

But the Sean Hannitys of the world, the rabid right-wing bloggers ... they're a different breed. And they need to get over it.

They are the people who decided that those who dared question George W. Bush were un-American terrorist sympathizers. This is a time of war!, after all. How dare you?

Under these rules, the ones I did not define but apparently was subject to for daring to question a failure of a businessman and ultimate insider who was "elected" by an even slimmer margin under what can generously be defined as "unusual" circumstances and who, for eight years, did more to prove than disprove his public appearance of incompetence and wanted only to govern the half of the country that voted for him, everyone else be damned ...

Under THESE rules, can I now say that 57.5 million McCain voters are now "anti-American"? I mean, they voted against the President Elect, right? They disagree with the soon to be President Obama! You're either with us or against us, right? Why do they hate America so much?

But no, of course not. Because it's ridiculous. It's an absolutely ridiculous argument.

We, as Americans, are going to disagree. It's part of the political process. It's why our process, coarse and gravelly as it may be, still has the potential to be so wonderful.

It's a new day. It's a new start. But before he's even been inaugurated, there are websites that call to impeach him. There are Facebook groups echoing the sentiment.

Those who cling to some false ideal that we're living in an unrealistic "Leave It To Beaver" world that no longer exists (if, in fact, it ever did) and that Barack Obama is going to destroy it really need to calm down, turn off Fox News for a few minutes, and chill out a bit.

We got through eight years of George W. Bush. Something tells me we'll all survive Barack Obama, too.

I have great optimism that his Presidency will be a positive one, and that his youth and energy will serve our country well.

He's like a surgeon treating a patient who just came into the ER: he may not be able to fix everything instantly, but at least he'll try to stop the bleeding and stabilize the victim.

Speaking of #43, Nicole and I hadn't gone to the movies in a while so we decided to check out Oliver Stone's "W." while it's still in theaters.

It was incredibly, horribly, and disastrously boring.

It offered no insight and no perspective. I learned nothing.

It was bereft of sarcasm, wit, or humor. In fact, if anything, the movie was a sympathetic portrayal of our outgoing President. Essentially, Stone decided to hinge the entire film around Bush's relationship with his father, #41, while completely glossing over virtually every controversy to have emerged in the last eight years.

Despite an incredible cast of terrific actors (whose performances, I have to admit, were mostly impressive), I could not wait for the movie to end so I could leave the theater. Despite my joking around on the way into the theater, not realizing how poorly spent those two hours of my life would be, perhaps I would have been better off if I'd accidentally taken a seat inide the wrong theater for a showing of "High School Musical 3" or "Beverly Hills Chihuahua." My life might have been richer for the experience.

What I'm saying is, don't bother. Much like the last few years of W's actual presidency, I simply sat there hoping it would end sooner than later, and that as few people would die while watching it as possible.

John McCain's concession speech was gracious and well spoken, and I feel like the "old" John McCain - the one I compared to Smeagol before he turned into Gollum - came back, even if only for an instant.

THIS was the John McCain I knew and liked up until about a year ago. If THIS John McCain had run for President, he might have won.

I still think someone in the RNC "got to" him somehow, and made him say things during the campaign that he didn't actually believe and didn't feel comfortable saying. I still think Sarah Palin was foisted upon him. I still think he deserves a better legacy than the one he'll be left with, given that many will remember him for his poorly-run, fear-based campaign against Barack Obama.

I'm sure we'll never learn all of the details, but I'd love for him to write a tell-all memoir of how the 2008 election actually played out from his side. I think it would be illuminating.

Whereas there seems to be a legitimate, palpable hatred of Obama by some on the far-right, I don't think a similar view was ever shared by the left about John McCain. On a personal level, I was disappointed by him, and I think he resorted to taking liberties with the truth on more than an occasion or two, but I never hated the guy. If anything, I felt a degree of sympathy for the poor bastard.

But I don't feel too sorry for others on the right who have decided in the wake of defeat to eat their own. As an observer from the outside looking in on the Republican party, watching them all blame everyone else is terrific entertainment. I wouldn't have thought twice about the allegations that Sarah Palin didn't know that Africa was a continent and not a country except that it was reported by Fox News. It may not be true, but it's a lot funnier to think that it is. And nobody will admit to responsibility for her wardrobe, either. The McCain campaign and the RNC both blame each other.

Some on the right even say that McCain lost because he wasn't conservative enough. So naturally, instead of voting for him, they decided to vote for "the most liberal Senator in history" instead?" Sure, why not ... if that's what you want to go with, guys, good luck.

And feel free to run Palin back out there in 2012, too. That'll be hilarious.

A side note: I'm actually starting to like Shepard Smith. I used to dislike him immensely, but he's actually grown on me a bit. Shep, my apologies - mostly.

From the (almost) "better late than never" collection:

"10 Sci-Fi Alternatives to Obama/McCain 08" (I'm particularly fond of Zod08)

Obama Headlines - 11/05/2008

Boston.com's "Big Picture" gallery of Obama photos

Change.gov

NFL Week 10

2008-11-08T18:39:00.001-05:00

Last week I had a winning record!

Tampa won but didn't cover, and the Jets beat the Bills for my two losses.

Detroit lost by four, but I picked them to cover, so that was a win. Atlanta shut out Oakland. The Eagles won by plenty against the Seahawks. And Sen. Obama became the President Elect.

So I went 3-2 with a big bonus pick. At twenty bucks a game, I netted only $20 for the week, but given my recent performance, I'll take it. Through nine weeks, I'm now only $15 down.

Yahoo odds as of 6:30 p.m. on Saturday lead me to the following picks:

St. Louis vs. New Jersey Jets (-8.5) at New Jersey for $20:
St. Louis is due for a win, and New Jersey is due for a loss. Perhaps this isn't the week this will happen, but my gut tells me the Rams can cover at the very least.

New Jersey Giants vs. Philadelphia (-3) at Philly for $20:
I'm a sucker for road teams and defending Superbowl Champs, I guess.

Seattle vs. Miami (-8) at Miami for $20:
When was the last time Miami was favored by that many points? I'll take 'em anyway.

New Orleans vs. Atlanta (-1.5) at Atlanta for $20:
Sure, why not. Whenever I try to explain my picks, the exact opposite result occurs. So I'll just pick and keep my mouth shut.

Kansas City vs. San Diego (-14.5) at San Diego for $20:
KC lost its last two games, but the scores were pretty close. The Chargers have also lost its last two. The spread is just too big to pass up.

YES WE DID!

2008-11-04T23:06:00.001-05:00

Election Day

2008-11-04T15:36:00.001-05:00

To turn on CNN, or local TV stations, or to (shudder) check what the Drudge headlines say, one might think that casting a ballot in today's election will result in long lines, huge delays, and possible physical altercations. I can't say that other people in other locations may not face these, among others, as possibilities, but I can say that my trip to the voting station set up in the firehouse in my district was quick and painless.

Given that this was my first time as a New Jersey voter, I had no idea what to expect in terms of turnout, parking, etc., I decided to take my iPod and walk down to the station, which only takes 20 minutes or so. When I arrived at approximately 8:30 this morning, there was no line outside. The firetrucks were parked across the street, and plentiful signs indicated that the booths had been open since 6:00.

One of the (few) benefits of living in the suburbs, especially in a town like Morristown, is that the population is relatively small. I'm a big-city kind of guy, personally, and prefer the hustle and bustle of crowds. I never minded the T stations being packed in Boston, and never had a problem with the phalanx of umbrellas I might encounter while crossing the streets in Portland. But here, it's different. There are a lot fewer people, and/or I hit the polls at just the right time.

From the time I walked through the front door to the time I walked back out, I was inside maybe ten minutes. I brought my voter registration card just in case, but they found me on their voter list almost immediately. I turned around and walked into the curtained voting booth all of eight feet behind the check-in table, and made my picks, knowing full well that New Jersey is apparently going to strongly vote Obama anyway, regardless of my choice.

Here's the thing, though - the one thing that I really, really hate about polls and the influence they could conceivably have prior to the one poll that actually counts:

What if voters stay home, because they think their candidate has such a big lead in the pre-election polling, and the candidate not favored to win comes out on top? Every vote does count, even if only to cement and secure an outcome. And, if nothing else, there is an odd sense of satisfaction and pride that comes with simply making a selection. For better or worse, our voices get heard. In a country like this, in a democracy like ours, that's the whole point, isn't it?

That said, I think constructive changes could be made to the process. I would advocate any/all of the following:

1. Oregon, for instance, allows voting by mail, which provides for privacy (in the home) and convenience (no waiting in lines, just dropping a ballot in a collection box).

2. Not all states have "early voting" - I don't understand why not. I think everyone was pretty tired of non-stop election coverage these past few weeks, and it's been especially painful in the last few days prior to election day. The news can make a big deal about the undecideds all they want, but about 90+ percent of voters already knew who they were going to vote for well before today. Why make them wait? Sure, some bombshell might drop in the last remaining hours to make someone who'd already cast a ballot change their mind, but seriously - what are the odds?

3. I prefer this one, myself: Make federal election day (by law, the Tuesday following the first Monday in November) a national holiday. Everyone gets the day off from work, and we all go vote. According to the Wikipedia link I provided, John Conyers (D-MI) has introduced a bill that would do just that. I think it's a great idea. (Also, the Monday after the Super Bowl. Someone get to work on that one, too.)

Watching the polls over the past week or so left me repeatedly asking myself: mere days left in an important, wall-to-wall covered election, and there are still undecideds? HOW? Seriously, these guys are (pardon the obvious unintended racial implications) as different as night and day! One or the other! Come on, now! My goodness. These are the people I hate getting stuck behind at an ice cream counter. "Can I try the strawberry? Can I try the pistachio? Can I try the strawberry again?"

Then I wipe the tear from my eye ...

So what of my vote? I think it's obvious where my political beliefs lie. I say beliefs, rather than loyalties, because despite what people like Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity might say, I consider myself an American first, and a liberal second.

I have had enough of hearing that I am a socialist, or a communist, or that I'm not "putting country first", whatever that means.

I love my country, imperfect as it is. I showed up to vote today. This is a democracy. I can think of nothing more truly American, nothing more patriotic, nothing that "puts country first" more than voting. If they don't like who I'm voting for, fine. Perhaps they should do a better job of trying to convince people why their candidate is better suited for the office instead of complaining about the personal choice that I have made.

But to them, I'm a socialist. I'm a communist.

Yes, I believe in universal healthcare. I believe it is a basic human right to receive medical attention when it is warranted, no matter one's income or social status.

Oh, but that's socialist!

But name-calling doesn't make people healthier, does it? According to this CNN article, almost 45 million people don't have health care coverage. Unreal. It doesn't suit my conscience well to know that someone who works hard at Wal-Mart, for instance, could fall on some ice, break a bone, and be responsible for hundreds of dollars worth of fees. And I don't even want to think about what happens if someone gets cancer.

According to WalMartWatch.com, "Wal-Mart is the largest private employer in the United States, with over 1.3 million associates, yet they fail to give health insurance to 54 percent of its employees."

That's sickening to me.

Remember the big to-do in the debate when John McCain accused Barack Obama of wanting to fine companies for not providing health care to their employees? THIS is EXACTLY what Obama was talking about - for political reasons, I understand why Obama didn't specifically say "I'm talking about companies like Wal-Mart", but he SHOULD have said it to drive the point home.

That's one of the many things that, over time, it became apparent to me that John McCain didn't understand. It's one of the many, many reasons I found Obama to be the superior candidate.

I had many other problems with McCain, of course.

For all the accusations of "flip-flopping" thrown at John Kerry in 2004, McCain has absolutely skated by his own obvious changes of heart in this election cycle. He would do well to remember this every time he complains about media bias. He largely got a free pass on his dramatic reversals on two key issues: abortion rights and President Bush's tax cuts. To his credit, Obama chose to dwell on his own ideas and concentrating on his own strengths, but he could have easily chosen to demonstrate via Rove-ian negative ads just how severely McCain's opinions have shifted.

McCain, on the other hand, jumped from topic to topic, whenever some relatively insignificant "controversy" was created by Drudge, or Fox News, or conservative radio. As far as I can see, though, he never really gave an adequate, clear representation of what he himself wanted to do. More often than not, he seemed content to focus on why Obama shouldn't be president rather than why he should. I think voters, to their credit, finally got sick of that, after eight years of nonsense from the usual suspects.

Bill Ayers has not been in the public eye in decades. He's a non-factor in policy in every way, shape, and form. Granted, perhaps I'm naive in as much as I was born after his involvement with the Weathermen. But to pin his actions to Obama? Weak.

Jeremiah Wright? Don't like Rev. Wright? Fine, don't vote for him for President. I voted for Barack Obama, not Rev. Wright. In fact, and I've stated this previously on this blog, I'm still waiting for a candidate to pander to ME, the secular liberal.

A side note: If there's any position on which I disagree with Sen. Obama, it's this one. While I respect his religious beliefs, he would be an even better candidate in my eyes if he were to just say, 'You know what? Religion doesn't provide our troops armor and ensure their safety. Religion doesn't fill our potholes and keep our bridges strong and safe. Religion doesn't pay off our debts.' And then just leave it alone. No religion, no religious issues. Done and done. Further, and this came up in the VP debate, is the issue of gay marriage, which Senator Biden said that he (and Obama) is against. He spoke of allowing benefits such as visitation rights to sick partners, but that's not good enough for me.

If I were a candidate, I'd say that I believed strongly in gay rights, and that a homosexual couple should be allowed to marry just as any heterosexual couple can. Tradition, schmadition. Tradition used to dicate that a dowry was exchanged when a marriage was to take place. We get along just fine with that change, don't we? Who am I - what right do I have - to say that two people who love each other and are committed to each other can't marry? It's simply not right, in my opinion.

And the argument that it "cheapens" marriage to everyone else is bullshit. If two other people getting married somehow changes the way you feel about your own spouse, perhaps you shouldn't have been married in the first place. And frankly, that would seem appropriate ... where does the 50% divorce rate come into play, as far as "tradition" is concerned?

Gay marriage: yes. I'm all for it. I'm straight, and I love my wife. My relationship is not intimidated by the relationship(s) of others.

McCain should also be questioned regarding his selection of the vacuous Sarah Palin as his running-mate.

Something about this still seems off to me ... I wrote about this before, and I thought it seemed a little too conspiratorial then (but less so now), but I'm not sure McCain wanted her. Many others have speculated that he actually wanted to pick Joe Lieberman (who would have had the distinction of losing the Vice Presidency for two different political parties), and in retrospect he probably should have chosen Mitt Romney (who - and I say this as a former resident of Massachusetts - I still think is a fraud). I don't like him, either, but he would have given McCain a strategic advantage by having a "business guy" campaigning with him.

Why do I mention this, obvious as it is? Because the John McCain we see now is not the same John McCain the country got to know eight years ago. I liked that version, even if I disagreed with it. The current version, on the other hand, is too cranky and seemingly mean-spirited.

I can't prove this, of course, but I think McCain was sold a losing bill of goods by the controlling Republican think-tank that really didn't want him to be their candidate anyway. Meaning: Rove, Cheney, the Project for the New American Century cabal, and others that may have gotten its claws into the current Bush administration. Fox News had branded Rudy Giuliani "America's Mayor" and seemed intent to push him as the Republican candidate succeeding George W. Bush prior to the primaries, for instance. I don't think the Republican leadership thought McCain would end up winning over the voters.

But somehow they got to McCain and convinced him that he needed to follow their blueprint to maintain the White House. McCain, who was opposed by the religious right at first (and never seemed to be much of a religious guy to begin with), suddenly started receiving endorsements from prominent religious types, which I don't think would have happened had he not started playing ball with these guys.

Again, maybe this is all crazy talk, but it seems to fit to me.

Believing that he needed their help to win, the "maverick" followed their lead. The flip-flopping started. Suddenly he was anti-abortion rights. Then Sarah Palin showed up out of nowhere. And the real mud-slinging began.

McCain never seemed comfortable with this approach to me, which is why Palin became even more prominent. The bulldog with lipstick had no reservations about what she was saying, and, in fact, seemed to enjoy throwing a good smear out there once in a while (and by once in a while, I mean every time she opens her mouth at a rally).

Another side note: I hadn't heard that amazingly offensive and insensitive Palin joke until a couple of days ago, when my good friend Bryan (who loves a good offensive joke as much as anyone) mentioned that even he couldn't repeat it on-line. And if HE couldn't repeat it, I knew it had to be pretty bad. I googled it based on his hints, and sure enough, it was just ... wow. Serious wow. And even surer than sure enough, my brother texted it to me without hesitation or regret hours later.

And no, I'm not going to repeat it here, either.

So Palin, who doesn't understand the issues well enough to have an intelligent conversation about them, became the attack dog for an uncomfortable old man whom his own party voted for but didn't really want. And the discomfort grew, and it became anger. And then their followers became uncomfortable and angry, and we all know how their campaign stops became ... uncomfortable and agry - sometimes in horrible, horrible ways.

"Vote McCain, not Hussein!"

Really? Really, that's what you're offering? That's what's going to earn you the White House? I certainly hope America is smarter than that.

And now, once again, it has resulted in people who aren't voting for McCain/Palin being called socialists, communists, traitors, treasonous, and even worse. And Sen. Obama, well, he's a secret Muslim, to boot.

The GOP and Fox News can claim all they want that it's been the same coming from the left, but it really hasn't. The left and its supporters, while hardly perfect, haven't been nearly as vitriolic or venomous as those on the right, at least as I see it. Perhaps I'm blinded by my own political persuasions, but to me, it's not even close.

But I am glad it's almost over. This stage, at least.

There will be spin in the next few days. There will be talk of voter disenfranchisement, this time from the right. There will be attempts to use "voter fraud" as an excuse for certain states' outcomes (by those who don't realize the difference between registration and actual voting - not that I condone registration fraud, either, of course). There will be more name calling and mud slinging.

But it will be over. I hope we move forward.

I also hope that Obama wins with 51% of the vote or more, and that he wins at least 325 electoral college votes. Then, it's undeniable that the country has chosen, and that the decision is fairly definitive.

In a way, oddly, I hope Obama loses Ohio, too. Ohio is home of the greatest portion of the whole ridiculous ACORN controversy. If McCain can win Ohio, he can't whine about the "fraud" issue there, and how it somehow "tainted" the national results. It diminishes that argument to nearly nothing but dust blowing in the breeze.

I don't dislike John McCain - I don't want to dislike him, at least. A few weeks ago I reviewed the new Metallica record, and I compared Bob Rock to Grima Wormtongue.

I also offer that John McCain has been seduced by the power of the Presidency. It has become his Precious, and he has become its Gollum. Somewhere, deep inside, his Smeagol is trying to find its way back out. I hope it does, before it is destroyed. The John McCain I want to believe exists is a good and honorable man, and I certainly respect and admire his sacrifices for our country. The John McCain I've seen in the past few months, though, is a shell of that man, and that saddens me. It truly does.

I honestly think that McCain was forced into a position in which he had to say things he didn't want to say and do things he doesn't really believe in.

I also believe that Barack Obama has spoken from the heart, and believes that what he's saying, doing, and proposing is for the best of the country, and not just for himself and his party.

I hope he wins the Presidency tonight.

And if he does, I hope he understands that a lot of people like me are counting on him to keep his word.

This is about more than him, and it's about more than beating John McCain, and it's about more than fixing what George W. Bush has done. (Actually, it kind of is about fixing what George W. Bush has done, but whatever ;) )

The bottom line: no matter what the result is, I have done my part. I voted.

Did you?

NFL picks - week 9

2008-11-02T12:11:00.001-05:00

Due to a very undeserved vacation in Orlando last week (thanks to my incredibly generous wife), I wasn't able to make picks for week 8. In week 7, I successfully covered the spread with the Titans and the New York Football Giants (thanks to a safety!). The freakin' Jets lost outright to the Raiders. The Bucs and Texans both won, but didn't cover (the Bucs won by 10 but the line was 10.5 (dammit!), and the Texans won by 7 but the line was 9.5).

So once again, a 2-3 record for the week. This is getting ridiculous.

My overall record is a lousy 16-19. If you look at my cash distribution last week, though, I broke even. I put $30 on the Titans and $20 on the Giants, with $50 on the other three games combined. Halfway through the season, I'm $35 down.

Like I say, it's a good thing I don't *actually* gamble money on the games, because I clearly have no idea what I'm doing.

Not that that's going to stop me from this week's predictions, using the odds as listed on Yahoo as of 12:01 p.m. on Sunday, an hour before the game begin. There are some great games on the schedule this week!

1. Tampa Bay (-9.5) vs. Kansas City (at Kansas City) for $20:
Larry Johnson is suspended again, and Tampa continues to impress (and surprise) me.

2. Buffalo (-5) vs. New York Jets (at Buffalo) for $20:
Because they're in Buffalo.

3. Detroit vs. Chicago (-12.5) (at Chicago) for $20:
On one hand, Detroit has played competitive football the last few weeks with nothing to show for it. On the other hand, Chicago is at home. My gut tells me that Chicago wins the game, but I think the spread is too big, so I'm ~~throwing my money away on~~ picking the Lions to cover this week.

4. Atlanta (-3) vs. Oakland (at Oakland) for $20:
Picking against the Raiders every week has to pay off more often than not, right?

5. Philadelphia (-6.5) vs. Seattle (at Seattle) for $20:

Like a dumbass, I've once again chosen four road teams. 2-3, here I come!

Guitar Hero: Obama vs. McCain

2008-11-02T10:49:00.001-05:00

HEAVY METAL - update #1: so far, this sucks.

2008-10-29T19:00:00.001-04:00

Eating is going to be an issue.

As you can see from the photos below, I have large upper front teeth (what grade school bullies might call "beaver" teeth). Additionally, in the front middle of the bottom row of teeth, one tooth is "short", especially compared to its elongated neighbor (to its left in real life, to its right in the photos).

I also have / had an overbite, which is no longer a problem, since the brackets are too big for me to put my top jaw over the lower. If I try, the bottom of my upper teeth collide with the brackets on the bottom. The only contact between teeth with the braces installed is between the upper left front tooth and the lower left front tooth.

The middle picture shows what my mouth now looks like when "closed". See the problem?

My molars don't touch.

I can't chew food. I can't grind it into small pieces to swallow.

Unless I take forever to do it all with the two teeth that touch.

Or maybe I just eat nothing but pudding, apple sauce, and ice cream for the next year and a half.

When I left the orthodontist's office, I was just trying to adjust to the way the braces felt in my mouth. I'd eaten some food prior to the appointment, so I wasn't hungry, so the issue of eating never crossed my mind when I was in the office. It apparently never crossed the orthodontist's either, because he didn't say anything when he double checked his work.

So I don't know what I'm going to have to do at this point. I'm going to try to give this a shot for the next couple of days, and I'll call (or just show up in the office) if it's a continuing problem to see if they have any advice. I asked Nicole about her teeth, and did she have any similar problems - nope. Her molars touch, so she can eat like a normal person.

On the plus side, maybe I'll finally drop those extra pounds. I didn't think starvation was an option before, but maybe it will be after all ...

HEAVY METAL!

2008-10-29T11:55:00.001-04:00

"12 to 18 months", huh?

Baseball '08 and Chinese Democracy

2008-10-28T11:45:00.001-04:00

My fingers could not possibly keep up with how fast my mind wants to push the words out of them, so let's see what I can write without getting a case of the forgetsies or typos. I plan to write more later, too, but I have that "looking at a monitor too long and now there's a pain behind my right eye" thing going on, so I probably should keep this on the shorter side. Also, as of 11:40 a.m., I officially see snow falling outside my window. It's not sticking to the ground, but it's definitely not just rain.

Crap.

The end of the 2008 baseball season:

You can't win them all, though I think it's a lot easier to lose when you've known what winning feels like. Yes, I'm greedy - I would have loved for the Sox to have won the World Series again this year. Perhaps I'm feeling entitled these days. But after 86 years of futility, they won two World Series in four years. My grandfather never saw them win a World Series. My father never saw them win a World Series. I've now seen two in short order, with a team built to contend for years to come. As a fan, I'm disappointed that the team fell short this year, but overall I'm still quite content - especially given that I'm surrounded by Yankees and Mets fans who didn't even have a team to rally around this October.

And if there's a way to be happy in losing, this was the way to do it. The team was dead in the water, seven outs from the end of the series, and the miracle comeback occurred. Josh Beckett returned to form enough to force a game seven. And in that game seven, there were no weird plays, fluky bounces, controversial calls, or anything else to leave a bad taste in my mouth. Jon Lester was very good, Matt Garza was even better. No complaints - the Rays won, fair and square.

What could have ended bitterly in five games turned into a very competitive and undeniably entertaining series. And that's what it is for anyone not actually involved in the game itself, right? If you're not a participant on the field or in the business side of things - if you're a fan on a couch with some popcorn and a few hours to spare - you watch hoping to be entertained. I know I certainly was.

Would things have been different with Mike Lowell in the lineup? No offense to Mark Kotsay, but yeah ... probably. Papi proved he was human after all, Jason Varitek should have been pinch hit for late in game seven, and Tampa's starting pitching was solid.

Where do they go from here?

As many baseball columnists have written, Coco Crisp's performance in the ALCS have increased his trade value, and the time to move him is, I think, fast approaching (perhaps for a catcher?). If Crisp is traded, the Sox outfield is set with Bay, Ellsbury, and Drew. No need for further moves there.

The starting pitching is solid, and if the Sox want to make a run at Sabathia (given that Manny and Schilling will be off the payroll), it could get even better. Beckett, Lester, and Matsuzaka are clearly at the top of the rotation. Tim Wakefield had a better season than his stats would indicate, but he may be past the point of being anything more than a .500 pitcher at this point. Justin Masterson's best years should be spent as a starter rather than a reliever. Michael Bowden showed great potential in his few starts this season. I have no idea where Clay Buchholz or Paul Byrd might fit in at this point. That's seven starters, not including the possibility of Sabathia and/or a guy I'd love to see come back to Boston, free agent Derek Lowe.

Aside from Okajima and Papelbon, anything goes with the bullpen. Mike Timlin is gone, if my prayers to the baseball gods are answered. Manny Del Carmen is, in my mind, tradable if the price is right. Javier Lopez and David Aardsma? Ehh. You could do worse than keeping them, but you could do better, too.

I have no idea what happens to Julio Lugo, because he's untradable unless the Sox offer to pay at least part of his contract. Jed Lowrie and Dustin Pedroia are set in the middle of the infield. Kevin Youkilis (who needs a better nickname than "Youk" - Kevin "Youk" Youkilis? That's horrible. I propose Kevin "The Executioner" Youkilis instead.) is set at first ... or third?

There are interesting rumors swirling about Mark Teixeira, who would be a perfect (if expensive) fit with the Red Sox. If he signs, though, is Mike Lowell the odd man out? He's older, more expensive, and more injury prone at this point than Kevin Youkilis. Plus, Youk is probably the team's best pure hitter. Plus, Youkilis is just as talented defensively at third as he is at first.

After all he's meant to this team, though, I'd hate to see Lowell pushed to the side. And I realize that, aside from fans, there's very little loyalty in sports anymore - from players OR owners. Ask Manny Ramirez what it's like to give up on a team and its fans. Or ask Bronson Arroyo what it's like to show loyalty to the Sox by signing a smaller contract to stay in Boston rather than becoming a free agent, only to have Theo Epstein turn around and trade him to the Reds for Wily Mo Pena. Anyone remember Wily Mo? Didn't think so.

The issue of loyalty comes around again, and it wears the number 33. Jason Varitek - what to do with an aging catcher who can barely hit and rarely comes through in the clutch anymore. My heart AND my gut both say to keep him, as long as he doesn't insist on a bigger or longer contract. If he wants another four-year, $40 million contract and threatens to walk if he doesn't get it (his agent is Scott Boras), then I think we say Thanks, Tek - It's been fun. But if he's willing to sign a two-year deal in the $10-$15 million range, with maybe an option year or two, then he's back behind the plate next season (and his number gets retired a few years later).

Ahh, well. I love the Hot Stove kind of stuff ... and there should be plenty of it in a few days after the World Series ends.

The 8:07 starting times for the World Series are just too late, by the way. Kids can't stay up to watch the whole thing and be ready for school the next day, and starting so late practically ensures that rain-out disasters such as last night's are more likely. Or at least have a couple of day games on Saturday and Sunday. Anything.

If the weather stays bad in Philadelphia today and doesn't allow for the continuation of last night's game 5, would the game be finished in St. Petersburg at the Trop? That hardly seems fair to Phillies fans, who've waited 15 years to see their team make it to the World Series.

I don't know if my feelings are as extreme as those in this article ("Baseball's crown event is beyond repair"), but I absolutely understand and appreciate the sentiment. (My favorite line in that article is regards tickets in Florida: "Scalpers there are eating thousands of dollars because the demand for tickets is so flabby." Good. Scalpers are evil, and I hope they lose all their money. Douchebags.)

How to fix baseball might be a great topic for another entry (which I will probably never write, either).

Eh.

NFL Picks:
I wasn't home from my vacation in time to check out odds and post my five picks against the spread, but before I left I made my fantasy "Pick 'Em" choices in a league with some friends. It's just a straight "who wins" league - no point spread. 10-4 this week overall, for the record.

Braces:
Tomorrow at 11 a.m., I'll be squirming in my chair as I undergo the installation process. A lifetime of gap-toothed smiles will be eliminated in the next 12-18 months, if all goes well. (At which point, I will be hit in the mouth with a stray softball, messing it all up again. Mark my words.)

"Chinese Democracy":
I've heard most of the album now, and it's ... OK, I guess? I think I'd like it a lot more if it wasn't marketed as a Guns N' Roses album, because if Slash and Duff aren't on the record, it ain't GNR, you know? Call it an Axl Rose solo record, or come up with a different band name, and I'm there. A lot of the guitar solos sound like Slash played them (the tone and style, specifically), and the drums aren't as "rocking" as Steven Adler and Matt Sorum made them in the past. It sounds like there's a machine or sampler going on sometimes. There's also a lot of keyboard and weird bleeps and bloops, like someone was playing around with a Trent Reznor playset but hadn't mastered it yet. Lyrically, Axl isn't the same pissed off guy he was 15 years ago, and the songs sound like it. His vocal style has also changed quite a bit.

A quick rundown:
"Better" - a decent song, some good guitar. Weird intro - you may start to wonder if this is actually a Guns N' Roses song while you listen to it.

"Chinese Democracy" - you can check it out on gunsnroses.com, if you're interested. I wish more of the record sounded like this track. It's one of the "heaviest" on the album, and it's closest in sound to previous GNR albums.

"IRS" - the vocal intro in the first 20 seconds or so are horrible and should have been cut from the track. The short guitar solo at 3:30 is pretty sweet (I think it's Buckethead).

"Madagascar" - this is the song they played on the MTV awards a few years (!) ago. Of the songs I've heard so far, it's probably my favorite.

"Rhiad and the Bedouins" - Most of this is sung in Axl's higher register, and it gets a little annoying after a while. Another Slash-like solo at 2:30 saves this otherwise forgettable track.

"This I Love" - Power ballad alert! The final 1:45 is a long, gradual fade out that never seems to end.

"If the World" - Why, Axl? It took 15 years to record THIS? Horrible. There's some Barry White wah-wah chicka chicka guitar in the background, and the lyrics sound like they were written by an eight grader ("Never thought the way you looked at me would mean so much to me ...")

"The Blues" - Here's the big difference between old and new GNR: the "old" GNR had kickass guitar riffs and meaty hooks leading into the songs. Here, another piano intro. There's lots of piano on this record. Another power ballad with some good guitar solos. Some violin-sounding synth flourishes in the background, though - what is this, a Celine Dion record?

"There Was a Time" - opening "angelic" vocals reminiscent, purposely or not, of the Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want". At 6:51, though, it's a bit too long, but again the guitars save it.

"Catcher in the Rye" - utterly forgettable. Mid-tempo, piano intro, bleepy-bloopy nonsense two minutes in ... yeesh.

"Shackler's Revenge" - the first couple of lines reminded me of Leonard Cohen's "Everybody Knows". Maybe it's just me. Disco drums at 0:37! Apparently it was called "Chicken Dinner" for a while because of the opening guitar riff. Lots of screechy synth on this one, too.

Bottom line: Metallica's "Death Magnetic" brought the band back to a sound closer to it's roots, but GNR's "Chinese Democracy" shows that the guy who would jump off the stage and assault fans in the front row has grown up and become a more mellow person, musically at least.

It's not a bad record by any means, honestly. It's a very different record, though, than many GNR fans are probably hoping to hear. Some people are going to think it's awful. I like it well enough, I suppose ... as long as I don't think of it as Guns N' Roses.

In the next two posts:

1. Politics
2. Our vacation last week at Disney and Universal Studios in Orlando

NFL - Weak 7 (Yes, Weak - not Week)

2008-10-18T18:19:00.001-04:00

Last week Miami covered but lost, and New Orleans covered (handily) and won. The Cowboys pooped the bed, the Bears somehow lost to Atlanta (?!), I don't even want to talk about the Brown / Giants game, but I have to for just a moment.

If you go back to a previous post, you'll see that I wrote that "... the Browns will probably win by 30, just because I'm picking the Giants to cover" - they then proceeded win by 21 points. In week 4, I also said that my pick of the Broncos "almost guarantees that (the Chiefs) covers the spread".

Maybe I'm on to something here. Maybe I need to pick opposite what my head tells me, and we'll see what happens then, like the episode of "Seinfeld" in which George does everything the exact opposite of the way he usually does. Maybe next week.

Last week I was 2-3 for the fourth consecutive week, and my overall record is 14-16. Last week I "lost" $60 but "won" 40, so I start with an imaginary $80. To push it up to my minimum weekly wager of $100, I add another imaginary $20, which brings my "invested" money for the season to $135 with no winnings to show. YET, DAMMIT! I WILL WIN!

Let's see how badly I can mess this week up. Again, odds via the first column of Yahoo's odds page, at 6:00 on Saturday evening.

1. Tennessee (-9) vs. Kansas City (at KC) for $30:
The Titans are still undefeated, while KC has suspended Larry Johnson for a game. Plus, Tony Gonzales was allegedly going to be traded but wasn't, so there are all sorts of distractions for the Chefs. Great googily moogily. So ... Titans? Right?

2. Seattle vs. Tampa Bay (-10.5) (at Tampa Bay) for $20:
Seattle's so much worse than I expected, and Tampa's better. So ... Bucs at home? Right?

3. NY Giants (-10.5) vs. San Francisco (at NEW JERSEY) for $20:
The Giants are at home and looking forward to make up for last week's loss to the Browns. The Niners give up a LOT of points. So ... Giants? Right?

4. Detroit vs. Houston (-9.5) at Houston for $15:
Houston (barely) won last week, and should have won the week before. The important part about those two games, and the game before it (a loss to Jacksonville) is that they've averaged just north of 27 ppg during that span. Detroit, with the exception of last week, gives up an ass-load of points. They also are playing with a second-string QB and just traded one of their best players (Roy Williams) to Dallas. I don't think they can keep up. Plus, Houston's at home. So ... Houston? Right?

5. New York Jets (-3) vs. Oakland (at Oakland) for $15:
No reason, other than I can't envision the Raiders beating a Favre-led team.

Next week I'm away on vacation, so I may not be able to post week 8 picks. Consider it my bye week if I'm not able to make it on-line for picks.

Sox/Rays - part II

2008-10-17T10:52:00.001-04:00

When not writing here on the blog (too often these days, I realize), I keep in touch with a lot of friends over on a messageboard we all frequent. Some choice cuts from the last few hours, because I'm too lazy to write something new at the moment:

[This one was written on Oct. 13]

... but I'd like everyone to remember how down about the team so many people were in 2004 and 2007 after similar playoff situations.
There's no reason to panic!

The "Fan on Strike" thing was in the late 90s, I think? 2000 at the latest? It was pre-Theo, I'm pretty sure. It seems like a lifetime ago. It was fun. For those who didn't know me then, the Players Union threatened to go on strike again, and I preemptively decided it was time for fans to speak up first. One day I made a sign that said "Fan on Strike" and marched around Fenway Park a few times before a game. Ahh, to be single and awkward with strange priorities ... Good times.

I got some weird looks, had some fun conversations with random strangers. But to point, I never, EVER gave up on the Red Sox or questioned my loyalty to the team. My "battle", such as it was, wasn't with the franchise in particular.
For the record, I still stand by the point I was trying to make at the time: ticket prices are too high, the players are paid too much, it's bad for the game to have the balance of power in the same cities every year (though it's easier to look past this last one these days, I'll admit - at the time, the Yankees controlled everything).

... we're all fans - or worse: we're Red Sox fans. We're like the infected in "28 Days Later". It's in our blood. It brings us to a point of indescribable rage. It makes us eat our own. But there's nothing like it, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I think we all know that if we could, we'd all get season tickets together and watch almost every inning of every game as a group, because: 1. It's part of who we are, and 2. We don't know any better ;)

Personally, I've found my "sports zen". My father never saw the Patriots win a Superbowl. I've seen three. My father never saw the Sox win a World Series. I've seen two. If the Patriots went 0-16, or the Sox went 60-102, I'd always have amazing memories (and commemorative DVDs) to celebrate.

One last thing: the first six innings were like watching King Kong Bundy destroy Hulk Hogan at the beginning of a match. The Rays had the Sox in a headlock, and it looked like all was lost.

Varitek flied out - the referee held up Hogan's arm, and it fell. Kotsay flied out, and again the arm fell.
We know how this goes, right?
Crisp singled, and the Hulkster's arm stayed up! Then Pedroia singled in the first run, and Hogan started shaking. Then Papi hit the three run blast, and the champ started waving his finger in the air to let the crowd know that there was still some life left, and that this grudge match wasn't over yet!
Drew homered, and Hogan started connecting with some big right hands! Crisp singled in the tying run - Hogan with a big boot to Bundy's chin!
When the momentum had finally swung in the ninth, JD Drew (he of "has a Posse" fame), summoning his inner-Hulkster, hit a big Leg Drop of Doom for the win!
Can you imagine how loud Fenway *WOULD* have been if all those undeserving "fans" had stayed?

I Love That Dirty Water!

2008-10-17T00:39:00.001-04:00

Proof that I NEVER gave up on the Red Sox can be found HERE, specifically with my post at 6:50 p.m. (which was actually 9:50 p.m., but the messageboard is on West Coast time for some reason).

I wrote specifically, and I quote:

First of all, I'm going to be obscenely optimistic. At the time I'm writing this, the game isn't over yet. Let's all remember the "Mother's Day Miracle" game and hope lightning can strike twice.

So there you go.

Another reason to vote for Barack Obama

2008-10-16T20:44:00.001-04:00

NFL Week 6

2008-10-11T22:39:00.001-04:00

Well, I forgot to write something, and the Sox/Rays game is still on, so here's a quick entry with some picks. Last week I went 2-3 again, but should have gone 1-4 (thanks for blowing it, Texans!). So I started with $105, lost $60 with my three incorrect picks, and got $80 back thanks to the Bears and Colts, which means I have to use another imaginary $15 to make it an even $100 in betting for the week.

Therefore, going into the start of week six, I've "invested" $115 and don't have any winnings yet. Once again, this is why I don't actually bet real money.

Yahoo! sports has thrown a wrench in my system, too, and it's odds page (as of 10:30 p.m. on Saturday night) now lists five different sources. Given that I don't know one from another, I'll go with the first column, from SportsBetting.com. Because why not.

1. Houston (-3) vs. Miami (at Houston) for $20:
Miami beat New England, then beat San Diego. Doesn't make sense. Houston lost a heartbreaker to what one would think is a much better team than the Dolphins (Indy) last week. I think Miami can win outright.

2. Dallas (-4.5) vs. Arizona (at Arizona) for $20:
I know Arizona destroyed the Bills last week, but my gut says the Cowboys take this by at least 5.

3. New York Giants (-7.5) vs. Cleveland (at Cleveland) for $20:
I didn't think the Browns would be this bad, and I didn't think the Giants would be this good. What I think doesn't seem to matter with my picks, though, so the Browns will probably win by 30, just because I'm picking the Giants to cover.

4. Chicago (-2.5) vs. Atlanta (at Atlanta) for $20:
The Bears are the only team treating me well so far this season, so I'll stick with them.

5. Oakland vs. New Orleans (-7) (at New Orleans) for $20:
Because I have to pick more home teams.

Dammit all, I should have written more stuff ... in the ten minutes it took me to get this entry ready, Josh Beckett imploded and the Sox are down. Again.

Fun for the whole family.

There's still a lot of baseball left tonight, though ...

Site update stuff

2008-10-06T13:04:00.001-04:00

I didn't realize how many of my links were dead-ends and how many of my pages were poorly formatted after the fact, specifically regarding some of the live bootlegs I've posted. I've fixed them (mostly, I think?) and encourage you to re-live my late 20s with me by checking out the Buffalo Tom and Dismemberment Plan shows I've posted so far, with more to come.

I also have 10 Orbit shows up, and you have no idea how much time and effort I've put into the Sheila Divine archive ... There are three new Aaron Perrino solo shows posted, with more full-band stuff coming soon too.

Other than that, nothing interesting to report, other than I'm tired from watching last night's loss to the Angels, and I'm nursing a big ol' bowl of plain oatmeal (having not paid attention, and thinking I was making blueberry). Watching the economy tank is making me feel really optimistic about finding a job I like, too ... sheesh.

Anyway, the bootlegs are free, so if we're all broke, don't despair. There may not be such thing as a "free lunch", but I'm not asking for anything in return for the music (except that you don't sell copies).

Power to the people!

Fixing broken things, part IV (the trilogy continues) / NFL Week 5

2008-10-04T12:05:00.001-04:00

Yesterday morning I woke up, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and had to skip breakfast because I had an appointment with an oral surgeon to have my wisdom teeth removed. I had to skip food because of the planned anesthesia - I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything for six hours prior to the scheduled 8:45 a.m. procedure, so I had a grumbly stomach by the time I sat back in the doctor's chair.

The nurse came in first, went over the list of do's and don'ts for the next 24-hours and what to expect for the next couple of days. The doctor came in, had me sign the agreement regarding the anesthesia, and put the mask on me through which the laughing gas would be applied. I didn't smell anything, didn't feel faint, and didn't, in fact, think he actually had anything flowing through the machine. He prepped my arm, put in a needle, and ...

Well, then I woke up with Nicole in the room, my mouth stuffed with gauze.

I have no idea what happened at all. Not in the slightest. I sat down then I woke up, and that was it. I've never blacked out due to drinking, never been abducted by visitors from Mars ... but this. Whoa. Neat. I was O-U-T. What a wonderful deep, deep sleep I must have been in.

I was brought to a recovery room to relax for another few minutes, and I pointed at my wrist to ask Nicole what time it was. It was barely past ten. In less than an hour, they'd knocked my ass out, taken out four wisdom teeth, stitched me back up, and revived me, all with minimal pain.

They gave me a prescription of 20 Oxycodone pills to be taken over the next few days, but I doubt I'll need them past today. I feel slight discomfort, but no pain. The feeling you get when you eat the triangle center of a piece of hot pizza and it burns the roof of your mouth is worse than the discomfort I feel right now. Nicole said she was amazed yesterday afternoon when I was pretty much acting like nothing at all had happened.

Just after the appointment, the walk to the car was a bit of a slow, zig-zagging adventure, since I was still a little dopey, and my communication skills were hampered by the gauze and my numb lips, but other than that, all was well. When I looked in the car's passenger-side mirror, my face was rather puffy and swollen (pics to come), and I had to wipe blood off my front teeth with my finger. I looked like a vampire who'd just fed. Taking the bloody gauze out of my mouth to replace it wasn't fun, either, but at least I didn't have to wear a giant plastic cone around my head like Rocky did a couple of weeks ago. So I had that going for me, which was good. When I move my tongue around my back teeth, I can feel the stitches, which is also a strange and somewhat unsettling experience.

The most unpleasant part of the whole thing, though (other than my insurance only covering 75% of the procedure), is that it quite literally has left a bad taste in my mouth. After removal of wisdom teeth, you're not allowed to brush your teeth for 24 hours, so my breath must be pretty bad by now. On the other hand, all I had to eat yesterday was a lot of ice cream and some soft egg salad, so it's not like I was chowing down on garlic and onions or other pungent foods. More than that, however, is the unshakable aftertaste of blood in my mouth. It's inescapable.

Two quick plugs:

1. I ate a LOT of ice cream, for the record. Edy's Slow Churned - go get some. A scoop full of vanilla with some iced coffee poured over it is great stuff, I promise. And their limited edition Pumpkin flavored ice cream is terrific.

2. If anyone somehow comes across this entry while doing a Google search for information about Dr. Kenneth Press, an Oral Surgeon practicing in Morristown, New Jersey - he's fantastic, and I highly recommend him. He was recommended to me by my dentist, and the lady I spoke to at the orthodonist's office gave him a glowing review when I name dropped him in a conversation regarding the reason for the delay in getting my braces put on. He's a really nice guy, and he did a terrific job of getting me fixed up and back on my feet in no time flat. His office is covered in "Best of New Jersey" magazines in which he was featured, and he's clearly on top of his game.

I'd probably been awake anyway "recovering", but last night's Red Sox / Angels game was a terrific reason to get a late start on this morning. As much as I hated to see a true Dirt Dog like Trot Nixon be unceremoniously let go two seasons ago for the much dreaded J.D. Drew era (how could they pay him THAT much?), I have to admit I was wrong.

J.D. Drew: I apologize. While I still feel you're overpaid, I feel that ALL ballplayers are pretty much overpaid. So don't take that personally. I was wrong, though, about what I thought you would contribute to my Red Sox, and I'm glad you're on our side. Hell, I'm even glad you stole Trot's #7 for your jersey. You are a worthy heir to the number and the field position. I wish you could stay healthy all year long, of course, but whatever voodoo you're practicing on your herniated disc seems to be working, so go do some more chanting, or sacrifice a chicken, or whatever it is you need to do to get through the next couple of weeks.

And Kevin Youkilis. Oh, man. If you've read the excellent Moneyball, which focuses on how small-market teams like the A's function and compete with teams like the Red Sox and Yankees, who have the resources to outspend their opponents on big-name free-agents, you know that Youkilis was a highly prized prospect within the Red Sox farm system a few years ago, and that many teams wanted to trade for him. Theo Epstein's continued patience in not moving guys like this is the reason the Sox are trying to win their third World Series in five seasons. He made two spectacular late-inning defensive plays at third base last night, filling in for Mike Lowell, and every at bat looks like he's faced with the prospect of having a kidnapped relative killed if he doesn't get a hit. In his first at-bat last night, he was an absolute mess, dripping with sweat as if a faucet was attached to his batting helmet. It was the first inning. The temperatures were said to be in the 60s.

Talk about a gamer.

I already have plenty of Red Sox shirts at this point, but I think I'd have a real dilemma on my hands if I wanted to get another one. Youkilis? Jon Lester? Good thing I'm not in the market at the moment.

Finally, week five of the NFL season. When the season began, I started with an imaginary $100, and entering week five - twenty individual game picks into the season - I have an imaginary $105. Last week's 2-3 debacle (Buffalo and San Diego both covered, though neither game looked to be going well after their respective first halves and I could have easily gone 0-5) followed another 2-3 week, so I need to turn it around. On the plus side, I haven't had to use any more imaginary "seed money"; on the negative side, I'm not setting the world on fire or impressing anyone (myself, particularly) with my NFL prognostication prowess.

Part of the reason is that I never pay attention to teams like Tampa Bay, and I end up picking games that already have pretty big point spreads.

So let's see what's on the agenda this week.

The odds are from Yahoo! sports at 11:38 a.m. on Saturday, Oct. 4.

1. Arizona -1 vs. Buffalo (at Arizona) for $20:
One of the Cardinals' best offensive weapons, Anquan Boldin, is likely out for the game, which should allow Buffalo's already tough defense to dominate even more. I know they're on home turf, and clearly I'm no NFL expert given my picks so far this year, but how a 2-2 Arizona team is favored by a point over the 4-0 Bills is a little beyond me, and I'm pretty confident that the Bills win this game.

2. Chicago -3.5 vs. Detroit (at Detroit) for $20:
The Bears are 2-2 and coming off a big win against the Eagles. Their two losses were each by only three points, against the surprisingly tough Panthers and Bucs. They beat Indianapolis handily in week one. Detroit is 0-3 and coming off a bye week, and they've lost by no less than 13 points prior to that. Da Bears ought to take this one easily.

3. Indianapolis -3 vs. Houston (at Houston) for $20:
The under-achieving 1-2 Colts are due for a breakout offensive game, and 0-3 Houston is giving up 341 yards per game. Indy is coming off a bye week and have Peyton Manning salivating to put up some numbers. Houston has ... who does Houston have, exactly? Three points seems easy to cover.

4. NY Giants -7 vs. Seattle (at New Jersey - let's face it. They're in New Jersey.) for $20
No explanation, just a gut feeling. Seattle's put up 67 points in the past two weeks, and the Giants are coming off a bye week following an overtime scare against the Bungles. I think the Seahawks can cover, in a 27-23 kind of way.

5. San Diego -6.5 vs. Miami (at Miami) for $20:
Simply because I don't think Miami can do it twice in a row.

So there you go - five games, and I'm picking the road team in EVERY ONE OF THEM. Two underdogs, and as Lincoln would call them, three overdogs.

A sure recipe for disaster!

If I have a losing record this week, next week I pick teams out of a hat. I'll make a video of the picks and everything as proof.

ALDS entry #1

2008-10-02T10:18:00.001-04:00

Johan who?

The centerpieces of the proposed trade for Santana last offseason were either Lester or Ellsbury. As the baseball cliche goes, sometimes the best trades are the ones you don't make.

I'd love to know what the 2008 Red Sox season in the Santana-era alternate universe looks like, but the real one we're seeing right now seems like a pretty good one.

Think about this: If the Sox had made the deal, the other components to the trade would likely have left Julio Lugo or Alex Cora at shortstop (Lowrie would be gone) and the Sox without Justin Masterson in the 'pen (which means Mike Timlin would probably be out there instead).

Would you rather have a post-season team with Lowrie (who can also play third), Masterson, and Ellsbury/Lester? Or would you rather have a team with Santana, Timlin, Cora, and Ellsbury/Lester?

(Not to mention Michael Bowden, who is not on the post-season roster but looked good in his limited play earlier this year and could be a factor in the next year or two.)

Throw in the salaries of these guys versus that of Santana ...

Man, I'm glad that trade didn't happen. Say Santana's free agency were to begin a year later than it did. The Sox would <i>never</i> entertain the thought of a trade of that magnitude after THIS season, knowing what their guys are legitimately capable of.

They would have given up far, far too much for Santana, as good as he is.

While Jon Lester may not - yet - be as feared and dominant as Santana, he seems to have the potential to be just as reliable (and, at a fraction of the cost). In a playoff series, when a pitcher's impact is tremendous but the number of games played is limited, Lester and Santana seem to be of equal game value at this point. But for the rest of the series, for everyday players, I'm glad we have guys like Ellsbury and Lowrie out there. They can make a difference more than just every third day. It's very reassuring.

Once again, nice job, Theo. Your patience is a gift.

The woman who could be VP

2008-09-27T19:13:00.001-04:00

Tuesday night is going to be a bloodbath.

Two clips for your consideration:

That's gotta be the worst she can do, right?

Oh, no, wait ...

Speaking of debates, a quick note about last night's: McCain won!

He did!

In fact, he was proud to tell everyone about it ... before the debate actually took place.

Sigh ...

Obama was terrific last night, I thought.

NFL Picks - Week 4

2008-09-27T16:44:00.001-04:00

Last week was a nightmare. Oh, man. I won the Atlanta and Tennessee games, but lost the other three. I started the week at imaginary $150, bet $100, and with my incorrect picks lost only $20, so after three weeks I'm still up $30.

How people make a living betting for real is beyond me - three weeks into the season, with a cumulative 8-7 record, I'm living the high life with three extra imaginary ten dollar bills in my imaginary wallet. Not enough to pay for the removal of my wisdom teeth this coming Friday (wish me luck), but enough to pay for some ice cream I guess. Also, I had that cardiac calcium scanning test three days ago, and I'll write about that in the coming days. Amazing machinery and technology, that thing. Much to Nicole's relief (mine too, obviously), all is well with my ticker, and the doctor said that my results were "excellent."

But this week ... let's see what we've got.

This whole season, being completely upside down at this point, is pretty much beyond comprehension. From week to week, guys (and I mean superstars, not just linemen) are getting injured left and right, and any given team's starting lineup at the start of the first half of a game can change completely by the end of halftime. Basically, I should pretty much just pull teams out of a hat and pick that way.

But I won't - not this week, at least. As always, I'm using Yahoo! odds as they're listed at 4:15 on Saturday afternoon.

Buffalo -8.5 vs. St. Louis (at St. Louis) for $25
Buffalo is 3-0, even if last week was shaky. St. Louis is 0-3 and in the midst of a revolt from their head coach, and Marc Bulger is no longer their QB. Their receivers aren't happy, their running back isn't happy, Marc Bulger is not happy (duh) ... all of which means I'm happy to pick the Bills, your AFC East Champions for the 2008-2009 season. Sorry Patriots.

Denver -9.5 vs. Kansas City (at Kansas City) for $25
The 3-0 Broncos are averaging 38 points per game, and the 0-3 Chiefs averaging just under 11. Looks like a no-brainer to me. (A statement that almost guarantees that KC covers the spread, right?) I'm not sold on Denver being Superbowl-bound yet, by the way. Yes, they're putting up big scores and are undefeated, but they beat the Chargers at the last second in a very controversial manner (i.e., they SHOULD have lost, if not for a bad ref decision), and New Orleans almost snuck back from an 18 point deficit last week. But against the Chiefs this week ... hell, anyone against the Chiefs any week, perhaps, they're a lock.

New Orleans -5 vs. San Francisco (at New Orleans) for $25:
SHOOTOUT! First, the over-under is 48, which seems really low to me. New Orleans is giving up an average of just under 28 ppg (while scoring just under 27). San Francisco is averaging 32 ppg over their last two games (just under 26 overall) while giving up just under 19. The mere concept of a shootout assumes that both sides will keep trading scores right through the end of the game, and if that's the case, the score should be pretty close. And if the score's close, I have to go with the underdog to cover the spread - if not win the game outright.

Jacksonville -7 vs. Houston (at Jacksonville) for $25:
Jacksonville, though 1-2, sees the opportunity given to them by Indianapolis' poor start, and I can't see them missing a chance to take advantage of an 0-2 Houston team that is likely emotionally and physically tired from having played no home games, having practice issues, and everything else that came about due to Hurricane Ike.

San Diego -7.5 vs. Oakland (at Oakland) for $25.
Oakland can't cover the spread twice in a row, especially against a team that put up 48 points this past week, can they? My only concern is that the Chargers are playing on short rest. Still, if I have to pick five games, this is my fifth.

That leaves me an imaginary $5 for a pint of imaginary Ben and Jerry's, for my very real wisdom teeth removal.

And this, my friends ...

2008-09-21T15:57:00.001-04:00

... is why I don't bet actual money on football games. Yeesh.

NFL Picks - week 3

2008-09-20T19:12:00.001-04:00

OK, so I didn't expect Pittsburgh to play Cleveland in a monsoon last weekend. Pittsburgh didn't cover the six point spread and I lost that one. Had I known about the weather situation, I probably still would have picked the Steelers to cover that game, so what can you do, right? And picking the Atlanta/Tampa Bay game ... eh. Made sense at the time, I guess.

I hit the other three games, though, so after the first two weeks my cumulative record is 6-4, and my original investment of $100 has grown to $150 ($20 left over from week 1, plus $130 from last week's correct games). Not great, but I'm in the black, and I haven't had to put in "additional" funds to keep this going.

As always, the odds are via Yahoo! sports, this week taken at 6:23 p.m. on Saturday 9/20.

Buffalo -9.5 vs. Oakland (at Buffalo) for $20:
I know the Raiders won last week, but they're still terrible, and Buffalo's defense won't allow many points this week. They'll be lucky to score a touchdown on offense, frankly. I know it's a pretty big spread, but Buffalo's at home, and I can envision the Bills winning by two touchdowns (at least).

Tennessee -4.5 vs. Houston (at Tennessee) for $20:
Houston didn't play last week due to Hurricane Ike, so they've been dealing with major distractions off the field, and Tennessee seems to have successfully navigated through their own distractions on the field (for now, at least). They're at home, and a 4.5 point spread seems do-able to me.

Minnesota -3.5 vs. Carolina (at Minnesota) for $20:
Adrian Peterson may not play, the team has turned to Gus Frerotte (!) to lead the team at QB, and the Vikings are coming off a disastrous loss last week in a winnable game vs. Indianapolis. Carolina is 2-0, Steve Smith is back in the lineup, and the Panthers have every reason to be as optimistic as the Vikings may be pessimistic. Even on the road, I think the spread favors Carolina.

Atlanta -5.5 vs. Kansas City (at Atlanta) for $20:
The Chiefs are terrible, and it may be safe to bet against them and whatever their spread is for the rest of the season. Atlanta's not great (especially their defense, which has allowed 45 points already this season), but the Chiefs are starting their third string QB on the road.

New England -12.5 vs. Miami (at New England) for $20:
What I said last week about not betting on the home team, and using your head instead of your heart? Here's the exception to the rule. I know the point spread is pretty big, but the Patriots are at home, Matt Cassel is playing with confidence, Chad Pennington is no Bret Favre (because if he was, he'd still be a Jet instead of the actual Favre), the Dolphins can't run they give up a ton of yards to their opposition, and Joey Porter said the 'Fins would treat Cassel "like a backup" and that the game "shouldn't be that hard" because Cassel "isn't Tom Brady".

Why do you say such stupid things, sir? Even if Matt Cassel can't perform the way Brady did, the rest of the team can still perform better than the Dolphins can. The Dolphins who won exactly one game last year. The Dolphins who are winless this year and looked clueless vs. Arizona.

P-A-T-S! Pats Pats Pats!

Five games, twenty bucks a pop, keeping $50 off the board for next week. Plus a "real" blog entry to follow in the next day or two.

(Warning: politics inside!) the Obama vs. Palin chain e-mail

2008-09-19T12:26:00.001-04:00

This is from an e-mail making the rounds recently, so it may be old news to some of you. Please feel free to send it to your other political-junkie friends (on both sides of the aisle) to see what kind of response it gets.

* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're
"exotic, different."

* If you grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, you're a
quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.

* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well
grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the
first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter
registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years
as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator
representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of
the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years
in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people
while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs,
Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you
don't have any real leadership experience.

* If your total resume is local weather girl, 4 years on the city
council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000
people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people,
then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking
executive.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while
raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're
not a real Christian.

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your
disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a
Christian.

* If you teach children about sexual predators, you are irresponsible
and eroding the fiber of society.

* If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no
other option in sex education in your state's school system while your
unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in
a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city
community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values
don't represent America's.

* If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI
conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until
age 25 and once was a member of a group that hates America and
advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is
extremely admirable.

NFL Picks - Week 2

2008-09-12T14:22:00.001-04:00

So Tom Brady, as if somehow pre-destined to miss this season given that he didn't play in the pre-season either, is out for the year. This falls squarely into the realm of "shit happens". It's happened to great players before (except the QB the Pats are playing against this weekend), and it'll happen to great players after. Them's the breaks, as they say.

I can understand other fans getting excited that their teams now have a better chance of winning a Superbowl, because a Brady-led Patriots team will always be an "elite" team, but what I can't understand - what I despise, actually - is the pure glee that so many other fans seem to be taking in Brady's injury.

I know that people are sick of the Patriots, sick of Spygate, sick of Belichik, sick of hearing about whether or not this is the greatest team ever to play on the field, sick of Randy Moss, sick of Gisele Bundchen, sick of whatever else ... but to revel in the very literal pain of a guy who's never done anything to fans except maybe break their hearts? Sad, dude. Sad. I don't like the Yankees, but I never hoped Jorge Posada would break his leg.

Anyway, what happens from here is anyone's guess. I still think the Patriots are capable of winning 10 games and the division, but the playoffs seem like they'll be a "it was just nice to be here" kind of situation. Of course, people thought the same thing when Drew Bledsoe went down in the 2000-2001 season.

Bottom line, as a Patriots fan, I'm super bummed out but not completely destroyed, the way Boston.com would like the rest of the country to believe we're supposed to be. As a sports fan, I'm disappointed, because I want to see teams play their hardest with their best players, because that's what makes Championships "valid", sometimes - I mean, if the Red Sox didn't have to play the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS but won the World Series anyway, Yankees fans would somehow feel the series was "tainted". So would some Red Sox fans, frankly. So I want to see healthy teams play healthy teams, and may the winner be worthy. As a fantasy bettor, with no real cash on the line, it makes it that much easier to stay away from Patriots games in my picks, because betting with your heart instead of your head will kill you almost every time.

Last week I went 3-2, with the Chargers and Bengals letting me down. Somehow I'm not surprised that Cincy let me down, but I'm stunned that the Chargers lost. The fact that they did, and the fact that Chicago beat Indianapolis in Indianapolis (spoiling the Colts' debut at their new home stadium) actually gives me hope for the Patriots. This could be another one of those "anything goes" seasons for some mystery team that nobody expects to do anything, so the Colts or Chargers could win, or the 49ers, or the Lions, or maybe even the Patriots.

But 3-2 isn't a great start. On the plus side, the way I distributed my fantasy bet money only lost me $35 of my $100, but $65 of my bets came through so I have up to $130 to work with this week (I know the betting lines are generally -105 or -110, and not even money, but for the sake of blog math, it's 1:1 as far as I'm concerned).

So let's look at the schedule (odds via Yahoo! sports at 2:10 p.m. on Friday, 9/12)

First of all, there's no way I'm touching the Cincinnati/Tennessee game this weekend. Crazy stuff with both of those teams. It could finish 3-0, it could finish 49-48. Yeesh. I'd love to know how much money this game is moving in Vegas this weekend; aside from degenerate, compulsive gamblers, I can't imagine anyone wanting any part of this mess. But that's just me.

1. Green Bay (-3) vs. Detroit (at Detroit) for $20:
This could be a fun, high-scoring game. Detroit gave up 34 points to Atlanta last week on the road. Green Bay is a better team that the Falcons, so a win by more than a field goal seems pretty safe, even in the Lions' home opener.

2. Pittsburgh (-6) vs. Cleveland (at Cleveland) for $30
The Steelers looked very strong last week, stronger than I expected frankly, and Cleveland faced a likewise powerful Dallas team. More importantly, Pittsburgh is 22-3 against the Browns in their last 25 matchups. I'd pick Pittsburgh with a ten point spread, if those were the odds. Maybe more. Steelers should win handily.

3. NY Giants (-8.5) vs. St. Louis (at St. Louis) for $25:
St. Louis might win 4 or 5 games this year, but this ain't one of 'em. I don't like their chances against the spread, either.

4. Tampa Bay (-7) vs. Atlanta (at Tampa Bay) for $15
I think seven points is too much to give in this game. If the line was -3, I wouldn't pick this game, but I think Atlanta can win this game (or at least lose by less than a touchdown).

5. Jacksonville (-6) vs. Buffalo (at Jacksonville) for $20
Jacksonville's offensive line is beat up, part of the reason they only scored 10 points against the Titans last week. Buffalo looked solid against Seattle last weekend, putting up 34 points. Put them together this weekend, and I think the Bills win outright - forget about just covering the spread.

So that's $110 of my allowed $130. I'll pocket the other $20 for next week's games, in case I want to use it then.

As an aside, however, I think it's entirely possible that San Diego and Indianapolis could both begin this season 0-2. They've got tough games this weekend, but given their respective point spreads (-1 and -1.5), I wouldn't fake-bet on either of them, just in case.

Spilling blood and bleeding gas

2008-09-08T23:23:00.009-04:00

[For the record, Bryan, I'd started a draft of this before you posted your blog, so I'm not trying to crib your ideas, I promise! :) ]

If you've read The Lord of the Rings, you're more patient than I am. I only saw the movies. Also, you're a nerd.

Either way, you'll recall a character names Grima Wormtongue. In the character's Wiki entry, he is described as a "flatterer, liar, and manipulator" who "worked to weaken Théoden and his kingdom through lies and persuasion". Had the LoTR movies been a mob movie, he would have been the Godfather's consiglieri, but rather than dispensing good advice, Wormtongue used his influence to turn a good man to evil.

At the side of Theoden, Wormtongue weakened the King and clouded his judgment. At long last, "When the wizard (Gandalf) revealed Wormtongue for what he was, Théoden returned to his senses" and ruled with the bravery and goodness that his followers knew was still in his heart, buried somewhere deep within.

Ladies and gentlemen, I offer to you that Bob Rock is the real-life Grima Wormtongue, Rick Rubin is Gandalf (if the beard fits ...), and Metallica is King Theoden.

Bob Rock, having ruined Metallica for the last 17 years or so by offering advice that was horrible on a personal level and even worse on a musical one (If you've seen Some Kind of Monster, you know what I mean; if you haven't, go rent it. It almost out-Spinal Tap's Spinal Tap.) has been jetisoned in favor of Rick Rubin.

This is the equivalent of when Tom Brady decided to ditch Tara Reid and ended up with Gisele Bundchen. Sometimes the upgrade is so great, you can't believe the first choice was even an option in the first place.

To say that Rubin's work is wizardly on the new Metallica record, Death Magnetic, would be an understatement. In fact, "whiz" is a descendant of the word "wizard", and Rubin is widely considered to be a "whiz" at re-inventing or re-energizing musicians whose careers seemed to have been on the decline, or at least less relevant than they had been previously.

To fans (like me) old enough to remember what the band was like pre-"Black Album", he has made Metallica vital again. The music is thoroughly re-energized, focused, fast, and - yes - heavy. Death Magnetic is easily Metallica's best record in the last twenty years. TWENTY YEARS, people. We're old. Dammit.

The sound is akin to that on ... And Justice For All; the rhythm guitar chugs along with the evil galloping menace that the more recent Metallica records lacked. For a while there, it seemed like the band forgot how to ride a galloping low E string. But it's back here, bigtime, as are Kirk Hammet's scorching guitar solos. Not allowed to play any on the previous record, he's making up for lost time here. Seven of the ten songs are more than seven minutes long. None is less than five minutes long. Like the older Metallica records, each song is jam-packed with tempo changes and handful upon handful of riffs. It's just like old times.

(In fact, I'd love to see if Rubin could re-master a re-release of Justice, which always sounded too crowded and muddy to me - there's a lot of great stuff in there, but it gets lost in the mix.)

And you know what's missing? That awful clanging drum from St. Anger. Gone, baby, gone. Lars Ulrich may be one of metal's least popular personalities, but he reminds everyone that he's not just Lars Ulrich, he's Lars Ulrich DAMMIT. It almost makes you forget what a screwball he seems to be in real life. (Almost.)

Jim Hetfield is still prone to writing some really awkward verses here and there, but nothing is as awful as pure garbage like "Sweet Amber" on St. Anger, for instance (though, frankly, it's unlikely anything could be).

But there's plenty here to like. More than like. This is devil horn fist in the air type stuff.

The opening track, "That Was Just Your Life", opens with the sound of a heartbeat - appropriately symbolic of a band trying to prove that it still has some life in it. The guitar enters with a shimmering phasor effect, and it feels like when you're on the way up the first slope of a rollercoaster. You know you're going to start moving really fast, really soon. Will it be fun? Will everyone enjoy the ride and want to tell their friends they need to go on it? Yes and yes.

The drums kick in, the overdrive switches on, and that old familiar snarling staccato vocal delivery digs its claws in. As my good friend Bryan rhetorically asks aloud in his own blog, "There. Was that so hard?"

Track #3, "Broken, Beat, and Scarred" is, at "only" 6:30 long, a likely radio release.

Track #4, "The Day That Never Comes", is the first to have been released to fans via the Metallica website. The first couple of times I heard it, I was as wary as Bryan regarding the rest of the album. For the first five minutes, it's as close to the Bob Rock era as the album comes. It sounds like it's trying too hard to be radio friendly, and the vocals aren't as confident as they are on the rest of the album. It's Hetfield singing again, not barking the way he's at his best. And the lyrics are pretty forgettable ("when you stand up and feel the warmth, but the sunshine never comes"). The final three minutes, though, had me scratching my head - did they play like that because they meant it, or because they thought it was what people wanted to hear? It sounded like old Metallica, but were they just throwing it in as a treat to their older fans?

Turns out they meant it.

Track #5, "All Nightmare Long", will probably be the biggest hit on the record. It's got the perfect mix of the old Metallica songwriting style with the radio-friendly chorus of the more recent records. It's another eight minute long locomotive barreling down the tracks.

Bryan picked up on the Ennio Morricone vibe in "Unforgiven 3", too. Though it shares its name with two predecessors, it doesn't share the same melody or chorus. Metallica had recorded mostly-instrumental cover of "The Ecstasy of Gold" on a tribute record a while back - if you've seen The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, you'll recognize it as the song that plays toward the climax of the movie as Tuco runs through the cemetery trying to find Arch Stanton's grave. The similarities between that song and "U3" are subtle but undeniable. Hell, sometimes they're not subtle. Hetfield uses the word "gold" quite often in the new track and seems to begging for the comparison.

Two side notes:

1. I always wondered about how bands name songs. If a band writes something called "The Happy Song", and then on the next record they write another song that would have been more appropriately named "The Happy Song" than the first one, could they retro-actively re-name the first? Metallica has three "Unforgivens". Iron Maiden has a song called "Wicker Man", but so did Bruce Dickinson (their lead singer) on one of his solo records. I don't know. It's just kinda weird.

2. Just in case you haven't seen The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly and want to avoid a spoiler, skip the rest of this paragraph. Stop reading now. You've been warned. A couple of times. OK, I'm going to spoil it now. Ready? Look away. -- During the standoff at the end of the movie, wouldn't it have been better for Blondie to have decided Tuco's fate depending on what Tuco did when he drew his (ammunitionless) gun? They should have somehow made it clear that had Tuco drawn his weapon on Angel Eyes, Blondie would have spared him, but if he drew on Blondie, Blondie would have killed him despite their history. The only change I would have made to a wonderful movie.

Track #8, "The Judas Kiss", would have fit perfectly onto Justice.

Track #9, "Suicide and Redemption", is a welcome old friend: the ten-minute instrumental.

Track #10, "My Apocalypse": Kirk Hammett's solo at 2:25. Ooh, baby.

So yeah -- get it. Don't just download it. Regardless of their previous stance on pirated music and how it might be perceived that they treated their fans, you have to support art when you appreciate it.

It took a long time to be able to say this and mean it: Metallica has given us a gift this year. This is great stuff. Really, really great stuff.

Go check it out.